


Just a Number

by LyricalKris



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-15
Updated: 2012-09-04
Packaged: 2017-11-10 00:58:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 47,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalKris/pseuds/LyricalKris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Numbers are often invisible obstacles. For Edward, a significant age difference between him and Bella dictates the confines of their relationship. Can Bella teach him that sometimes a number is just a number?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  [ ](http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o82/lyricalkris/Twilight%20Fanfic%20Stuff/?action=view&current=JustaNumber2.jpg)   
> 

**A/N: I submitted the prologue and first chapter of this fic to the Fandom for Special Olympics compilation. It's gonna be a relatively short little fic.**

**Dedication: To Shug and GinnyW. This is Shug's plot bunny (and a lot of her words in this prologue) that I adopted. I love you girls. Really.**

**Disclaimer: Still not SM. Just playing in her driveway with her awesome toys.**

* * *

"Give them, O Lord, your peace and let your eternal light shine upon them."

Esme Cullen wiped the tears from her cheeks and, with the rest of the mourners who were gathered at the graveside service, murmured, "Amen."

"Amen," said a small voice to her left, the first word the child had uttered in the three days following her parents' tragic deaths.

A sense of profound relief lightened her heartache at the softly spoken word, and Esme reached down to take the young girl's hand, hoping to offer some comfort to the only child of her dearest friend.

But the little girl didn't want her comfort. She gently pulled her hand away before looking up at Esme with eyes so big and brown and broken that Esme felt her heart break all over again. Then the little girl looked away, her gaze focused on the two coffins that held the bodies of her parents.

A sob caught in Esme's throat. Her best friend and her husband were dead, killed by a drunk driver. It was unthinkable, unimaginable… and yet it had happened. Renee and Charlie were gone, leaving behind their six-year-old daughter.

The service concluded, and yet Bella remained still, refusing to speak or even look at those who stepped forward to offer their condolences. Not wanting to put any additional strain on the young girl's shoulders, Esme glanced at her husband.

Carlisle nodded, instinctively knowing what his wife had communicated. "I'll get the car."

The ride back to the house was filled with a strained silence. Esme sneaked a glance over her shoulder to check on the child quietly sitting all alone in the backseat. Worry and concern battled for dominance; little Isabella was such a sensitive child - how would she cope with such a devastating loss?

The next few days, Carlisle and Esme devoted to the child, trying to draw her out of the little shell she'd retreated into.

It was unnatural for a child her age to be so very still. She seemed to sit and stare no matter where she was. In her room, surrounded with toys, she would stare out the window, clutching the teddy bear her father had given her to her chest. If prompted, she would wander outside only to sit on the porch and stare at the trees. She would pick up things they tried to give her, but her actions were more dutiful than enthusiastic. She had no interest in Carlisle's stethoscope, Esme's books, or any games they tried to play with her. She spoke not at all, though she could be coaxed to nod or shake her head: yes, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich was fine; no, she didn't want ice cream.

At the end of the week, Esme and Carlisle's two sons came home from college for the summer. Twenty-two-year-old Emmett swept the tiny girl right up off her feet, tossing her high in the air. His ever-present grin faltered and fell when Bella reacted not at all. She didn't cry out, but nor did she giggle with delighted little-girl pleasure. Unsure how to handle her apathy, Emmett sat her back down again.

Twenty-year-old Edward didn't greet the child right away. Esme was about to chastise him, but Carlisle stopped her, watching curiously. Their eyes followed both children, watching as Edward sat on the step beside Bella without saying a word.

This continued for several days. No matter where Bella would choose to sit and stare, Edward would sit quietly with her. He might read or work on his laptop, but he was always with her.

On the fifth day, apropos of nothing, Edward stood. "I'm taking a walk," he said to no one, his voice unassuming.

He extended his hand toward the little girl.

Esme watched, astounded, as Bella first turned her head, staring at his hand with a look of overwrought contemplation that seemed wrong on such a small face. Then she stood, tucking her bear safely under one arm, and put her hand in his.

Together, they walked out beyond the tree line.

* * *

**A/N: So I don't plan on updating this again until Notes on the Fridge is complete… which really shouldn't be long. LOL. So maybe a week.**

**Thoughts?**

**  
**


	2. All Grown Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Convo between me and jfka06
> 
> jfka06: No way you make it till the end of the week before you post again.
> 
> Me: You doubt me?
> 
> jfka06: I doubt you'll make it until Tuesday.
> 
> Me: WILL OF STEEL.
> 
> Ahem. Suffice to say, jfka06 was right. Honestly, I'm a little overwhelmed at the response. 200 reviews for a 700 word prologue? GAH!
> 
> So thank you. I hope you'll enjoy the ride.

When he thought of Bella Swan when she wasn't standing right in front of him, Edward Cullen still pictured a very small six-year-old girl with knobby knees - usually skinned because she'd been trying to keep up with him - and wide, trusting brown eyes. It wasn't until she was standing right in front of him that he had to face the fact she'd grown up.

"Hey, little sister!" Emmett greeted, scooping her up and twirling her around.

"Em!" she shouted in protest, like she always did, but she held him tight and laughed as he put her down.

A low whistle echoed from beside Edward, momentarily distracting him from the scene. "The little one isn't your sister, is she?"

Edward grimaced, glancing over to where his friend and coworker, Jasper Whitlock, sat at his side. He sighed as Jasper snickered. A consummate charmer, the blond man had been warned not to mess with Bella. However, Bella hadn't come in the door alone.

"Neither of them are technically my sister," Edward finally answered. "But they are the same age."

"Legal. Excellent."

Edward rolled his eyes but his attention was quickly diverted when he realized Bella was looking at him.

The easy grin she wore for his brother rearranged itself into a tight lipped approximation of a smile. She nodded her head. "Hey, Edward. I didn't expect to see you here."

"I didn't expect to be here," he returned smoothly, his tone not betraying the tug of sadness at his heart. "This is Jasper, one of the execs at my firm."

"Jasper is thinking about using our backyard for a photoshoot," Esme said, walking in the door with Carlisle. Edward had to smile at the excited note in his mother's voice. She was bursting with pride.

"It's nice to meet you, Jasper," Bella greeted, grinning because no one who met Jasper could not grin when he smiled at them. "This is my roommate, Alice."

"Well, hello handsome," Alice greeted, all smiles as she gripped Jasper's hand. "And I guess we're not roommates anymore," she clarified. "I'm a free agent."

Edward caught Bella rolling her eyes and looked down at his feet to hide his grin.

She'd never had much patience for flirtation.

For a moment, as if she felt his eyes on her, Bella looked over at him again. They both froze for the space of a heartbeat, and he thought he saw the cool veneer she wore for him falter, letting warmth flood back into the pools of chocolate brown. Then she looked away, turning instead to her companion. "Come on, Alice. I'll show you the rooms. You can pick which one you like."

" _Rooms_?" Alice repeated, her voice loud even as they moved further away. "You have more than one guest room?" She snorted. "This house is huge..."

Edward watched the girls go, his heart giving a little twist.

Sometimes he thought he preferred to remember her as still six years old because she'd adored him then. She would gladly follow him anywhere. In fact, whenever she saw him leave, heading toward the forest where he liked to walk and think, she would come scurrying after him. Even though she frequently fell - her little legs no match for his long, strong ones - she never cried and never complained.

She did pepper their conversation with a million inquisitive questions, making him laugh and stumble over answers. When he lifted her onto his back and ran, she said she felt like they were flying. She hypothesized that surely he was the fastest person alive.

When she was six, he was her superhero.

But now she was 22, a freshly minted college grad, and it would take more than showing off his track skills to make her believe he was a superhero again. He'd settle for convincing her he wasn't an asshole, but she'd been able to smell his bullshit since she was at least 16 years old.

Of course, he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Hey, asshole."

Edward looked up, seeing that his elder brother was, for once, not smiling. He was scowling. At him, to be exact. Edward cocked his head, perplexed at Emmett's expression.

"Why the hell didn't you go to her graduation?"

Looking down, Edward twisted his lips, considering his answer. "I didn't think she'd want me there," he finally said, deciding honesty was the best policy in this particular case.

"Are you kidding me?" Emmett scoffed. "I think she asked Mom about you at least five times in my hearing range."

"I have a little sister. They say things like they don't want you around all the time," Jasper concurred. "They never mean it."

Edward's cheek twitched, the idea that he'd hurt her making his gut twist uncomfortably. "What can I say? I suppose I suck at being a big brother." He shook his head. "I'll make it up to her," he promised.

**~0~**

Bella sat cross-legged on her bed, looking around at the room that had been hers since her parents had died, leaving her to her mother's best friend, Esme.

It had undergone so many transformations.

When they had learned the worst case scenario had happened and Bella was to be left in their care, Carlisle and Esme had gone out of their way to make this room fit for a little princess. It was one of the first things Bella had haltingly admitted to Edward during their long walks.

She hated the princess stuff.

He'd asked her why she didn't just tell Carlisle and Esme this, and Bella had tearfully confessed her fear that if she wasn't the little girl her new guardians wanted her to be, they would give her away.

That very weekend, he'd bought a bunch of decals, redecorating her room with an old school Mario Bro's theme. He'd replaced her canopy bed with a racecar bed. She loved it. It was the first time since her parents died that she'd bounced in place like she was really six and not sixty.

And though the bedroom had changed as much as as she had over the years, she'd kept the shelves he made for her by hand - square shelves, a few of them closed off to look like the question mark blocks from the video game.

Bella stared at those shelves now, a sad smile on her face.

Edward had adored her once.

But she'd fucked that up good and proper a long time ago.

A knock on the door drew her thoughts out of the past. To her surprise, it was Edward standing in the doorway, his expression as passive as ever. "Can I come in?"

She nodded, automatically scooting backward to lean back against her headboard. He came to sit cross-legged in front of her, and Bella smirked, remembering playing cards with him when she was 10, 11, 12.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked, curious. A smile played at his lips that made her heart feel like a plane rearing for take-off.

"I was just remembering kicking your ass at rummy," she said quietly. In her room, it was harder to be aloof as she tried to be with him. How long had she been trying to show him she was grown up, grown past the foolish girl she'd been when they...

His smile broadened but only slightly. Still it was enough to make her blood feel warmer. "So you found a game you can actually beat me at, Swan. Don't get cocky." He wagged a finger in her face.

Laughing lightly, she stared down at her comforter, tracing the purple leaved branches with the pad of her finger. He sounded like his old self just then, the one who wasn't so uncomfortable and cold around her. She missed him. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"This is awkward," he said after a moment of silence. "It seems almost pompous for me to say I'm proud of you."

"Why do you think it's pompous?" she asked, cocking her head curiously. "I mean, everyone else has said it... unless you don't mean it."

"Of course I mean it," he said, his tone sincere. "MIT? That's quite an accomplishment, baby girl." He looked down, then back up from under his eyelashes. "I should have been there," he said with a decisive, displeased tone. "I just didn't think you'd want to see me, that's all. I know I haven't been as supportive as I could have been these last few years."

"By whose standards?" she asked. Bella shook her head. Edward had always been something of an enigma to her. Well, not always. There was a time when their relationship had been simple. At some point, something had changed. What that was, Bella was still at a loss as to explain.

She knew when the switchover had happened, though.

"Edward," she said with a sigh. "If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have even tried to get into MIT."

His face scrunched in confusion. "That was your dream, wasn't it?"

"Well, yes and no." She took a deep breath. The distance of years often muddled the sequence of events. "When I started looking into schools, I had a vague notion of a dream. And everyone kept putting me off because the degree I wanted would require a lot of math." Her smile was sardonic. "You remember how much I struggled with math."

He smirked. After everything went so fantastically wrong, it was the one thing that got them talking again. When she needed help with her math homework, it was his tutoring via gtalk or Skype that got her through it. "I seem to recall you had a question or two."

"Or twenty. A night." She rolled her eyes. "So I couldn't blame everyone when they thought that maybe I should rethink my educational path." Looking up at him, she smiled. "But you were the only one that never did. When I told you what I wanted to do, you sent me a list of the top five schools I should look at and why. You just seemed so certain I could do it - even if it would be hard."

"Most things worth doing are difficult," he said quietly. "It never occurred to me to doubt you. If that was what you wanted, I knew you were capable."

And because he knew, she believed, she thought but didn't say. "It was difficult. Still, I did it, and I think I made the right choice. You had everything to do with that."

Their silence then was not so awkward, but more comfortable. "Well, I should have been there to see you walk the stage."

"It's not that important," she lied. "It's just a silly ceremony."

"I should have been there," he argued. "I would have. It's just..."

"Look," she began hurriedly, blowing out a breath in a huff. Maybe it was the finality of finishing her Bachelors degree, but she was ready to right wrongs in her life, start fresh. "I know you've been... wary about seeing me since... since then. And I don't blame you. I know things have been weird for a long time. But I was a stupid kid then. A lot has changed - I've changed. I'm not going to... do that again. So if that's what you're worried about-"

"Bella," he said quickly, reaching across the space that separated them, putting his hand over her mouth.

For the space of a few breaths, Bella's heartbeat began to stutter.

She didn't know how long it had been since he'd touched her. Maybe it was as much as seven years, if she wasn't counting the stilted hugs the few times he'd been around at Christmas. She'd always assumed he did it more to keep Esme and Carlisle's worries at bay.

He seemed to catch the significance, his eyes holding hers. He let his hand drop slowly before he broke eye contact, staring out the window. For long moments, he was silent. "It's not you. It's never been you."

She waited, but he didn't seem inclined to explain further. "Is it so insurmountable?" she asked finally. She cringed because she'd feared the answer to this question for years. It was better to do this odd, circling dance they'd been doing than to lose him completely. He was her best friend, her confidant - the most important person in her life since almost before she could remember. That had never changed.

"Is what so insurmountable?" he asked, looking honestly confused.

"Can't we try to be friends again?" Her voice was quiet, and she struggled to make it not waiver. It felt strangely like her world would crumble if he put the final nail in the coffin of their relationship, as melodramatic as that sounded.

To her surprise, his eyes were wide, almost horrified. "Oh, Bella." He shook his head, chuckling nervously. "I never imagined you would interpret my attitude that way." He rubbed a hand over his chin, tracing the line of stubble - it had been some days since he'd shaved. She'd noticed that almost instantly when he walked in the door.

She still remembered the way that little bit of stubble felt, brushing against her cheek.

"To answer your question, of course we can be friends. I've never  _not_ been your friend," he said finally.

This cheered her considerably, and Bella sat up straight, smiling. "Good."

**~Six Years Before~**

She didn't want to be here.

Actually, the whole night had been a practice in strained patience and boredom. Her legs itched because she was sure stockings were made by the devil himself. Her face felt thick, matted as it was with too much makeup - though anything was too much makeup to Bella. Perhaps her dress should have made her feel like a princess or a grown woman - she'd gotten so many compliments - but it felt cumbersome. She felt more awkward than anything in it.

Why had she thought this was a good idea?

Bella had had no intention of going to prom at all. But then Edward had asked, and when he heard this, he began pestering her in that Edward-y way of his to go. He did that sometimes - when he sensed she was withdrawing from something he felt she should embrace.

It was her own fault. Once, she'd told him that it felt weird doing certain things her parents would have loved to have seen. Esme and Carlisle always told her 'your parents would be proud, your parents would have said this, or done that.' Sometimes, it made her feel guilty.

What was childhood without parents to treasure those moments?

Sometimes, she thought she shouldn't have told him, shouldn't have given him one more thing to worry about, but she'd long been in the habit of telling him everything.

Now that the day was here, Bella knew well and truly that her disinterest in Prom had nothing to do with her parents. It had not been a good night.

Edward had painted such a pretty picture for her, though. He told her there were only a certain number of days a woman - a woman - got to look and feel like a princess. He said on days like these, dresses hung perfectly, there was no tripping or clumsiness, and her date would be entirely attentive.

It wasn't the worst night of her life - though when she had the death of her parents in her past, that wasn't saying much - but it wasn't what Edward said it was going to be.

Then again, as she stared out the window of Tyler's car on the drive home, Bella had to admit that her disappointment may have stemmed from the fact that when she gave in to the picture Edward described, it was Edward himself she'd begun picturing in her head.

Tyler was not Edward. He wasn't a prick or anything like that, but he wasn't Edward.

He'd been appreciative enough of her dress - "damn baby, you look fine tonight" - he'd fetched her punch and held her hand. He'd wrapped his arm around her when they took pictures on entering and danced with her as often as she'd let him.

Right then, what Bella wanted most was for Tyler to shut up, but they were almost back home. She wasn't going to start being rude to him now just because she would have rather spent the night in someone else's company.

And really, Edward had spoiled her for the boys of Forks High School. Who had patience for their prattling about the latest music, television, or movie phenomenon? She and Edward had real discussions. Edward never treated her like she was a kid in high school, but like a peer who was absolutely capable of talking about topics her own peers couldn't care less about.

When she told him about tonight, he would probably chuckle and say something about it being just as well. "Wait until college," he'd told her often. "Boys in college are smarter. Well. Relatively, anyway."

Because it was impossible to be a high school girl and not think about boyfriends - or girlfriends, if one were so inclined - Bella had given some thought of late to what she might want in a significant other.

What she wanted was a boy - a man - just like Edward.

Tyler stopped the car, and Bella was relieved to see they were in front of her house. She reached for the door handle right away. Turning back, she was surprised to see Tyler's face was only inches from hers.

"I had a really good time tonight," he began, reaching across the console to lay his hand on her shoulder. He began to stroke her neck. It felt weird, but Bella didn't quite know how she was supposed to react.

"Um," she stumbled. "I did, too," she lied because it was the least she could do. It wasn't as if he hadn't tried to make her happy.

"That's good," he murmured, smiling. He leaned in.

And suddenly, Bella knew he was about to kiss her. In the fraction of a second she had between the action and when it happened, she considered whether or not this was what she wanted. When his lips touched hers, though, she closed her eyes, deciding to just go with the flow.

The motion of his lips moving along hers, urging her to respond, drew up an idle fantasy, and behind her closed eyelids, she found herself imagining there was someone very different in the car with her.

For just a minute, she was able to believe.

Then, she had to notice the little things.

In the photos she saw scattered on his Facebook - always uploaded by friends - he typically had a little bit of stubble, like he was always a day or two late to shave. Tyler's smooth, freshly shaved and baby soft skin didn't feel like she'd always imagined Edward's chin would feel, scraping along hers.

And there was the sharp, bitter taste of alcohol lingering on her own lips, marring what little enjoyment she could take from the kiss.

God, she was tipsy. Her head was thick. She didn't really want to be doing this.

Her hands on Tyler's chest, she pushed him away. "I... I... I have to go inside."

He gave her a look. "What? You said your parents weren't home."

"They're not my parents," she replied - an automatic response, ingrained over time.

"Whatever. They're not home, right?"

"Right," she hedged.

"Then don't worry so much about curfews." He grinned and leaned in to kiss her again.

Again, she pushed him back. "Goodnight, Tyler," she said shortly.

He looked confused and hurt. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," she replied, exasperated. "I just don't want to do this, okay?"

"Whoa, hey," Tyler said, putting his hands up. "I don't know what you're trying to say-"

"Oh, God. Good night, Tyler," she said again, her patience at an end.

He grabbed her arm when she tried to get out of the car. "No. Hey, listen. I just need to know what you mean, Bella. I don't want you spinning some story."

"You are making this a bigger deal than it has to be," she growled, yanking her arm back. Her head was spinning. The punch at the Prom had been spiked. She knew, of course, but she'd drunk anyway and now she was regretting it. It was putting an oddly emotional spin on everything.

"Just tell me-"

Tyler was cut off by a sharp rap on the window.

Bella was sure, for one moment, that she must be a lot drunker than she'd originally imagined. All night, she'd been picturing how much better things would be if Edward was there. Suddenly - though he was supposed to be many miles away - there he was.

She turned back to Tyler. "I've got to go," she repeated, getting out of the car before he could protest again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay. For reals now, I'm not updating again until Notes is done.
> 
> Again, thanks so much for your kind words and your response. I hope I won't disappoint!


	3. The Players

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WILL OF STEEL? Not so much. You guys... I only have one more chapter in my "bank"... EEK.
> 
> Clarification, since there was some confusion.
> 
> There is a 14 year age gap. So in the Prologue, they are 20 and 6, in the flashbacks, they are 30 and 16, and now they are 36 (about to be 37) and 22.

It was one of those perfect weekends where the whole house seemed to wake up slowly.

The Cullens were very active people. Even when it had only been Esme, Carlisle, and Bella in the house, there was a certain bustle that went with the weekends. Every once in awhile though, the morning was filled with silence.

Bella stretched her arms over her head, bracing her palms against her bed. She smiled, running her fingers over the row of books.

She loved her bed, had always loved her beds.

Funny, even after their falling out, Edward continued to know what she wanted. When she graduated from high school, Edward had gifted her with what had to be the most extravagant bed she'd ever seen. It was high enough that it had to be climbed into. Mostly, this was because it sat upon a full frame. There were two long drawers on either side and four in the front. The headboard contained two shelves separated by two small drawers in the middle. The long top of the headboard could be used as a shelf as well.

It was perfect for her. She only need reach back to have her most precious books literally at her fingertips, and the shelf on top was wide enough to display whatever collection struck her fancy at the moment.

Bella was something of a geek.

When she'd come home to find the thing assembled in her room already with a congratulations note from him - he hadn't attended that graduation either - she'd been confused.

"This is not going to fit in my dorm room," she'd told him when they spoke on the phone that evening.

"It's so you always have something to come home to," he'd answered.

And as he had perhaps predicted, it had become a comfort to her. She loved this bed.

Rolling onto her belly, Bella pushed herself up onto her knees so she could stare out the window. To her surprise, she found that she wasn't the only one awake, as she'd originally suspected. Edward and Jasper were both out in the backyard.

She watched for a few minutes, a little fascinated by the process.

They'd explained the night before that what they were looking for was the background of an outdoor wedding. Bella had to admit, the Cullens backyard was idyllic. Under the right circumstances, Forks could come straight from a fairytale - with its carpet of green clinging to everything. And the Cullen house sat atop a hill, overlooking the Sol Duc River.

As Jasper and Edward talked, pointing and sweeping their hands wide over this place and that, Bella knew they were seeing something completely different. She'd long ago learned that Edward saw things differently in his head - saw sides of things that weren't obvious to anyone else. With people, it was almost frightening. It was like he could read their innermost thoughts and capture the sides of them they typically hid behind careful public masks.

Over the years, Bella had secretly collected his professional work: photographs for articles, advertisements, and the like. He was talented.

But then, she'd always known that.

Bella's door flew open, and she looked up just in time to see Alice bound toward her bed. Her friend sat up on her knees, laying her folded arms on Bella's back. "Good morning, sunshine. What are we looking at?" But before Bella could open her mouth, Alice answered her own question. "Ooooh. Pretty boys."

"I thought you just liked the blond one," Bella said, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Alice chuckled. "Well, the blond one is hotter. But still, they're both pretty."

Bella glanced over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes when she saw Alice's mischievous expression. "Don't start," she warned.

"What? Are you really going to pull the overprotective sister routine on me?" Alice grinned.

"No." Bella's cheeks warmed. She didn't know why the idea pissed her off so much. Alice was a flirt by nature but a harmless one, and Edward was a big boy. He could take care of himself. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't think Edward is into younguns like us."

"Pish! Posh!" Alice laughed and flopped down on her back on the bed. She propped her hands behind her head and grinned up at Bella. "Does he have a girlfriend? Or has he had a recent break-up?"

"No girlfriend." Bella titled her head, thinking. "He hasn't been with anyone that I know of since Rosalie."

"Rosalie?" Alice sat up. "Your brothers both dated someone named Rosalie?"

"It's the same Rosalie. And they're not my brothers."

"Oh, close enough." She waved her hand. "Really? You're saying Edward dated Rosalie... Emmett's wife, Rosalie?" She whistled. "That must have been drama."

Bella shrugged. "It was a long time ago."

Alice snorted. "You make yourself sound so ancient. And since we're the same age, I guess I am old enough to go after Edward."

"Ugh. Please don't."

"What's your deal, anyway?" Alice asked, her voice more serious now. "I know you don't like him-"

"Who even said that?" Bella interrupted, turning away from the window and jumping down from the bed. "What makes you think I don't like him?"

Sitting up in the middle of the bed, Alice regarded her cooly. "Silly me. Obviously, whenever he came up these last  _four_ years and you ended up going on an hour long rant about him, I should have taken that as a sign of your undying admiration."

Glaring, Bella threw her dirty top from the day before at Alice.

"'He's a self-centered, narcissistic, arrogant bastard,'" Alice quoted. "Am I leaving anything out?"

"We've had our issues," Bella admitted. "But it's water under the bridge. I figure, we're going to have to be in each other's lives all the time - why make it awkward?"

"What made it awkward in the first place?"

Picking up her pillow, Bella attempted to smother her friend. Anyway, it would distract Alice from the fact she was suddenly blushing furiously.

_**~0~** _

There were a lot of things Edward should have been doing.

Since Jasper had given the official go ahead, much had to be done before the actual shoot. He should have been looking at different angles - the way the sunlight hit the open meadow behind the house at certain times of the day. Officially, he was working. It didn't matter that he'd grown up in this house.

And technically,  _that_ didn't matter. Edward would have been able to do his job just fine, except he was distracted.

The male model who would be playing the part of the groom, Mike Newton, had flown in the previous afternoon, days early for the shoot. He'd never been to the Pacific Northwest. And that would have been fine, except he stopped in to say hello to Edward and Jasper, and Esme had offered him one of the spare guest rooms.

"We have plenty of room," she'd said. "No need to go to a hotel."

And even that would have been fine, except at breakfast, he'd struck up a conversation with Bella.

He knew they were speaking English, but Edward was irritated when he found he couldn't follow along to save his life. Neither could anyone else, but they seemed to be more amused than anything.

"Holy crap," Alice muttered. "You found another geek!"

Mike and Bella looked sheepish as they turned their attention back to the rest of the family. "Sorry," Bella said to her friend. "It's just nice to meet a fellow Browncoat."

"A what?" Carlisle asked, looking confused.

"A Browncoat, sir," Mike said, slipping into an old western accent. "Fought for independence from the alliance during the war, but we're all just folk now."

Prior to that moment, Edward's feelings toward Mike had been of complete indifference. Watching Bella smother a grin behind her hand, he found he suddenly had an intense dislike for the blond man.

Around lunchtime, his dislike was driving him to the point of distraction.

Mike was supposed to be out taking in the Peninsula. Instead, he and Bella had been talking animatedly for hours on the back porch while Jasper and Edward worked.

"We're gonna need to check the forecast to figure out the best days," Jasper muttered, staring up at the gloomy sky.

"Hmm," Edward hummed, his eyes once more going to the twosome on the porch when they broke into laughter. Again.

"I don't mind the gray. The gray should bring out the green nicely. But the rain would make things... difficult."

Edward made another noncommittal sound, not really listening. Mike was tapping on Bella's knee to emphasize his point. Edward bristled.

"What do you think about making it a wet t-shirt contest wedding if it rains? I mean, wet t-shirts are supposed to be white anyway, so it would fit the theme."

"Sounds good," Edward mumbled.

Jasper snickered, and Edward turned back toward his friend, blinking, sure he'd missed something.

Before Jasper could comment, he was distracted by a cheery, "hey there, boys!"

Edward smirked when he saw the way Jasper's face lit up, watching Alice bounce over to them. Despite the coolness of the day - summer in Forks rarely reached the 80's at the hottest - she was wearing short shorts. If Edward were looking at her objectively, he understood how the other man could find her sexy.

"Well, hello, sugar," Jasper greeted in his most charming voice. Edward had to struggle not to roll his eyes. If he wasn't careful, his eyes were going to roll right out of his skull before they got back home to Chicago.

For a little time, Edward was able to concentrate on his work, sorting through the filters of his camera while he and Jasper talked about which sets would be where.

"You know what would be pretty?" Alice asked.

Jasper indulged her. "What's that?"

Hopping up on a tree stump, she spread her hands wide over the area. "You cover this whole area with hanging garlands of white blossoms - orange blossoms and freesia would be just perfect. Mostly white with a hint of the lightest lavender." She tapped her chin. "Instead of folding chairs, you could get these benches made out of whole trees - I know where to get them - and line the aisle with moss covered logs."

Edward arched an eyebrow, catching Jasper's eye.

It wasn't a bad idea.

"That's... yeah, I can see that," Jasper muttered, rubbing a hand over his chin. "Don't tell me MIT has a design school."

Alice laughed, looking pleased. "I'm a Computer Science major," she said cheerfully. "What? A girl can't like math and have a good eye for aesthetics?"

"Guess it just means you're talented," Jasper returned.

Shaking his head, Edward wandered off to get another shot of the house and the trees.

Another couple of hours passed. Edward went inside to find Bella and Mike sprawled on the living room couches, their eyes on the flatscreen.

He tried to ignore them, walking into the kitchen to get a drink, but he found himself straining to overhear their commentary.

"You look down, Mulder. Tell you what, you're welcome to come over Saturday night. We're all hopping on the internet to nitpick the scientific inaccuracies of Earth 2," he heard Bella quote along with the show on the screen. They both snickered.

"It's an odd way to distract a man when the love of his life is lying comatose and dying," Mike said thoughtfully.

"He hadn't realized she was the love of his life at that point," Bella pointed out.

"Okay, but she was still hella important to him or he wouldn't be going all emo."

"I don't think I could be distracted at all. If I were him, I wouldn't have left her side," Bella said quietly.

"Yeah, but he had 'the truth' to figure out." Mike paused. "Either that or he was scared of her truly gigantic breasts."

Edward tensed, irritated for no real reason.

"Oh, jeez," Bella muttered. Edward could practically hear her rolling her eyes.

"What? Those things are frightening! She's just been returned from alien abduction. He was probably scared little baby aliens were going to pop out of them." Mike made a noise like an explosion and then play-screamed in a high pitched voice.

Bella giggled. "Shut up! You know Gillian had just had her baby. Of course her breasts were huge."

"I'm telling you, they missed a huge opportunity here. Pregnancies get written into shows all the time, but how many shows could have written in a big breasted storyline?" Mike pressed. "Can you imagine? 'Scully, the aliens have augmented your knockers! And here I thought they were bad guys...'"

Unable to take it anymore, Edward strode into the living room. He cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Oh, hey Edward," Mike greeted.

Edward considered for a moment the odd compulsion he had to put his fist through Mike's perfect, toothy grin. "Afternoon," he said easily. "You have a very funny way of seeing the Olympic Peninsula."

Bella arched an eyebrow at him. Reviewing his words in his head, Edward heard the rudeness in his tone, but before he could apologize, Mike was speaking.

"Ah, guess we got a little distracted," he said with a grin. "See, Bella keeps on insisting that The X-Files wasn't filmed here."

"Oh, my god. you know for a fact it wasn't!" Bella protested. "It was filmed in Vancouver."

"Well, Forks looks like Vancouver then."

Edward's cheek twitched. "Vancouver is only five hours away," he said smoothly. "If you're so interested in seeing the difference, maybe you should spend the night there."

Bella narrowed her eyes at him, but Mike cocked his head, curious.

"That would be rad!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. "Bella, you've been, right? You had to have - you lived so close for so long. I bet you know all the sites they filmed at."

"Um, actually... I don't think I've ever made it up to Vancouver."

Mike's eyes went wide. "Are you serious? You're this big of an X-Phile and so close, and you've never been to where they filmed the series?" He shook his head. "We should totally go. You and me. We'll do a roadtrip."

Edward turned on his heel, walking away quickly before he could say it was a horrible idea.

In all honesty, he knew Bella would probably love to go on such a tour through the city where one of her favorite series was filmed. She'd talked about it when she was much younger - when the show was still on. And when they'd taken a trip to Los Angeles as a family, she'd begged his parents to go to an obscure baseball diamond and totally geeked out where some important scene of the show was filmed.

Edward shook his head hard, reminding himself that she was an adult and didn't need his protection anymore. So what if it was obvious that Mike was flirting with her. Hard. So what if he thought Mike wasn't good enough to even look Bella in the eye. She was a big girl, and she could make those decisions for herself. It was really none of his business.

And besides, the last time he'd had an urge to protect her from an admirer, it hadn't gone so well.

_~Six Years Before~_

He hadn't told anyone he was coming home for a few days, so Edward was only mildly surprised when the house was empty. It was Saturday, so he could understand that his parents were out, but it was strange to find Bella out so late.

Maybe she was at a sleepover.

It wasn't until he peered in her room - just to make sure he hadn't missed her - only to find it in a disarray - even more than usual, anyway. Usually, there was some sort of order to her mess.

Then he remembered. Prom.

Right. He had even convinced her it was something she should do.

So why the thought made him suddenly uneasy, he didn't know.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Historically speaking, he knew what prom symbolized. He knew what could happen there - what she might be doing right this very moment.

But, at sixteen, Bella was a good, smart kid. She wasn't the type of teenage girl who'd had a boyfriend every other week. In fact, to the best of Edward's knowledge, she had only gone on one or two dates and reported back that it was nothing serious. His parents were progressive, and had raised Bella as they'd raised their two boys, so he knew that they'd talked frankly about sex, and Carlisle had probably made sure to put a few condoms in her bag the same as he'd put condoms in Edward's glove compartment before his prom - just in case.

The thought made him unreasonably uncomfortable.

So though he'd been planning on going straight to his room to sleep - it had been a long, busy week for him - he camped out in the family room instead. The family room... which had a large picture window with a perfect view of the driveway.

He saw when Tyler pulled up.

Edward held his breath, waiting for her to step out of the car quickly - it seemed, at first, that she was going to - but when Tyler reached out, touching her shoulder, she didn't recoil

And then Tyler was kissing her.

At first, it seemed like Bella was into it - her head tilted with his. But then, she pushed him away.

A spark of anger churned uncomfortably in Edward's gut.

After a moment, Tyler leaned forward again, and Bella pushed him again.

Edward stood.

It looked like they might be arguing, but when Tyler grabbed her arm to stop her from getting out of the car, Edward snapped. He was out the door so quick, he hardly registered the movement.

His first instinct was to go around to Tyler's side and haul the little punk right out of his car, but he was lucid enough to know that wouldn't end well. After all, he really had no idea if he was misconstruing what was happening. His tendency to let his temper get the better of him was something he'd struggled with in high school.

Instead, he went to Bella's side, tapping on her window. She looked surprised but relieved to see him, and she got out quickly. "Goodnight, Tyler," she said, her tone irritated as she slammed the door shut.

Her words were slightly slurred.

And she stumbled backward a bit with the force she threw the door closed.

Instinctively, Edward put his arm around her waist, pulling her close against him to steady her. She swayed.

Tyler, looking displeased and nervous, got out of his car. "Hey, uh... Edward, right?"

"How much have you had to drink?" Edward fired at the boy.

The anger in his tone made Tyler's eyes go wide. "Nothing, man. God, I knew I had to drive. You think I would drink something?" He was pissed off at the very thought.

"But Bella did drink," he surmised. He smelled it on her.

"Well, yeah, but-"

"And you think she's in any condition to do what you were doing?" Edward demanded, his voice a roar.

Tyler's eyes went wide, and he put his hands up. "What is it with you people? I wasn't doing anything!"

"Ugh. God. Edward, it's fine. Nothing happened," Bella said, trying to wiggle away from him. He held her tighter.

"You," he pointed at Tyler, "get out of here."

Turning around, he pulled Bella with him into the house.

"Could you be more embarrassing?" she grumbled, pushing him away.

"Could you be more stupid?" he challenged, still pissed off. "What were you thinking, Bella? You know better than to drink and-"

"I'm fine!" she protested, stumbling backward a step so she could glare at him. "I am not that drunk. I'm just a little tipsy. I knew what was going on, and Tyler wasn't going to do anything. He was just being obnoxious."

She turned on her heel, heading for the stairs and away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Much love and affection to my girls, jfka06, barburella, Shug, and Ginny. You make mah docs a happy place.
> 
> Seriously. I'm putting this in an OFFICIAL rotation. Which means I will update all my other fics before I update this again.
> 
> SRS BSNS. I MEAN IT.


	4. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: See now, was that so hard? Here's your update. IN ROTATION.
> 
> Will of steel, baby.
> 
> Course, my cushion is gone...
> 
> Crap.

"It's a wonder you haven't worn your teeth straight down to nothing by now."

Edward looked down at his laptop, making a concerted effort to unclench his jaw and stop grinding his teeth before he answered his father. "Habit, I suppose. I didn't realize I was doing it," he said easily.

The first comment was a lie, though the latter was true.

From his expression, Edward could tell Carlisle didn't believe him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Edward asked with mild irritation.

Rather than answer his direct question, Carlisle chose a platitude. "Maybe it seems strange for me to say, but I want you to know your mother and I are always here for you, if you need to talk."

Irritation was beginning to bleed into exasperation. "What would I need to talk about?"

"Well, that's for you to tell me," Carlisle said in that sincere way of his.

Edward often wished he was more like his father, open and empathetic, or gentle like his mother. But he was neither. He was impatience and arrogance dotted with the occasional black mood.

"You've seemed upset these last few days," Carlisle finally explained. "Your mother is worried."

This was code Edward was long used to. If he was speaking to him about it, Carlisle was just as worried as Esme was. Edwards lips twitched. He'd always known he was lucky when it came to his parents. Even as a grown man, their love was consistent.

So despite the fact it irked him that they could be so hovery, his smile was genuine as he looked up again. "I'm sure Mom has a theory."

"Of course she does." Carlisle chuckled, the fondness obvious on his face. Even after forty years together, Carlisle and Esme were still very much in love.

The thought made Edward smile.

"So?" Edward prompted.

Carlisle's smile tightened. "She thinks you're lonely."

Edward looked back down at his laptop, concentrating for a moment on the e-mail in front of him. "Loneliness is a choice."

"Why do you choose to be lonely? I've always wondered. There's been no one since Rosalie."

Tilting his head, Edward gave his father a look. "I choose to be alone. I'm not lonely."

"Still," Carlisle pressed. "Why do you make that choice? You've inherited my stunning good looks..."

Edward laughed at that, shaking his head. "I've got no patience for the whole game, but you already know that. Besides, what makes you think I'm unhappy this way?"

"The teeth grinding for one," Carlisle reminded, and Edward grimaced in response.

"It's just work," Edward insisted. "That's all."

His father snorted. "Son, I've known you all the years of your life. You are an excellent liar, but you can't lie to me." He clapped Edward on the shoulder. "It's your business, of course, if you want to talk or not. Regardless, we're here."

Edward sat, staring sightlessly forward, drumming his fingers on the keyboard.

His father and mother had done their best to be there for all their children regardless of circumstance.

He wondered how he would fare if he were to tell his father the truth about what was bothering him.

Slamming his laptop closed, Edward went looking in search of a distraction.

**_~0~_ **

Edward found himself restlessly wandering the backyard, pacing back and forth. He told himself he was searching for new angles, but he knew better. Really, he wanted to disappear into the forest.

It had been his habit since he was very young to head off into the wilderness that surrounded the house whenever he needed to be alone with his thoughts. Sometimes, like now, his thoughts would get tangled and snarled in his head, making him frustrated and on edge. In the forest, the world was distilled down to the basics. The air was fresh, usually cold. There were only the sounds of birds and the rustle of the wind through the trees.

Edward ran a hand through his hair, restless. He remembered when he came home that year right after the Swans died.

For the week or so Edward was still at school after the accident, he'd spoken to his mother nearly every night. Esme had worried about the girl - how she wouldn't talk, how she only stared. So he'd had an idea of what he was coming home to.

When Edward saw Bella for the first time - this withdrawn and quietly devastated child - he had no words for how his heart twisted in his chest. In that one moment, a deep seeded need to protect her took root and became part of him. She was all alone in the world. He wanted nothing more than to pick her up, cradle her close, and protect her from ever having to feel this kind of pain again.

He would never know what directed his actions, how he knew just the right thing to do. He supposed she reminded him of a frightened little kitten, drawn up into a corner. She didn't know how to react to the adults who were only trying to help her, and she didn't know how to talk about whatever heavy thoughts were wandering around her little overburdened head. So he merely sat with her, letting her get used to his equally quiet presence.

And when he was sure there was a bond between them - unspoken but strong - he'd offered his hand and she'd taken it. He didn't know if it would work. No one else in his family understood why the forest was such a calming place for him. He remembered so well how he worried as they walked slowly, hand in hand, until they were out of sight of the big house.

As they got deeper into the forest, she'd started to cling tighter, get closer to him, and he considered that the encroaching darkness might be frightening to such a little child. But then they'd arrived at his intended destination. A beautiful place filled with flowers and sunshine.

There, in a pretty little meadow, day by day, one by one, she admitted her fears and feelings. Even at six she understood this place, close and yet so far removed from the world, was a safe space.

But there was the problem. The forest had become a place he shared with her, where they'd built their relationship.

He hadn't been in the forest since their falling out when she was sixteen.

_**~Six Years Before~** _

Edward was right behind her on the stairs, not wanting her to fall. He felt calmer now that she was in the house, away from the teenage boy with his teenage boy hormones. Guilt tugged at his conscience. He knew he'd overreacted.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you," he said quietly as they reached the top of the stairs. "He was just getting handsy, that's all."

"And so what if he was? God forbid anyone get a little handsy."

He blinked at her, a little shocked. "You didn't tell me you were seeing anyone with any degree of seriousness."

"What?" Her brows were knit with confusion, and he almost smiled. Almost. "You mean go out with Tyler?" She snorted. "Yeah, like that would happen."

She turned again, heading unsteadily down the hallway toward her room. Frowning, Edward followed her.

"I'm not naive. I know it's nice to have a little... physical attention." Edward didn't quite understand why this thought made him so uncomfortable. Probably because he still looked on her like a little girl who needed protection. "Still, it's better to do those things with someone who cares about you, who you trust."

To his surprise, she laughed. He'd never seen her this irritated and emotional. She wasn't that girl. "You're just always full of relationship wisdom. I'm getting a little sick of it. It was your fault I went out with him at all, and now you're telling me I shouldn't have? It's just... bullshit. You're full of shit anyway, Edward. Like you would know anything about good relationships."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your girlfriend."

Bizarrely, Edward felt tremendously guilty at the thought of his girlfriend, Rosalie. "You're not making sense."

She pushed herself off the wall but stumbled. Edward wrapped his arm around her waist before she could fall. Her hands splayed palm out on his chest, and the irritation written on her face faded to a wide-eyed innocence. She stared at him, and his breath caught. The atmosphere between them undulated, changing into something heavier, something alive on his skin.

"I um... She just doesn't treat you right." Bella tripped over her words. "I don't think she loves you."

Edward blinked, her words not quite making sense. It took his suddenly addled mind a few precious seconds to remember.

Rosalie. Right. His girlfriend.

"What makes you say that?" In his own head, his voice seems low, muddled. He couldn't think and that should have disturbed him, especially because he held her so close. It had not escaped him how pretty she looked. She was always pretty, but today was special. Her hair hung loose but wavy, and the dress she'd chosen - deep blue - hugged her curves in all the right places.

When. When had she grown those curves? The last time he'd seen her, her body had been androgynous.

There was no doubt she was a woman - a girl - now, not with her body up against his.

"Because I would never treat you the way she treats you." Her eyes were locked on his, and he was mesmerized - so much so that it took him a full minute to process what she'd said.

_I don't think Rosalie loves you, because I would never treat you the way she treats you._

His pulse felt thready, his blood thin, as though he would start trembling at any moment. He realized abruptly his hands were pressed against her sides, his fingers wrapped around her slim waist. And he wanted to touch her. Dear God, the simple impulse to touch the tips of his fingers to her cheek was almost more than he could bear.

There was a good reason why he shouldn't touch her, but he couldn't remember what it was.

Her eyes searched his, her full lips slightly parted. He wasn't new to the world of wanting glances and body language. He heard the words as clearly as if she'd spoken.

_Kiss me._

He tilted his head. The heat of her breath on his lips made him dizzy with need. Her eyes closed, and he gave in.

**_~0~_ **

Edward sat heavily on the porch, threading his hands through his hair and tugging hard. The guilt he felt was a weight on his shoulders, pinning him down as effectively as any physical thing.

It wasn't just that he had no right to do what he'd done. What made it all the worse - and what could be worse than taking advantage of a child - was that to this day, six years later, he still daydreamed about that kiss. He could still remember how very sweet it was: the emotion of that kiss, the tenderness of it, and the taste of her lips, and the way her body fit the lines of his. And yet, for something that was so small and innocent, the need that rushed through him then was powerful. He remembered so well, he had to close his eyes, craving the gentle touch of her lips to his, locking his body in place until the feeling passed.

When it finally eased its hold on him, Edward released a long, slow breath, willing the iron grip around his heart to loosen. He braced himself, letting a fresh wave of guilt wash over him as he remembered what happened next, when he realized what he'd done.

But before he could wallow, the silence of the day was broken by backdoor opening and a matched set of giggling. Edward looked over his shoulder to find his friend coming out the door with Bella's little roommate perched on his back. Jasper released her onto the small sofa that sat on the porch and fell down with her, drawing her into his arms. Their bodies moved with fluid grace, his laying hers down, hers wrapping lithely around his, pulling him closer.

Edward cleared his throat.

The amorous couple straightened a bit, looking not as abashed as Edward would have preferred. Alice rearranged herself on Jasper's lap, ducking her head to lay against his shoulder, her nose skimming his neck.

Edward did his best to conceal how uncomfortable he was with the whole display. He'd thought he was doing a decent job of this until he tracked back into the kitchen for a drink and Jasper followed him.

"Just what the hell is your problem?" the blond man challenged.

"Why should I have a problem?" Edward asked cooly, studying the contents of the refrigerator with sudden great interest.

Jasper's eyes narrowed. "That's what I'd like to know. And don't pussy foot around this shit. The judgment is coming off you so thick, I can feel it, and I gotta tell you, I don't appreciate it. So cut the crap, and tell me why you're glaring at me like I killed a kitten. It's not like you haven't seen me do the same damn thing with other girls a million times."

Before he answered, Edward turned and leaned back against the fridge, trying to find the right words. "It's... unsettling," he decided. "You're old enough to be her father.

His friend snorted. "Yeah, I suppose. If I fathered her at fourteen, it would be technically possible. Is that really what's got your goat?" He shook his head. "She's 22, not some naive, blushing teenager."

Edward turned away quickly, hoping Jasper, often too observant, wouldn't see his remorseful expression. "She's immature, comparatively."

Again, Jasper snorted. "Comparative to what? You have no idea, Edward. Alice is nothing like the empty minded little twit models we're used to. She's brilliant and so funny. She's more than my equal, and I'm not gonna discount that just because her parents fucked fourteen years after mine did. "

"Nice," Edward grumbled, but there was no heat behind the admonishment.

"That right there is a woman who knows what she wants. For the moment, that's me, and I'm nothing but glad about that."

There was a ring to Jasper's voice that caught Edward's attention. He looked at the blond man curiously. "You like her," he realized.

For a moment, Jasper looked exactly like a young, inexperienced boy instead of world-wise, grown man. "Well, you know... It's only been a few days."

"Hey." Alice's cheerful voice interrupted them, and both men turned as she came into the kitchen. "How long does it take to get a drink?"

Before either could answer, she looked down at her phone and grinned.

"What's got you grinning?" Jasper asked, smiling at her smile.

"Oh, just Bella."

Edward's ears quirked up like a dog who'd just heard the sound of the can opener.

"She and Mike seem to be getting along great," the young woman enthused. "I don't remember the last time she's been at all interested in someone who was interested in her."

Edward gritted his teeth and opened the refrigerator again, searching for a distraction.

"Mike, huh? Who'd have thought," Jasper mused out loud. "I've never seen the appeal, really, but they were awfully cute the other day at the table." He snickered. "Imagine that? Two big ol' geeks falling in love as they scout out  _X-Files_  shooting locations. Poetical, isn't it?"

Edward slammed the door to the refrigerator door shut, storming away without a word.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Edward headed for the comfort of his room. There he set about pacing, trying to dispel the angry energy that had his teeth set on edge.

For the last two days, while Mike and Bella had been gallivanting across Vancouver, Edward had been doing everything in his power to keep from imagining what they might be doing. He'd thought for sure Bella had better taste than that generically pretty, not even very smart, blond. Mike Newton wasn't good enough for her, dammit. He wasn't-

"She doesn't like him, you know. At least, not like that."

Edward stopped cold, turning to look at Alice in the doorway.

"And you should tell her."

Before he could feign ignorance, Alice turned and walked away.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, Alice.
> 
> Thank you to my girls. What would I do without you?
> 
> And to you all. I'm so thrilled that you're enjoying the story so far. Big puffy hearts.


	5. The Whole Story

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hokay, kids. Let's do this thing.

Edward was angry; Bella could tell.

Well, no. Angry wasn't the right word for it. She'd seen him angry, seen the way his face twisted in fury. If anything, he was too calm.

He was whatever emotion he had been the day after that kiss.

That fucking kiss.

_**~Six Years Before~** _

At first, Bella couldn't comprehend what was happening.

One second she'd been furious, then she was in his arms, and before she could quite recover from that, he was kissing her.

Or had she kissed him? Her brain was muddled. She knew what she wanted - what she'd been thinking about nearly all night. Had she acted on it? She'd told Edward she hadn't drunk all that much, but alcohol was supposed to lower inhibitions.

Confused and potentially mortified, Bella ducked her head, breaking their kiss, trying to think.

But almost as soon as their kiss was broken, he put two fingers under her chin, tilting her head up and claiming her lips again. His free hand was slipping away from her waist to the small of her back, pressing her flush against him. She whimpered and forgot everything else, anything else existed.

If she'd lost her mind, so be it. He wasn't protesting or pushing her away.

Bella cupped the back of his neck and threaded her fingers through his hair. She loved how baby fine his hair was, soft between her fingers. She loved how, though she'd touched his hair so many times, it was so, so different now.

Her heart was racing. Her tummy and the blood in her veins seemed to have been replaced with bubbles. Warm ones. Maybe the kind from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. She did feel like she could float.

She felt like she could fly.

When he'd begun to walk her backward, Bella couldn't rightly say. She only knew she found herself pressed against the wall.

And then, as abruptly as it all began, it was over.

Edward made a whining noise at the back of his throat as he pushed away from her. He stumbled back. His hair was rumpled from her fingers, his lips still moist and parted.

The five seconds they stared at each other were the longest of Bella's entire life.

Then, his eyes narrowed.

_**~0~** _

Bella shook her head, trying to put a cap on the emotion that, to this day, closed her throat. It made her dizzy, remembering what happened next. Dizzy, confused, and angry. He hadn't been nice about it - not at all.

Anyone looking at his face the day after wouldn't have known anything at all happened. No one, of course, except for Bella who realized only then exactly how well she knew him. His face was too slack. He looked disinterested, but it was his apathy that gave him away. It was an excuse not to look in anyone's eyes.

And he wasn't looking at her at all.

In fact, when she'd entered the kitchen at breakfast the next morning, his body had stiffened, and he'd excused himself at the earliest opportunity.

For some reason, it seemed to be happening all again.

Then, at least she'd understood.

It had only been about twenty minutes since she'd been back home from her little jaunt through Vancouver, BC. She'd been that giddy kind of happy that only geeks knew. It was nice to talk to someone who shared one of her obsessive interests. It was like finding someone who understood something she'd never been able to put the right words to. Who could understand the love of a show, a book, a movie that made things as mundane as random hotels and hole-in-the wall joints become meccas?

So it had been nice. Fun.

But when she stepped in the house and Edward glanced up, only to look away again with that disinterested expression she'd seen six years before, her heart dropped right into her stomach.

Bella let Mike do most of the talking, contributing a few words now and again as he excitedly relayed their time together, all the sites they'd seen. Really, she was watching Edward.

Edward who was mostly looking at his camera, his face blank except when he looked up to level Mike with a judgmental expression, as if he found the blond man's enthusiasm a little pathetic.

Again, he looked at her not at all.

Mike was getting a little misty-eyed, talking about touching the things David and Gillian had when Edward finally spoke up. "You do realize it's been so many years, any trace of any DNA has long ago washed away," he pointed out. "I mean, if that were an appeal."

"Why are you raining on his parade?" Alice asked sharply. "You have a problem with him being happy?"

To Bella's surprise, Edward didn't look annoyed but rather abashed by Alice's admonishment. And Alice was giving him such an odd look. He seemed to be shrinking under it.

"It was just friendly teasing," he said easily. "I meant no offense."

"No offense taken," Mike said, waving with a little grin. "I know it might seem silly."

"Well, a little," Edward replied. Reading his face and tone, Bella knew he meant a lot.

It went back and forth like this for some time, with Edward making subtle digs at Mike. Bella had just about had it. She was about to get up, demand to know what his problem was, but as she stood, his eyes flitted briefly to hers and he cleared his throat. "Jasper, we have to set the final markers before the crew gets here."

"Right."

The two walked away, leaving Bella angry and confused.

_**~0~** _

"So you going to tell me what that incredibly mature display of passive aggressive nonsense was?" Jasper asked as they stepped outside.

Edward glanced at his friend, bristling. He felt the urge to cross his arms over his chest defensively. "Come on. It's a little ridiculous, that's all. A grown man squealing over an area a couple of actors may have been around ten years ago."

"Uh huh. You can cut the crap, Edward."

Glancing at Jasper, Edward could only hold his gaze for a second before he had to look away. A lump rose to his throat, his pulse feeling thready because he was suddenly sure Jasper knew exactly what he was really feeling.

The emotion he'd been trying to suppress with varying degrees of success hit him with the strength of an F5 tornado the second Mike and Bella walked through the door, smiling and laughing.

He was jealous. Outrageously so.

There was something primal in him making him want to bare his teeth at Mike, growl and snarl so the blond man understood he was a threat not to be trifled with.

Edward swallowed thickly, opening his camera bag, examining and rearranging the lenses. "There's nothing to talk about," he mumbled. "We need to concentrate on work."

"Right." Jasper grabbed his arm, hauling him away from his camera case and pushing him down on a bench. "How about we concentrate on this, because your emo is going off the charts right now."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You've been pouting for days, and now I'm starting to realize Alice is right as to why." Folding his arms, Jasper stared at him point blank. "You're in love with Bella." Edward opened his mouth, but his friend continued quickly. "No, don't try to deny it. I've seen you around women, Edward, and I've never seen you like this."

Edward looked off into the forest, his heart beating fast. "I have no right," he muttered finally.

Jasper grunted. "You're not going to go on about the age difference thing again, because if you are-"

"No. It's not that. Not really," Edward said quickly. "I'm sorry about yesterday. You and Alice... That wasn't what unnerved me."

"Yeah. I got that."

Edward rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "It's just complicated."

"You know you're the only one who's making it complicated, right?"

"You really don't understand," Edward said irritably.

He told his friend then about kissing her when she was sixteen, about taking advantage of a tipsy child.

"Edward, I understand why you're guilty, but a sixteen-year-old isn't a child. And you did the right thing, backing off so nothing more happened." Jasper's voice was soft, absolutely nonjudgmental. "But it's been years. She's not a little girl anymore."

"She was raised by my parents."

"She wasn't raised  _with_  you."

Edward found himself scowling. "It's more complicated than that."

"So you keep saying."

"Look, even if not for everything else..." Edward shook his head, his irritation fading to genuine regret. "She absolutely shouldn't forgive me for what I did to her."

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You're prone to exaggeration, so I can't wait to hear this."

Edward grimaced.

 

_**~Six Years Before~** _

"You should go to bed, Bella. It's late anyway." Edward knew his voice was cold, but he couldn't seem to regulate it. He was very close to panicking. What on Earth had he done?

Quickly, trying to get a hold of his spiraling thoughts and emotions, Edward turned heel and started to walk away from her toward the escape of his room. She was quick to follow though.

"Edward! Wait. Can we talk about-"

"There is nothing to talk about," he said, whirling on her.

Her eyes were so wide, she looked younger than her sixteen years. Guilt felt as thick as bile in his mouth.

"I'm just... are you mad?" she asked, her eyes searching his.

The horror he saw in her face made him want to step forward, taking her back in his arms.

Actually, what he really wanted to do was kiss her again. The thought terrified him. He needed to nip this in the bud now if not sooner.

In the heat of the moment, he overcorrected. "Listen, I don't know what you think is happening here, Bella. I'm an adult in a relationship, and you are just a child. What makes you think I want to be kissing you?"

His breath wheezed in his throat. Bella looked stricken. Everything in him screamed for him to take it back, drop to his knees and beg her forgiveness - anything to get that look off her face. What he really wanted was for things to not be so complicated.

But it was. She was sixteen, and he needed to put a nail in this coffin. Yes, it would hurt her, but better that than let her believe this could happen again.

He set his lips in a firm line, clenching his fists at his side, holding his body absolutely still lest he give in to the urge to reach for her.

It was hardest when he saw the tears well in her eyes before she hurried away, back to her room, slamming the door.

_**~0~** _

"That..." Jasper began, staring off, searching for words. "That was fucking brutal."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Edward took a deep breath.

He'd never told anyone this story.

He found he couldn't stop.

"I'm not done."

_**~Six Years Before~** _

After that weekend, when Edward came back home, he was always sure to bring Rosalie with him.

She squealed in surprise when he kissed her. At the breakfast table. In front of everyone.

"What's gotten into you?" Rosalie shook her head when they were alone in the hallway. "You're never this... voracious. And in front of your parents?"

He glanced to the side in time to catch Bella ducking behind a wall. It was only with great effort that he turned back to Rosalie with a soft smile.

"Well, in case I don't tell you enough, I'm very glad to be with a woman like you."

_**~0~** _

"You. Fucking. Prick."

Edward winced, knowing he deserved that.

"No, seriously. What kind of an asshole does that? You had to know that even the most confident teenage girl has self-image problems, especially after you called her immature. But then you rub it in her face? That would crush anyone!"

"I. Know!" Edward snapped. He rubbed his eyes.

"Jesus. It's a wonder the girl even talks to you."

"I consider myself lucky," he said dryly. After all these years, as hard as it was to stomach, he was glad that someone was giving him a dressing down. He didn't disagree with a word of what Jasper had said.

Over the years, he'd done his best to make it up to Bella in any way he could - with the bed she loved, among other things.

She'd always been his little sweetheart, and he tried to show her that hadn't changed even when he could no longer tell her. Since he laid eyes on her, he'd adored her, treated her with the utmost of tenderness. None of those things had changed. It wasn't that he felt differently. He simply felt more. There were just other feelings that had awakened that day he'd done everything so fantastically wrong. As much as he tried, as much as he told himself over and over he could only ever be what he'd always been to her - a friend and confidant - he couldn't deny there were things he wanted.

What he wouldn't give to kiss her again, just once. Maybe that was all he needed. Surely after so many years, the sweetness of that kiss, the emotion, would have dissipated, and he could finally quell the quiet ache in his heart, the space she'd unknowingly carved out.

He shrugged, pushing those heavy, wanting thoughts away. "Anyway, some good came out of it at least. If I hadn't brought Rosalie over, she wouldn't have met Emmett."

Jasper looked amused. "Only you, Edward, would think your girlfriend falling for your brother was a good thing."

"We weren't any good together. I think we both knew that," Edward said quietly. "The breakup was mutual, before anything happened with Emmett. I never loved her. And now they have a wonderful marriage and a beautiful child. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Hmm," the other man hummed. "You're right about that. I've only known the woman for a few hours total, but I can tell you'd make a horrible couple."

Edward chuffed. "You don't know the half of it. Looking back, the only way I can see it is fate  
playing a hand. She deserved to find Emmett."

"Ever the romantic. Well, that's all well and good." Jasper gave him a knowing look. "But tell me something. Truly. You are in love with this girl, aren't you."

"It doesn't matter," Edward insisted.

"Edward, you -"

"No. It's not even remotely fair for me to think about." He spread his hands wide as if imploring. "So what if she likes Mike? So what if I think she deserves so much better than him. You think it's fair that when I see she's interested in someone, I come in like I have a right? Like I didn't spend the last six years trying like hell to pretend that night didn't matter to me? It shouldn't. It shouldn't at all."

"She doesn't like Mike."

"But she could. She should have the possibility without me confusing her just because I hate... I hate..."

"You hate seeing him anywhere near her."

Edward's lips twisted in a displeased quirk. He was being obvious, and he knew it.

He wondered how much Bella had already caught.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "God, you are a melodramatic asshole. I thought you were chill when it came to women, but turns out it was just because you were wrapped up in this one." He scoffed. "Honestly, Edward? She deserves to know. Let her make her own choices. Let her decide whether or not she's forgiven you for how you hurt her."

Edward bit the inside of his cheek.

He knew Bella. She'd likely forgiven him years ago. Holding grudges wasn't among her many talents.

He was sure, though, his plan had worked all too well. How could she ever consider looking at him that way after everything?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Cheer up, kid. There's hope for you yet.
> 
> Thanks to Ginny and Shug who've been holding my hand all day today. And thanks to jfka06 and barburella and. Yeah. Thank you! Thanks for all your lovely, lovely words.


	6. The Edward Strikes Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Quick note. I want to thank all of you for still being here. *HUGS* Much love. Right now I have no schedule. I'm writing whatever wants to speak to me.
> 
> Also - for anyone who is reading my J/B story - it will be a while, I think, before I can update it again. Those reasons will probably be clear when it does update.
> 
> And yes, for the record, I was/am an X-Phile. If you want a good laugh, Google The Jedi Shipper and see what my writing looked like when I was a teenager. It's hilariously bad. Hilariously.

"Hey. Jackass."

Edward blinked, momentarily terrified that Bella had overheard his conversation with Jasper.

But there was a smile playing at her face, shy and a little uncertain. "You know, all the things you teased Mike about? I was ten times the fangirl about all that. It was a little ridiculous." She waved her arms about in example.

Ducking his head, Edward chuckled. "Should have known." He glanced up, arching an eyebrow. "Geek."

Her smile grew wider. "So... are we okay?"

"Of course." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"I don't know." She folded her arms, looking a little more irritated than uncertain now. "Seemed like you were ignoring me and being a jerk to Mike."

"I'm, err..."

"Hey, Cullen!" Jasper called, coming up. "Gotta run something by you."

Edward gave a tight smile to Bella before he turned and walked over to where his friend was standing. "What's going on?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound too relieved about the timing.

"Had a thought. Heidi and Jessica are both coming down, but I don't want to use either of them in the shoot as the bride."

"So who else do you have coming in?"

"Well, here's the thing. We need someone who's wholesomely beautiful. Brunette, not blond. Maybe with full lips and-"

"You know, I know what you're doing, right?" Edward asked, annoyed.

Jasper winked. "Admit it. She's perfect. Look at her skin! She's got naturally flawless skin. She'd look amazing in white."

Edward paused, swaying a little as the visual popped into his head. He breathed in and out through his nose slowly. "You're serious about this."

"As a heart attack."

Feeling queasy, he nodded. "From a business perspective... yes. She's exactly right for the feel we're going for. She'd be perfect." He paused. "You're still an asshole."

"Well." Jasper clapped Edward on the shoulder. "It takes one to know one."

_**~0~** _

How had Bella let herself get talked into this?

"It's the smile," Alice said with a dramatic sigh, pretending to swoon. "He might be a vampire. You know they have that ability. What's it called? Glamor. Where you get kind of hypnotized and you do whatever they tell you to?"

"First of all, vampires are fictional," Bella grumbled. "Secondly, gross. I don't want to let myself get 'glamored' into what he gets you to do."

"Believe me, B. The pleasure is all mine." Alice winked.

Bella rolled her eyes.

"So... how long before I can tease you about how you're marrying a perfect stranger not even four days after you met him? What did you naughty X-Philes do up there, hmmm?" Alice waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Didn't you once tell me Mulder and Scully didn't fuck for eight years?"

"Seven. Possibly. Anyway. The answer to your first question is never. You never get to tease me about this." She frowned. "This is not a good idea."

"Quiet you. You're doing this." She gave a little squeal. "I can't wait to see you in a wedding dress!"

Covering her face with her hands, Bella groaned.

"Bella?"

She looked up to find Edward, camera around his neck, watching her. He looked oddly anxious about something, but smiled gently as he extended his hand. Returning his smile, she took his hand, letting him tug her down the grass a bit.

"You'll be standing here for the most part," he began. With a moments hesitation, he stepped behind her, his hands on her hips.

Bella stiffened for a moment but quickly relaxed. It was incredible, how easily her body responded to his touch. He only had to apply minute pressure against her hip and she angled herself at his direction.

He cleared his throat, the sound so near her ear it sent a lovely chill down her spine. "I'll be over there," he murmured.

Standing behind her, she couldn't tell the direction he was looking in, of course. Normally, she would have jumped at the chance to tease him. But it didn't matter. She was only listening to the cadence of his voice, the music to it. It wrapped her up in a warmth that was almost physical: She could feel the heat on her skin.

She remembered being a little girl, sitting between his legs on the piano bench as he played around her clumsy hands. She giggled at the cacophony of her out of tune notes mixed with his smooth, perfect music.

In her mind, the scene shifted suddenly. She sat between his legs again, but she was grown. She kept her hands pressed to the bottom side of the piano, feeling the vibration of the music he played. Her eyes were closed, but her neck was exposed, and she could feel his lips trailing along her-

"Bella? Did you hear what I said?"

Blinking rapidly, Bella opened her eyes. "What?"

"I said you can't look at me."

For long moments, she struggled to make her mind comprehend his words. She couldn't look at him when he was behind her. "What?" she asked again.

"During the shoot, you can't look at me," he explained again patiently. She heard him swallow. "You have to look at Mike."

Bella's stomach cringed. "Mike," she repeated.

Edward's fingers tightened on her waist briefly before he let her go. He cleared his throat again, looking down at his camera rather than her. "Look at Mike. Smile. Remember this is the happiest day of your life."

Edward's words and Mike appearing suddenly at her side startled Bella. She'd forgotten everyone else was there.

"Don't worry, Bella. It's easy," Mike encouraged.

They practiced, rehearsed - Jasper and Edward directing them to turn this way or look that way. Bella couldn't quite get the hang of it.

Finally, Edward took her hand, leading her a little ways away. "Do you remember when you used to act out whole scenes from movies for me?"

Bella blushed scarlet. "I remember I threw a broom at you when we were doing the Luke/Vader fight from Return of the Jedi," she said sheepishly, smiling.

He grinned back at her. "You had quite a throw for a pipsqueak seven-year-old." He sobered, touching his fingers against her arm. "Point being, I understand the camera is a little daunting, but it's just me. Don't think about anyone else. Just smile for me."

For some reason, her heart was pounding like crazy as she looked up at him. Her body swayed, and as he looked down at her, she held her breath while she squeaked out a high pitched, "Okay."

She froze, waiting for him to call her on it.

His eyes searched hers. It might have been her imagination, but she could have sworn his breath stuttered. "Okay," he agreed, taking a step back.

Bella shook her head to clear it, feeling foolish.

What in the ever loving hell was wrong with her?

_**~0~** _

By the end of the day, everyone from the shoot had assembled for preliminary set-up sans the models. The actual shoot would be the following day, so of course it was a madhouse.

In the ensuing madness, Bella slipped away, heading upstairs to her room to be alone for a few minutes.

The silence and stillness of the room was a relief after the day she'd had. Her thoughts felt snarled up and tangled, heavy, but not in a sad way.

It was if the atmosphere, the very air, was palpable somehow. Warmer. Humid. It was never this hot in Forks, but Bella could swear she felt the air - heavy with heat - on her skin. She glanced in the mirror to find, sure enough, her face was flushed.

But she couldn't pretend it was the weather. It was not even unseasonably warm. It was as gray and drizzly as Forks always was.

Running her hands through her hair, Bella sighed. She couldn't pretend she didn't understand where the heat, and her distraction, was coming from.

After years of awkward conversations and stilted moments, Bella felt hope when he told her he'd always been her friend. On her little trip to Vancouver with Mike, she'd had the time to reorient herself, promising that she could find their friendship again.

But first he was weird when they walked in the door.

Then, in the space of a few words and a single touch, it was back again: The truth she'd spent years trying to escape? That one kiss had ruined her for other men.

Or really, she was ruined long before. What else could she be when he'd shown her exactly what life could be like? They talked endlessly, as equals - intelligent conversation that drew her in. He adored her, showering her with affection from his kind words to the gentle touches: a squeeze of her shoulders, a playful tug to her ponytail. Most of all he listened. There was nothing she couldn't tell him, and his first instinct was always to find the solution that was best for her.

Really, he was everything a woman should want in a man. How could any other man hope to compare?

When she was at school, it was easier to dismiss. Yes, sex and relationships were a huge part of the college life, but they weren't the only thing going on. She'd had plenty of other experiences, met new people. She didn't feel like she was missing anything.

But now, he was in her head again, covering her body like a second skin. In the past, she was always able to dredge up the hurt and anger she'd felt at sixteen, remind herself how stupid she'd been, and how mean he'd been in return. Now, when he was actually so close, it was difficult.

It had to be her imagination. When they stood close together, his little touches, seemed not so innocent. Not that he was touching her in a tawdry way, there was just something about the gentle way his fingers brushed her or his hands splayed at her hips. Her body's reaction, which she'd somehow controlled to this point, was to melt back against him or curl instinctively toward him.

And good God, she couldn't get other things out of her head.

Like that little daydream she'd had with the piano. It was so real, it was as though she knew what it would be like to sit with him, her back against his strong chest, his lips on her skin.

There was an ache in her, a desire that only he could fill. She was ravenous for his physical attention. She'd tasted only crumbs, mere morsels when she wanted just... everything.

Bella groaned into her hands.

Today, when she'd looked into his eyes, she could swear he was on the same page.

But then, when she was sixteen and stupid, hadn't she fooled herself for one moment into thinking the exact same thing?

Just because she'd grown up didn't mean she wasn't capable of silly thoughts, she reasoned. Yes, he was still everything he had been then. He'd been on the edge of cruel that night - the night of the kiss - but everything before and since spoke of his real character. It'd been a heated moment, and he was obviously surprised. He was still an ideal man - kind, smart, stunning.

But it didn't matter. It was a moot point. He wasn't attracted to her, could never be attracted to her.

She needed to move on.

A knock on the door drew her attention.

"Come in," she called.

Mike peeked his head around the corner. "Hey. Busy?"

"Not really," she said, trying to smile back at him.

"Well, I was thinking... Now is a great time for the X-Files movie re-watch we were talking about."

Bella's first impulse was to tell him no, but her reasoning was a little ridiculous. She wanted to mope a little more, though there was nothing to mope about.

It was better, she thought, to distract herself.

"Sure. That sounds great."

_**~0~** _

Edward sat on a quiet corner of the porch, breathing easier now that all the chaos had died down enough that he could slip away.

The Cullen house was being used as a basecamp. Right then was Jasper's time. Edward watched his friend slip into his element - directing people, putting this shoot together once and for all.

He watched, but he didn't really see. In his mind, he was imagining Bella dressed in white, her hair swept up, her cheeks pink.

Having her so close, touchably close, was difficult. This was exactly why he'd kept his distance for so long.

He turned Jasper's words over in his head, wondering what would happen if he told her what he felt for her. It didn't seem fair. He'd always had a certain position of power over her in a way. He was always the adult and she the child.

Again, as Jasper pointed out, she wasn't a child anymore.

Every adult had to eventually come to terms when a child grew up to place them on an equal level. Still, he wondered if any attraction between them could be fair.

Edward was startled when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bella come running out of the house.

She looked a little frantic, and Edward's heart began to speed, his body suddenly tensed as he looked around for any threat. She slowed, though, when she got out to the lawn as if she just realized the place was crawling with strangers. Her expression became self-conscious. She looked around, rubbing her neck, as if she were trying to find a place to hide.

Concerned, Edward stood quickly and went to her.

"Bella?"

She jumped. "Oh. H-hey."

He touched her cheek. He couldn't help it. "Are you alright?"

Her eyes froze on his, but she managed to shake her head. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just..." She grimaced, looking around. "Just finding it hard to think."

A thought occurred to him then, and he spoke on impulse. "Do you want to take a walk?" He nodded at the woods.

Her eyes were wide, the frenetic quality of them calmed for just a moment. "Um." She hesitated. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

Before they headed into the trees, Edward looked over his shoulder. No one was looking at them. He didn't know why it would matter if they were. After all, there was no illicit reasoning behind their walk.

He didn't push her to talk, though he was desperately curious about what had her on the run.

As they walked, Edward had to smile because this, though it had been missing from his life for so many years, was familiar.

He remembered when she was a little girl, her hand clutching his tightly the first time they took this walk. He remembered, the day she finally, finally accepted that her parents were gone forever, how he'd carried her, heaving and sobbing, right along this invisible path, holding her close against him. He remembered happier days when she babbled as she tried to keep his pace. When she was a child. A preteen. A teenager. All the conversations they had about everything and anything. And how he could talk to her, even when she was so young, easier than he could talk to anyone else.

Like so much else, it was different and the same.

Now, he itched to take her hand again, but not as a protector. If he took her hand now, he wondered what it would feel like. Yes, he wanted to be all the things he'd ever been - friend, protector, confidant - but he wanted, when he touched her now, those tiny movements to be a communication of something more. Tenderness. Adoration. Devotion.

He cleared his throat. "You can talk to me, you know," he said quietly.

"I know," she said, perhaps too quickly.

He glanced sideways at her. "But you won't."

"You don't want to hear it."

Pausing, he turned to her, touching her shoulder to stop her forward movement. "I'm not going to push you if you don't want to talk, but I don't think that's the problem."

For a moment she stared at him, searching his face. Then she sighed. "I just feel a little stupid right now, that's all."

"Stupid? Why?"

Looking embarrassed, she kept on walking. "Oh, God. I can't believe I'm really about to tell you this." She huffed, running her hands through her hair. "Okay. Well, Mike and I were watching The X-Files movie - the good one - in my room," she began.

Edward stiffened but caught his reaction, trying to cover it up. "Go on."

"It's really nothing. It's just that I'm so... clueless. I can never read the signs."

"What signs?"

"Well," she hedged. "He was starting to quote along with the movie. Just certain lines. And he would give me this look. I thought it was just him. He did it a bunch of times when we were in Vancouver, but..."

"But?" Edward prompted though his throat was tight. He was fairly certain he didn't want to hear what she was about to say.

"When I look back on it now, it's really obvious. It was all the... flirty quotes between Mulder and Scully he was saying." She blew out a breath slowly. "So in the movie, when it got to the point where they almost kissed..."

"He kissed you," Edward filled in the blank, his tone flat.

She glanced at him. Edward was careful to keep his irrational anger off his face.

"Yeah. And I didn't..." She covered her face, groaning. "I just didn't know how to react. I made a silly excuse and got out of there."

Edward wanted to cheer.

"So Mike's attraction is one-sided?"

"Very." Bella crossed her arms.

Edward allowed himself a snicker. "He tried to seduce you with X-Files quotes."

"Well, that was kind of cute." She gave him a look. "Geek, remember, as stupid as you think that is."

"I don't think it's stupid. It just seems to me there's a lack of originality there," he defended. "If he needs someone else's words-"

"But it's not like that. For geeks, it means something more. It... ugh." She waved her hands. "Never mind. It's a geek thing."

They walked a little further, Edward trying to put together his thoughts before he spoke again. He understood what she was trying to say. Mike understood a part of her Edward perhaps never could.

The thought made his stomach clench.

"Well, anyway. It's just as well. You could do a lot better than Mike for sure."

Bella stopped so suddenly, Edward actually went on for a few more steps before he turned around.

She looked angry.

"What?" he asked, bewildered.

"It's nothing." She started walking again, faster than before.

Truly confused, Edward darted after her. "No. It's obviously not nothing."

She spun on him. "Who is good enough for me?"

Edward blinked at her.

"It's just that you always have an opinion, don't you, about the guys who might be interested in me? So please, why don't you tell me who is good enough. Where can I find this guy?"

"Bella." He held his hands up in a placating motion. "I didn't mean any harm. It's just that I've known Mike for a long time. He could never be as smart as you. I just don't think he's a good match either." He narrowed his eyes, still a little confused. "And neither did you, so I'm not sure what the problem is."

Exasperated, she sighed. "Ugh! You make this so difficult sometimes."

A truly random, truly insane thought occurred to him just then, and he was speaking before he could realize what he was about to do.

"I do. I really do," he murmured, his eyes intent on her. "You could be a lot nicer though."

She froze, sucking in a deep breath.

Edward's heart was pounding. Hard. "Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I'm alright."

The ball was in her court. He could see by the way her chest rose and fell rapidly she knew it.

"Occasionally." Her voice was shaky and thin. "Maybe. When you aren't acting like a scoundrel."

A strange hope spread through his bloodstream. The air around them seemed alive. "A scoundrel?" He took her hands in his, pulling her a little closer to him. "I like the sound of that."

"Stop that," she said, still breathy. But she was smiling. God, that glorious smile. She knew exactly where this was going.

"Stop what?" His voice was husky as he played along, he stepped closer to her.

"My hands are dirty."

"My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?" They were inches from each other now, so close her clothes brushed his body. Her head was tilted up. It would take nothing to sweep down and kiss her. It was all he wanted.

"Afraid?" Her tone was anything but as her eyes briefly flitted down to his lips.

"You're trembling." She was, too. She was almost vibrating.

She shook her head.

"You like me," he accused, "because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."

Smirking, she loosed her hands from his, finding purchase with her fingers on his back. It felt delicious. "I happen to like-"

He was done with this game, his want for her too acute. He couldn't wait any longer - not even to finish the few lines that would complete the scene. He closed the distance between them, his hands winding around her as he pulled her flush against his body and interrupted her with his kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Soooooo yeah.
> 
> For those of you who don't realize, they are quoting a scene from The Empire Strikes Back - Han and Leia's first kiss.
> 
> Thanks to all of you for all your pretty words and to GinnyW and Barburella for being all up in mah docs.


	7. Dizzy MerryGoRound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter ... we wrestled. Let me tell you. Thank you all so much for all your support and kind words. I appreciate them. Your reviews make me smile... even when you want to slap Edward very hard. heh.

There was no scenario in which what was happening made any sort of rational sense. And yet...

In any of her dreams, awake or asleep, his kiss had never felt like this. As often as she dredged the scene up, remembering what it felt like to have his lips moving with hers, memories could never be but shadow: slightly misshapen and without definition.

There were a hundred thousand nuances, both emotional and visceral. His lips were gentle yet commanding, his hands on her body tender yet possessive. This was probably the only place she felt as shy and inexperienced as the sixteen-year-old girl she'd once been, but she had no room to be self-conscious when she was too busy trying to keep herself on the ground. Logically, she knew somewhere in the back of her mind, it was impossible to fly or explode with the joy she felt, but her thoughts weren't concrete enough to remember.

What an entirely futile thought it had been: that she could exist in the same space as Edward and not want exactly this.

Or more.

Bella ducked her head, breaking their kiss, gasping for breath. The back of his shirt was twisted in her fingers. Their bodies rose and fell together, adding to the soft sound of the wind through the trees and the peaceful music of the forest.

Bella's thoughts were anything but peaceful.

"Are you okay?" His tone was concerned and so tender.

"Uh, yeah." She was lying.

She felt his fingers against the line of her chin, coaxing. "Why are your eyes closed?"

For a moment, she wished she was someone else. Someone who knew the right thing to say. There were rules to this game, weren't there? There were things she absolutely wasn't supposed to say.

What would Alice do?

But this was Edward. No matter what, even when things were awkward between them, Edward was the one person she never hid from. No matter what was bothering her, he would, unerringly, understand. Part of her needed reassurance that relationship still existed, but that part warred with the woman who really wanted to believe there was a remote possibility this could exist outside of the few minute bubble they had.

"I'm just... I'm waiting for it all to go to hell... again," she finally admitted.

Her body jerked with his as he inhaled sharply. His hands on her shoulders, he took a step back.

Bella's heart plummeted to the forest floor.

"I shouldn't have done that," he muttered.

Her stomach twisted into a knot so tight, she couldn't have thrown up as much as she wanted to. She stumbled backward, anger and horror twisting her tongue.

"Oh, God. Bella. No. I didn't-" He put his hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away. "I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"You kissed me," she accused hotly, sure of it this time.

"I know." He sighed, and tried to reach for her again. Again, she stepped backward as if his touch might burn as badly as his hasty words. "I mean, I shouldn't have done it just like that." He was speaking quickly, stumbling over his words, obviously flustered. "I mean, it wasn't... I didn't..."

Bella smirked before she could help it. Edward never stumbled like this. He was always so self-possessed.

He swallowed hard. "It was just something I should have thought through more, and-"

"Edward," she interrupted him, stepping forward, putting her hand over his mouth. She pressed her lips together, feeling like laughing but unsure if that was rude or if this was as funny as she suddenly thought it was. "It kind of throws off the romance of the moment if you plan a kiss, I think."

His eyebrows quirked up, amusement overtaking the anxiety in his eyes. He reached up, wrapping his fingers around her wrist one by one. He kissed her palm before he drew her hands down between them.

Bella's heart began to pound like she was running laps again. Her stomach untwisted, letting the butterflies loose. "So you meant it." She was proud of the way her voice hardly shook when she spoke.

He cupped her cheek with his free hand. "Yes," he whispered, tilting her head up to kiss her again sweetly. "You have no idea how much I wanted to."

He kissed her a third time before he sighed. "Bella, I don't even know where to start here."

"I have a suggestion." Her voice was breathy, and her head was still spinning.

His lips brushed hers. "What's that?"

She kissed him harder once, very briefly. "Stop kissing me."

He blinked sporadically, looking as confused as she felt. "O-okay."

It was the last thing she wanted, but Bella untangled herself from his arms, pushing him away. She took a deep breath, crossing her arms over her chest. She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're giving me whiplash, you realize that?"

"Bella-"

She held up a hand, thoughts coming to her more steadily now that she was a small distance away from him. "I mean, where is this coming from all of a sudden? I thought... I mean after I..."

Looking distinctly self conscious, Edward rubbed his neck. "This isn't sudden," he said in a small voice.

The air became too thin to breathe. "What?"

"My wanting to kiss you... it's not sudden."

Bella chuffed. "But when... I mean. We've hardly spoken for six years. We've hardly seen each other since..." Her eyes went wide, shooting to his.

This is what she'd wanted since she was sixteen years old. She'd never stopped wanting it.

"Since then?"

Edward looked guilty and miserable.

"But... You said... You did..."

"What was I supposed to do?" he asked, as if begging. "It wasn't right, what I did to you then."

"What are you talking about?"

"I took advantage of you, and I can't tell you how sorry I am."

For the second time in just a few minutes, the world was tangled up and spinning again. "For what? I mean, you were really,  _really_... not so nice about it, but I kissed you, and-"

"You didn't." He tilted his head, reaching forward tentatively to take her hand. "Bella, I kissed you. Several times, in fact. You never kissed me. I kissed you, and I had no right."

Bella yanked her hand back. "But you said-"

"What I said was a lie, but I didn't know what to do. I panicked, and I've regretted the way I handled the situation for all these years."

"I..." Bella couldn't think at all. "I need to go." Without waiting for his answer, she turned on her heel, heading back toward the house as quickly as her feet could carry her.

She ignored Edward calling her name behind her.

_**~0~** _

Bella had disappeared to her room for the rest of the night.

Not knowing what else to do but honor her request to leave her alone, Edward waited anxiously for someone to notice her absence. Annoyingly, Mike was the first, and second, and third.

When he was looking upstairs for a fourth time, Edward called his name, offering him a beer and steering him out back toward the porch where they sat on the steps.

Mike wasn't a difficult guy to figure out. Edward grudgingly had to admit to himself the man was genuine and even sweet to a degree. It didn't take much prying to get him to talk about his problems with Bella.

"I thought we were clicking, you know?" the blond man sighed, looking not unlike a sad puppy.

Edward cleared his throat. "Well, it's one thing to click as, er... kindred spirits." His heart gave a displeased lurch. Jealous as he was, he didn't want Bella to have any connection to a man who had a romantic interest in her. "It takes more than that for attraction sometimes."

"Yeah." Looking forlorn, Mike tilted back his beer. "She's sophisticated. Smart." He growled slightly, ruffling his hair. "I really put the nail in the coffin by using cheesy lines to flirt with her, didn't I?"

Suddenly even more guilty than usual, Edward looked down at his beer with great interest. "Um, maybe," he said vaguely.

"She's way too smart to fall for something so utterly lame."

"That might be it." Edward pulled his collar away from his neck feeling uncomfortable.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Too bad," Mike said with a sigh. "Seems like she'd be a good kisser."

Edward's fist tightened around his beer bottle. Noticing his irritation, Mike was quick to apologize.

"Hey, man. Sorry. I forget she's your sister." He held his hands out, beer still tucked between two of his fingers, in a peacemaking gesture. "No worries. Message received. If she's not interested, I'm not going to push."

"Um, yeah," Edward said shortly, needing this conversation to be over.

Luckily for his sanity, Mike finished his beer, stumbled to his feet, and declared his intention to go to his room for the night.

Edward continued to stare out over the open lawn into the darkness of the forest, replaying that evening's events over and over in his head. He wasn't alone on the porch for long before the back door opened again.  
It was a few moments before he became aware of a presence looming over him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he tilted his head to find Alice towering above him. For a girl who was five foot nothing, the look she was giving him made him feel about three inches tall.

"I don't know what you did, but you're an asshole," she declared, crossing her arms and glaring.

He swallowed hard - guilt was a thick emotion that seemed to settle right in his throat and sit like lead in his stomach - but forced himself to look at her steadily. "Is she okay?" he asked softly, not bothering to refute Alice's claim.

The raven-haired woman huffed. "Your guess is as good as mine. She said she was fine."

Edward huffed. "That could mean anything from the truth to she's having a complete nervous breakdown," he mused.

Alice tilted her head, her ire fading into curiosity. "You do know her, don't you?"

"Of course," he murmured. He knew her. He knew she was hurt and confused. He knew well enough that though he was desperate to knock on her door, beg her forgiveness, promise to never talk to her again if that's what she wanted, what she  _needed_ was his silence and a little space.

Bella's friend was silent for a long while before she spoke. "I have to admit, it's bugging the hell out of me that there's this huge part of her I knew absolutely nothing about." She sounded grumpy about this fact. "But I'm starting to get the idea that whatever's going on between you didn't just start up the last few days."

Edward was silent. Nervousness was beginning to make his skin crawl. He was damn sure he didn't want other people figuring out what was going on between him and Bella, at least not before he could figure it out himself. It was bad enough that Jasper knew.

Alice snorted. "You guys get that same look, you know," she grumbled.

"What look?"

"That look where your brows are all creased and you're most definitely overthinking something? Bella does it too." Her smile was more gentle. "I don't need to tell you what Bella's worth."

 _Everything_ , Edward thought instantly. "No, you don't need to tell me." He looked down at his hands, his heart aching. There were so many reasons he didn't deserve her.

"Oh, God," Alice mumbled. "You two are both hopeless."

The night wore on and soon the house was silent. Edward stayed downstairs, pretending to watch television but really seeing nothing. It was a long while before he managed to convince himself he had to at least try to sleep. After all, he had a job to do the next day.

He trudged up the stairs feeling every minute of his nearly 37 years and perhaps an additional forty. In the hallway, a delighted giggle made him pause. He listened for a moment, hearing Jasper's familiar deep cadence mixed with Alice's tinkling laughter.

Walking on, Edward felt a wave of envy and irritation.

If Bella was any other girl, would he be feeling this guilty about wanting to pursue her? Obviously Jasper had no problem dating a woman fourteen years his junior.

Edward supposed if he was only thinking about himself, the only problem he'd have with any other twenty-two year old woman would be the worry she would be annoyingly immature. But Edward knew Bella better than that. She, like anyone, had her moments, but she'd been more capable of intelligent conversation and debate since she was very young. Even at six, her conversation was a thousand times more fascinating than most adults Edward knew.

But there was the rub. Bella wasn't another girl, and Edward had always been protective of her. He might have considered dating a twenty-two year old woman, but if Bella had ever tried to date a nearly forty year-old man, he wouldn't have been pleased.

It wasn't such a huge gap, he knew. It wasn't as though he was a senior citizen. But their lives were in such different places. She was just starting out while he was well past the point where most people had settled down with wives, kids, and mortgages.

He did want those things so many of his colleagues had.

Edward shook those thoughts away. He'd long ago convinced himself it would never happen for him, and that was fine.

Tonight, though, that thought made the ache in his heart deepen. How quickly he'd let himself consider the glimmer of a possibility he could have a future with Bella. It had happened in the blink of an eye, in the space of yet another ill-timed kiss.

So many years he spent trying to convince himself he shouldn't want this - not with her. Really, though, it had only ever been her.

It was a moot point, though. He'd probably screwed it all up tonight.

Edward paused again, hesitating outside Bella's door. Her light was still on.

He splayed his hand against the wood, his heart pounding hard and his lungs feeling tight. There was a franticness that hadn't left him since she all but ran away from him, out of the woods. Right afterward, his thoughts had left him scrambling because what if he'd ruined everything? What if he'd destroyed any chance they had to even be friends?

Now that he was so close, Edward found he had to know.

He waffled only a moment before he knocked.

There was a long pause, and he thought she'd either fallen asleep with the light on or was ignoring him, but finally he heard the floorboards creak as she walked across the room. With every step, his heart beat harder, almost painfully against his chest.

She seemed unsurprised to see him; her eyes were wary, not shocked. The air was tense, static, heavy but after a few moments, she stepped to the side, admitting him. Edward felt like he could breathe just a little easier.

The silence between them wasn't the most awkward Edward had ever been in, but it wasn't comfortable. He wished he knew the right thing to say. It felt absurdly like she could crush him in the palm of her hand, and the feeling left him disconcerted. In all other areas of his life, he was calm and collected. With Bella? It hadn't been that way since the night everything changed between them. Even when he saw her on Skype or talked to her on GTalk, he was so twisted around he felt like an idiotic schoolboy again.

If anything, she was the more self-possessed one, or at least she had been since the night of her prom. She could have thrown fits. In fact he had to admit he'd been afraid for a heartbeat that she would, and that everyone would know what a pervert he was. But she'd been, if anything, even more of an adult about it than he was.

So in the end, he opened with a question she'd asked him so many times before, when she was grappling with whatever issue. "Tell me what to do, Bella. I'm lost." His voice was soft as hers had ever been, just a whisper.

Tentative, so cautious, she reached out, hooking just one finger around his and tugging him gently.

It was amazing how much he thrilled at her simple touch, but he knew it was significant. This wasn't a friendly gesture, but something a little more serious.

He let her lead him to the bed and sat beside her, allowing some space between them though he wanted badly to take her in his arms. She was staring intently down at the space between them and began to trace her finger along his upturned palm.

Edward closed his eyes, shivering with pleasure.

"The things I said to you-" he began, but she cut him off.

"I got over the things you said to me a long time ago." She folded and unfolded his fingers one at a time. "It was... mean, what you said. Cruel even. But you've never been cruel to me before or since, so I forgave that a long time ago."

She hesitated. "It's just hard, Edward, because in a sense, my whole reality has changed. I thought it was me who freaked you out. All these years, it's been my biggest regret that one stupid act destroyed the most important relationship in my life."

Edward felt all at once breathless. "You blamed yourself for what happened?"

"What else could I do? I'd been thinking all night about kissing you, I was tipsy, then we were kissing and you were really angry with me."

"But you didn't kiss me."

"Everything happened so fast." Her voice was heavy with regret. "And then there were your words in my head, telling me what a silly child I was."

Edward's thoughts were chaotic and damning. "If I had known..." He shook his head, his mouth tightening in a thin line. "That's no excuse. It was my responsibility to talk to you."

"Yes," she agreed.

It was a comfort to him that she hadn't stopped playing with his fingers.

"I am sorry. It's no excuse, but I couldn't..." He gulped feeling perverted and wrong and completely unable to explain himself.

"It freaked you out that you were a thirty year old man with feelings for a teenager?" she suggested gently.

The lump in his throat was too thick to talk around, and he couldn't look at her as he nodded. He kept his eyes focused on their fingers, wanting with everything in him to curl his around hers. He stayed still because the fact she was still touching him was a gift he wasn't prepared to let go of yet.

As he watched, she drew the pad of her finger in slow circles around his palm. "I can understand that." Another deep breath. "But I'm not a teenager now."

He chanced a glance up, finding her eyes on him.

"Past aside. Edward, if I were anyone else... If you felt this way for anyone else, what would you do?"

Her eyes were so wide and innocent, he couldn't help but remember the girl she was when they first met. The girl he'd adored and cherished. Unable to resist, he brushed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. "I couldn't feel this way for anyone else," he admitted in a whisper.

He didn't know what else to say.

His attraction for her was not in any way straightforward or simple. It was snarled with so many other issues and confusing thoughts because she'd always been so precious to him - the sweet little girl with the soft, sad eyes.

"Do you think of me as your sister?" she asked, her voice thin like she dreaded the answer.

"No," his answer was instant, and he shook his head to reiterate the point. He tilted his head, looking away from her but smiling softly. She occupied a totally unique space in his heart; she always had.

"It was always easy to see Emmett as my brother," Bella mused. "But not you. Never you. You were just... my Edward."

Edward turned the idea of that over in his head. It was as adequate a description as any. Somehow, the idea he'd always been hers as she'd always been his - by whatever definition - seemed right somehow.

But maybe that was always the problem. They needed definitions now, if they were ever going to figure out what they wanted to be to each other, what they could be.

He was afraid to ask her what she wanted them to be. Frankly, he was afraid to ask himself.

And they'd been staring at each other for too long.

When Bella closed her eyes, she did so with a sigh. Her fingers stopped making patterns on his palm and gripped his fingers instead, squeezing tightly.

"Well." Her voice was remarkably steady as she spoke. "Just promise me you won't run away this time."

"I don't make the same mistake twice," he said quietly.

She opened her eyes, studying his again. Then, as if on impulse, she came forward, brushing her lips once against his. Before he could react or respond, she pulled back again, letting go of his hand and standing.

"Then I guess we have to wait and see what tomorrow brings."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Y'all. Seriously. Between jfka06 and barburella my docs are INSANE. I love it. I love them.
> 
> So this little story is up for fic of the week at tehlemonadestand dot net. Thank you for that. I'm so glad you're with me on this little journey.
> 
> PS: I am amused. Edward doesn't make the same mistake twice but, as jfka06 says, he sure does figure out how to make new ones. True fact is true, y'all.


	8. Beginning of Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love you guys. Srsly. Special shout out to Mina Rivera who made me SUCH a pretty banner for this and for Antagonize Me. I'm gonna beg Barburella to put it on AO3. I FLOVE fan banners. Love love love
> 
>   
> [](http://s118.photobucket.com/albums/o82/lyricalkris/Twilight%20Fanfic%20Stuff/?action=view&current=JaNCover.png)  
> 

Watching a tiny girl's world crash and tumble down around her was one of the most heartbreaking sights the Earth could conjure up.

That day in the forest when she was six, Edward had sat Bella up on a stump that seemed to him the perfect fairy throne. He talked to her of fairy tales while she sat in silence, taking it all in.

Then her lower lip began to tremble, and she looked at him with big doe eyes so full of tears, Edward very nearly started crying himself right then and there.

She asked him if it was all real, and he had to tell her it was.

She asked him why, and he had to tell her there was no good reason the world had chosen to steal her father and mother away from her. Sometimes there were no answers - even for adults.

She was so brave, breathing through little gasps to keep from crying.

When she finally did break down, all he could do was hold her and promised foolishly that he wouldn't ever leave her. Edward remembered with absolute clarity how her tiny body shook in his arms, and he swore she would never know pain again if he could help it.

It had been a foolish thought to begin with. Part of the contract of a human life came with the guarantee of being hurt. Still, it made him completely wretched to understand how deep he'd wounded her. Of course he was the most important person in her world once. He'd let her believe she'd lost that relationship, lost him, because he couldn't keep himself together.

He'd tried. Goodness how he'd tried.

But every time he tried to regain that old simpatico between them, some little thought would creep into his mind. Innocent small talk on Gtalk would turn into conversation, and he would find himself caught up in her thought process, smiling before he realized he was doing it. If they were on Skype, he would get distracted by little things like the way her hands moved up the line of her neck when she absently swept her hair up into a ponytail while she spoke of quadratic equations. He would watch her purse her lips in thought and feel the urge to kiss the light pout, could imagine perfectly the plump feel of her lower lip between his.

It was worse when they were face to face, even in the same household. When she'd become so endlessly fascinating he had no idea, but he was obsessed. When they were in the same place, it was all he could do not to touch her. It was incredible how strong the urge was, the million ways he could think to touch her.

She was 16, 17, 18, and she haunted him. It was utterly ridiculous how one kiss had changed absolutely everything. He hadn't seen her this way before; why was he suddenly so consumed? And he was. He was terribly jealous because Emmett still had the right to make her laugh. He wanted to be the one to earn her pretty smiles, but he couldn't deny how close he was to snapping every time he was near her.

None of his idle fantasies, desires were rational or acceptable. Innocent as it had been, if anyone else -  _anyone_ else - had seen the kisses they shared, there would be hell to pay and rightfully so.

And the things he suddenly wanted to do with her were far from innocent.

It was years of conditioning, of slapping down his base urges, his desire, his attraction to this girl-woman, that brought him to this point. It still felt wrong to think of her that way, to feel for her something deeper than the friendship they'd once shared, something more.

For all that, as conditioned as he was to feel guilty and wrong about wanting her, his will had snapped the second he was alone with her, hadn't it? He'd been revelling in his relief that Mike had been unsuccessful with her, and then she'd been all riled up, calling him on his bullshit.

She was fierce, his Bella.

He'd fed her someone else's lines because he knew she would like it, he'd kissed her and it felt like he was taking a deep breath for the first time in years.

In the darkness of his room, Edward dug his fists into his eyes. He couldn't sleep. It was as though his entire body was aware Bella was just down the hallway, and at the very least she wasn't pushing him away, despite the heavy, flustering fog that was making it difficult to concentrate on anything else. In his imagination, he strode into her room, climbed into her bed and pinned her body underneath his. When the house creaked, he imagined she was in the hallway and she would come in, straddle his hips and press her lips to his.

As hot as the summer wasn't in Forks, Edward's room felt humid. Rubbing his eyes again, he tossed the blankets away from him and gave up, staring at the ceiling instead of pretending he could sleep.

One way or another, the next day was going to be interesting to say the least.

_**~0~** _

"Wake up!"

Bella came awake with a start, blinking at being plunged into the sudden light of the room.

"Why are you still asleep?!"

Alice.

Bella closed her eyes again, trying to reorient herself. She'd slept only fitfully, waking up between dreams that were so real, she was surprised to find she was alone in her bed. She could swear she knew what it felt like to have the scruff of Edward's stubbled chin against her neck.

"Bella, what's a matter with you? Are you sick? You look a little feverish." Walking over, Alice put her hand to Bella's cheek. Bella flinched away, self-conscious.

"I'm fine, Alice." To get away from her friend, Bella rolled to the opposite side of the bed, letting her legs dangle over the side.

"You didn't sleep at all, did you."

"Not really."

"You must be so excited! After today, you can say you've been a model, Bella!" Alice sounded about as giddy as a kid in a candy store. At Disneyland. Being escorted by Mickey Mouse himself.

Bella's stomach twisted, and she frowned. She hadn't thought about the shoot at all until that moment, too preoccupied with Edward.

Edward who was the photographer of the shoot.

Yesterday she'd felt a connection between them. Smile for him, he'd told her, and imagining how he might see her in his lens, she had. Just for him.

"Give me a second, okay, Alice?" Bella begged quickly. Before her friend could protest, she shot out the door and headed down the stairs to the second floor.

It felt oddly like she was sneaking around, the way her eyes darted back and forth. She nearly jumped right out of her skin when she entered the master bedroom only to run headlong into Carlisle.

"Good morning," he said with his usual easy smile, either not noticing how jumpy Bella was or chalking it up to nerves. "How are you feeling about today?"

"Uh..." That was a loaded question for too many reasons. "I just came in here to get something," she said instead, grimacing internally at how lame she sounded.

But Carlisle didn't press the issue. He made a clucking sound with his tongue and ducked his head. "Well, I'm sorry I have to be out today. It feels wrong for a father to miss his daughter's wedding, even if it is fake." He laughed. Bella felt a little queasy, mostly because she couldn't help but wonder what Carlisle would say if he ended up walking his daughter down the aisle, giving her away to his son.

Kissing her cheek, Carlisle wished her luck and left her alone.

Bella sunk down on Esme and Carlisle's bed feeling scattered. Where on earth had that last thought come from? A smattering of kisses, and she already had thoughts of marriage? But the images in her head were chaotic, restless, not settling even for a moment. She knew what she wanted. Now that there was some semblance of a chance she and Edward could be more than they'd ever been, she wanted it badly.

But what did it look like?

If she was being honest with herself, Bella had come in this room for one specific purpose.

What Bella had always understood about Edward was that he captured a person's innermost thoughts with his camera. He saw them, really and truly. It couldn't be denied when she looked at his pictures.

Esme kept a whole wall of their bedroom dedicated to pictures of her family. Some of them were posed - shot by professionals - but far and away, Bella's favorites were the ones Edward had taken of the rest of the family.

When Edward captured Emmett, it wasn't only the large man's signature silliness, his playful nature that came out in the photo. Of course, Emmett's smile was always the broadest, but Edward's picture of him also brought out the kindness in his eyes. In one picture, where he stood with his arms around Rosalie, obviously whispering in her ear, his stance was protective, shielding her even though he seemed to take nothing seriously.

Posed photographs of Carlisle typically showed only a very handsome man with a beautiful smile. Edward's images showed how much more he was than a pretty face. There was a seriousness to his expression even when he was smiling. But most of all, in pictures where Edward had caught Carlisle watching his family, there was a deep love and adoration of his brood, an emotion few men would ever let themselves experience let alone show to others.

Edward had caught a rare side of his mother in one of the photographs he'd taken of her. Of course he'd captured her kindness, her unending love for her husband and children, but in one particular photo, he'd caught a secret part of her. This was a grown woman whose eyes were lit up, who'd seen and experienced so much pain, but still believed in magic and the existence of fairy tales and true love.

And then there were the smattering of pictures of her.

It had taken Bella years to figure out why she actually liked the pictures Edward took of her. In other images she looked shy, unobtrusive - willing to blend into the background. But it was very clear that Edward had never seen that version of her. In his images, from when she was a little girl until she was a teenager, he always caught her in a moment of complete confidence. A picture of her as a child showed her in a moment of play, caught up in a fantasy where she was the super hero. At thirteen, he caught her smirk, as if she found the whole world just a little silly.

This was how he saw her.

Not the demure, shy little girl she was, but the person she'd always felt like she  _should_ be.

She couldn't help but wonder what his camera would show, how he saw her now.

_**~0~** _

Jasper had this to say to Edward:

"Motherfucker, I don't know what you did, but if we have a sobbing bride instead of a blushing bride today, you're a dead man."

The first day of a shoot was always stressful, so Edward merely rolled his eyes.

He couldn't deny he was anxious to see her, though he sincerely doubted she would be crying. At least, he hoped that wasn't the case. She'd seemed calm enough the night before.

As for himself, Edward didn't quite know what he was supposed to be feeling. He had the feeling today wouldn't be easy for him, but he couldn't put his finger on why. Really, any interaction with Bella while there were so many people around was probably going to be a little tense.

What was clear to him yesterday, though he tried not to admit it, was that his relationship with Bella was in a state of evolution. He couldn't go back to where they'd been, whatever they'd been before. The only thing he could do was roll with the punches until they could figure out what they were supposed to be.

Edward glanced over to where Mike emerged from the house looking smart in his tuxedo.

Today, rolling with the punches meant he was going to have to watch Bella 'marry' Mike.

"Hey, Bro. Did you partake of the truly wicked breakfast spread they got going on in there? Damn."

Edward started, looking up to find his older brother coming at him, a Nutella - laden croissant in one hand and his two-year-old son Henry tucked under his other arm. "Emmett, what are you doing here?"

"Come on. It's not everyday your little sister gets married, huh?" He waggled his eyebrows, suggesting he was really here to give Bella a hard time, as a proper big brother would.

Of course his brother and mother were going to be around today. Edward's thoughts were wry. He was barely grappling with how he felt by himself. He didn't know if he was ready to think about what his family would have to say if he and Bella were to take things any further than they already had.

It was all a mess, all of it.

He didn't even know what her plans were, he realized, what she intended to do now that she'd graduated. He knew she was taking at least through the summer at home in Forks, but after that?

Edward shook his head quickly to stop his thoughts from flying off the handle. One thing at a time. He wasn't sure of anything except that he wanted to kiss Bella again. Soon. He wanted to kiss her and not feel guilty for doing it.

That would be a nice change.

_**~0~** _

"It's just fucked up! They bring us, two insanely hot chicks, all the way over to Bum Fucked Nowhere to play bridesmaid to Plain Jane McGee? Why, just because she's Edward's sister?"

Bella bristled, horrified as she felt her face heat as she turned away so the models couldn't see her.

Jasper and Edward had already assured her they wouldn't stake their professional reputation if they weren't sure, so Bella tried not to let it get to her. Still, she felt foolish as the shoot began.

The more Edward had to call out instructions to her, the more flustered she got. She felt horrible, knowing they were likely wasting film and knowing she was wasting their precious time.

"Let's take fifteen, people," Edward called, beckoning Bella to follow him a ways off.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly, bending his head close.

It did nothing for her concentration that his lips were so close. It wouldn't take much, just a tilt of her head and they would be kissing again. For a moment, she was mesmerized, frozen because his presence made her thoughts scurry away but there were too many people around for her to be able to do what she wanted. And he'd asked her a question.

"I'm sorry." She exhaled on a gust, wondering with some part of her if he was feeling what she was at all. "I'm not trying to be a nuisance. I just don't know what I'm doing. I'm not a model, Edward. I shouldn't be here. Those girls are right, I-"

"Those girls?" he interrupted, raising his eyebrow. "You mean Heidi and Jessica?" he nodded to where the two in question were standing, hands on their hips, watching with obviously disgusted expressions.

Bella looked down at the ground. "They have a point. I'm a math major. What business do I have trying to pull this off? I mean, give me a break. They're models because they can make anything look good, right?"

For a long moment, Edward just stared at her, his expression one of complete incredulity. He gave a small laugh. "You really have no idea, do you?" he muttered.

"What are you talking about?"

Rather than answer, he took her by the arm, leading her through the chaos of the milling crowd. He pulled her into one of the trailers, thankfully empty now that all the costumes were on and makeup done. "Have you seen yourself at all today?"

When they were doing her hair and makeup, Bella had been careful to look down, feeling ridiculous and out of place. She had not seen herself. But now, Edward came to stand behind her, his hands on her shoulders, directing her forward until she stood in front of a full length mirror.

A dark haired beauty blinked back at her, all perfectly pink lips, cream and roses skin, and deep brown eyes stared back at her. She looked elegant, stunning.

"You see?" He hesitated a moment but his hands slipped from her shoulders. Even through the gauze of the dress, his fingers brushed electric heat where they ran down her arm. His breath became a wispy thing when he rested his palms on either side of her waist, and she watched in the mirror as he closed his eyes tight. "You are so beautiful today, Bella. So perfectly exquisite, and so real. No model could recreate this, you."

When his eyes opened again something had changed. The reflection shifted, and suddenly, she wasn't looking at herself or him, she was seeing them.

Edward's arms slipped around her, his touch possessive rather than merely tentative. Bella leaned back instinctively, and his arms around her tightened. With trembling fingers, she brought her hands to rest over his. He exhaled shakily, resting his cheek against her head. "Bella," he whispered, and Bella's whole body seemed to resonate with the word, a tuning fork being struck.

They were beautiful, this couple in the mirror.

She'd never wanted to make anything a reality more than she wanted this. Them. Natural.

They looked like they belonged together.

"Hey!"

Edward and Bella jumped apart, guilty. Jasper was leaning in the trailer looking harried but bemused.

"Not in my dress, got it?" Shaking his head, Jasper took off again.

In the silence that suddenly engulfed the trailer, Bella looked up very slowly, mentally preparing herself for his pinched face.

She didn't see it. Instead, his mouth was turned up in a half smile. Her breath caught as he reached out, drawing his fingers carefully, oh so tenderly down her cheek.

"Come on, pretty girl. Let's go. Work before play."

He winked at her before they stepped back out to face the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to Barburella and GinnyW. Part 2 of the day... I think you will like, my lovelies.
> 
> See you soon.
> 
> OH! If you're a fan of angst I REALLY, STRONGLY recommend you get on the Wisp train. It's a heartbreaking story, but my God. So tender.


	9. Slow Burn Fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You... you... you... you all are lovely. MWAH.

There was a marked change in Bella after they left the trailer, getting back to work.

He'd been completely enraptured by her from the moment she stepped out of the trailer in full costume. The sight of her robbed him of oxygen entirely. Everything about her was reticent - her body language and the look on her face: uncertain but also a little excited. Everything in her face spoke of her youth, her innocence, and yet the way her dress hugged her curves, the way she held herself told the story of a woman.

Jealousy closed off his airway, making it difficult to see straight when Mike reached for her hand. Ridiculous though it was - he knew damn well this event was fake - he didn't want to see her smile at anyone else, didn't want to see her dressed like this for anyone else. Part of him had been glad when it didn't come easy to her.

When they got back to the set, everything was different. There was a tint to Bella's cheeks that hadn't been there before, a brightness to her eyes.

The images he captured that afternoon told the story of a woman in love, happy. Her future held only amazing things, an amazing life she would share with the man she was giving herself over to.

She was the reason he took photographs: to capture life's most awe-inspiring sights and moments, to capture the essence of the human soul.

He couldn't be jealous anymore because he knew damn well where her thoughts were even as she was looking at Mike, smiling at Mike.

She was looking at Mike, but her smile for no one but Edward.

His body vibrated with this inherent knowledge. Despite all the people milling about, despite the fact his mouth kept moving, directing the scene in front of him, it seemed to Edward they were somewhere else entirely. It was intense, how intimate their conversation was. They were so in tune, it seemed Bella moved before he finished his request. Turn. Duck your head a little. Look up and smile.

It was as if she knew how he wanted to see her.

When they called it for the day, Bella's eyes momentarily held his and it was all Edward could do to stop himself from moving to her, taking her in his arms and kissing her as he'd ached to do all day.

As though she could hear his thoughts, she looked down and then up again from under her lashes, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, coy and inviting.

Edward licked his lips, feeling ravenous, stalking her by look alone as she followed one of the assistants to the trailer to change back out of the wedding dress.

Quickly, Edward set about the business of putting away his equipment, trying to make himself think of the work he had yet to do. He quickly gave up trying to concentrate. Thoughts of Bella consumed him, and the impulse to at least be near her was too much for him to withstand. His willpower was completely torn to shreds.

Hastily packing away his equipment to keep it safe from the rain, Edward crept closer to the trailer that separated Bella from him. His hands were moving, but his eyes were trained on the trailer door.

"Good, God. You are the opposite of smooth right now. This is pathetic."

Without taking his eyes off his target, Edward flipped his friend the bird. He was quickly distracted when the door to the trailer opened. His body jolted slightly. He was on tenterhooks, and it was obvious.

Jasper laughed and clapped him on the back. "Go get 'er tiger."

Edward wasn't even paying attention by that point. Bella had appeared in the doorway, and nothing else in the world mattered.

Her face scrubbed free of makeup, her hair loose and flowing around her - wavy from being braided all day - dressed in a simple shirt and jeans, she was breathtaking. It wasn't just that she was beautiful - though she was, heartbreakingly so. It was just that in that moment, Edward caught a glimpse of a future that could be his.

In that one moment, he saw a thousand different images. It had been nice to see her so dressed up today, looking elegant and graceful. Seeing her just like this, though - normal, mundane as she ever could be, sent his daydreams into the land of 'what if?'

He imagined what it might be be like to have those conversations he so enjoyed with her not over Gtalk or Skype, but with her sitting next to him or across the table in a house they shared. He saw how nice it would be to come home to her, to return to her kisses and smiles every day. Lazy Sunday mornings in bed.

His desire for that future, for the beautiful woman in front of him, was all he knew. He strode toward her purposefully, stopping briefly to touch his fingers to her wrist, getting her attention. It wasn't enough by a long shot. He craved her touch, craved all of her that she would give. Her eyes met his, and her expression turned shy, but she was smiling.

"Come here," he murmured, his voice low enough that only she had any hope of hearing. He glanced around quickly before he took her hand, tugging her behind the trailer and then into the cover of the trees.

She came willingly, and his heart sped.

They didn't get very far before he stopped, turning to face her. He stepped forward and she back, until she was pressed against the thick, sturdy trunk of a tree, her eyes frozen on his. He leaned in, his hands on either side of her, his nose skimming her cheek.

"Bella," he whispered.

She didn't answer and didn't wait for him to act. Instead, she reached up, taking his face in her hands. Tilting her head up, she claimed his lips as her own.

Edward waited for the guilt, the trepidation. What they were doing had consequences. There was so much to think about.

But none of it mattered. One way or another, he would find a way to make his daydream a reality.

Right then, he was going to kiss this woman. He was going to think of nothing but how it felt to wrap his arms around her and to have her fingers in his hair.

For the first time, Edward listened only to the greedy desires of his heart. His eyes were closed, but he soaked her in with every other sense. His fingers travelled her back, her sides, memorizing the lines of her body and how she shivered with pleasure when he brushed sensitive areas. When he let his lips travel to her cheek, down her chin, and suckled lightly at her neck, he reveled in the little noises she made - tiny moans and gasps that made him crazy. He was instantly addicted to the taste of her lips, her skin.

He would never have enough. He would never be sated. He could not fathom his thirst for her could be slaked.

He murmured her name in a rumble against her ear, and she whimpered, her arms tightening around him. "Will you come to my room tonight?" His words were a whisper, his tone breathless. "Or let me come to you?"

Holding her as he was, he could feel her body jolt slightly and hear her little gasp. She took his face in her hands again, lifting his head away from her cheek so she could kiss him. "Yes," she mumbled the word against his lips, between little bites that made him feel like he was about to burst right out of his skin. "Yes. Yes."

He kissed her ravenously then, pressing her back against a tree, his body surrounding and pinning her.

Before he could get hold of himself to clarify, his brother's booming voice permeated the bubble they'd disappeared into.

"Bella? Where'd you go, girl?"

Edward broke their kiss, leaning his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath. "Shit," he muttered.

Bella looked slightly bewildered as she blinked at him.

For long seconds, they looked at each other. Edward waited again for the guilt to consume him, but it didn't. He had no regrets, no qualms about kissing her like this. Somewhere inside him a switch had been flipped. His thoughts about how he was supposed to view her, who she was supposed to be to him were there, they simply carried no weight. Whatever they had been to each other, they'd evolved.

There was no going back.

And while he wasn't an idiot - there was a reason he didn't simply take her hand and march back out to face his colleagues, their family - he was also done running away. There was a lot they had to figure out, a lot.

What had he always told her? Most things worth doing were difficult. It had never stopped him from chasing after his dreams and as long as Bella felt the same, he was in for the ride.

Tenderly, he brushed her cheek with his fingertips and kissed her once more chastely. "Tonight," he promised.

Her cheeks flushed bright red and she smiled beatifically at him.

_**~0~** _

As much as she had to think about, Bella couldn't concentrate at all.

Emmett kept trying to tease her, only to be met with her distraction. Rosalie thought she'd just learned how to deflect him - after all, his good natured joshing fell flat when Bella blinked at him and only answered, "What?"

In reality, Bella was in information overload. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around what was happening. It all seemed surreal, especially sitting at dinner surrounded by her surrogate family.

For moments at a time, Bella almost convinced herself it was some elaborate daydream, but then she would feel heat on her skin and when she looked up, she would find Edward's eyes on her. The way he looked at her - so intense - he may as well have touched her flesh. It was an intimate expression, the look not of a brother, confidant, or friend, but of a lover.

"Bella?"

Bella jumped in her seat, dabbing at her lips with her napkin to cover her blush as she turned slightly to the side.

Alice looked bemused and raised a knowing eyebrow at her. "Pass the bread," she said sweetly.

She shoved the bread basket into her friend's hand a little more forcefully than necessary, shooting her a scowl.

But like everything else, her irritation was only fleeting. It lingered for an instant before it was replaced with her awareness of the man at the other end of the table. The connection between them was vivid, so tangible, she was vaguely surprised when the others leaned across the table and didn't feel it.

After so many years of ignoring what she felt, of hiding it behind her chafing indignation, or her need to show him she wasn't just a lovesick little girl, her want had turned into a craving too strong to be ignored.

When the dishes were being put away and Jasper and Edward were talking shop, Alice grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her off into a quiet corner of the house.

"Spill," Alice demanded.

Bella bit her lip, full intending to tell Alice to fuck off, but when she opened her mouth, she spilled.

Everything.

How she was completely head over heels and nothing made sense, but everything made sense. How confused she was because there was the man he'd been when she was a little girl with her arms around his neck, giggling as they ran through the forest; the cold, distant stranger he'd been for the last six years; and now this new person who was warm - hot, really - and, unlike the confident, arrogant Edward she'd always known, just as lost as she was. What she really wanted was to show him that despite their age difference, she wasn't a child, she wasn't so immature compared to him.

"But I don't... I don't..." Bella gasped, not realizing she was breathless until she couldn't speak.

Alice rubbed her back. "Stay here a sec. Just breathe."

Slumped over, her head in her hands, Bella breathed. Alice came back less than a minute later, putting a glass of water in Bella's hand. Drinking greedily, Bella gave her friend an appreciative look.

"Thanks," she said, feeling slightly calmer. With a little groan, she covered her face with her hands. "Alice, I just... I don't know what to do," she admitted in a small voice. "I'm not naive, right? That's what he means, that's what he wants?" She blushed furiously, feeling foolish.

"You mean by asking to come to your room?" Alice verified. "Well, yeah, that's what he wants, but that's beside the point. Is this what _you_ want? All feelings for him aside, Bella. You don't have to give it up if you're not ready just because you're in love with the guy."

Bella grimaced. "I'm 22."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"One way or another, it would be nice to just get it over with."

Alice crossed her arms. " _Now_ you sound immature. Didn't we have this conversation about Jacob? "

During high school and college, Bella had had her fair share of flirtations. Of them all, Jacob Black had gotten furthest. He was a sweet kid with a stunning smile. Nice. A very nice guy who made her laugh. She'd been twenty years old and sick of being a virgin, if only because the topic came up. A lot.

Part of her just wanted to be able to say she'd done it. She would have just one story. She'd be able to commiserate and compare to her friends' experiences.

Back then, Alice had reminded her how unimportant expectations were. When it came right down to it, it was Bella's body and her life - her choice to live with. And while Alice had lost her virginity for a similar reason - just to see what all the fuss was about - it didn't mean that's what Bella had to do.

In the end, Bella had opted not to go down that path, not because she wasn't ready, but because Jacob was such a good guy. As it was, everytime she shared a kiss with Jacob, she couldn't help but remember how different it was to kiss Edward, how much  _more_ it was. Jacob deserved someone who could lay in his arms and be only with him, if only for those moments they spent together.

Bella swallowed hard, forcing herself to look up at Alice. "It's always been him I wanted, Alice. Always. I..." She started to say she loved him, but it felt wrong. He should be the first one to hear those words leave her mouth, even if it was obvious to her friend.

Alice's smile spread slow and mischievous. She gave a little squeal and hugged Bella tightly.

Bella groaned, her head spinning. "But that's the problem. I don't know what to do or what I should be thinking about or... or..." She growled at herself. "This is ridiculous."

"Be honest with him," Alice urged. "Let him take care of you." Her eyes twinkled. "But tell me you have some pretty, lacy underthings on today."

The comment caught Bella so off guard she choked on a laugh. And once she started, she couldn't stop. She and Alice giggled together.

It felt good to laugh.

_**~0~** _

Edward was ready to lose his mind.

He'd had no time to speak to Bella on his own. Once, he spotted her going off with her friend, and when she came back Jasper had claimed his attention for official business. It it didn't help that official business constituted of going over the shots they'd gotten that day.

How could Edward help but think about the woman he'd captured in these photographs? How could he help but feel so lucky. This gorgeous, beguiling woman could be his, and though the world might see the soft smile he'd captured, he would always know those smiles belonged to him.

He wanted to claim those smiles, claim her body as she'd claimed his soul.

Because he was hers.

His boredom with most women before Bella, and his complete disinterest after, was explained. He'd always belonged to her. He could fight it all he wanted, it was just a simple truth. He could be happy without her. He could lead a fulfilling life. But now that he knew what he was missing, the place she was meant to take in his heart would always ache like a phantom limb if he couldn't have her.

But he could have her. She'd said yes to him when he asked.

"Did you notice you caught the lochness monster in the background of this one?" Jasper asked.

"It can be edited out," Edward responded distractedly, having not heard what his friend said.

Jasper snorted and closed the laptop screen making Edward blink sporadically. "Get out of here."

"But we haven't-"

"Go on. It'll wait until tomorrow." Jasper wagged his finger in Edward's face. "Try not to maul her though, in case we have to do a reshoot."

Edward narrowed his eyes, about to protest what Jasper was implying, but then he realized he didn't care. He was sick of denying what he felt, what he wanted. Instead, he merely said thank you, and took the stairs two at a time.

In the hallway he paused, adrenaline and excitement draining from him in a heartbeat as a million questions assaulted him at once.

Was it late enough?

Everyone who was staying in the house was in their own quiet corner, otherwise occupied.

He'd seen Bella go upstairs with Alice. Was she still with her friend? Would she want him to interrupt?

He rubbed the back of his neck, chuffing because he hadn't felt this nervous since he was in high school.

Just as he'd decided to stop being ridiculous, take his chances, and knock, Bella's door came open. She jumped a mile when she saw him in the hallway. Even in the dim light, he could see her cheeks flush.

"H-hi," she said, her voice breathy.

"Hi." His answering tone was low. His skin tingled like his whole body had fallen asleep, except without the odd discomfort. It was a warm energy that pulsed between them - sultry, thick.

He wanted to touch her. He wanted to tuck her body against his.

Moving the few steps that separated them, Edward reached out, winding his arms around her. Bella was just as eager, her arms looping around his neck. Their kisses were hard and deep, fervent with the pent-up desires that had pulsed in them all day like a second heartbeat, filling their veins with want.

They kissed until they had to breathe, and even then only separated a fraction of an inch. She moaned his name as she panted, the high pitched sound vibrating against his lips and driving him absolutely wild. Last night he'd been lost over whether he should want or deserve to kiss her. Days before that their relationship was in undefined tatters on the floor, and now... Now...

Now he lifted her right off her feet, his arms tight around her waist, as he kissed her passionately, walking backward toward his room.

He was so caught up and dizzy, he hardly noticed where he was until she'd fallen backward on the bed and he was over her in a heartbeat.

He froze then, hovering over her, trying to catch his breath.

Her skin was a hectic shade of pink, her lips swollen, her eyes tender.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, rolling onto his side. He propped himself up on his elbow so he had a hand free and caressed her cheek with the back of his knuckles.

She ducked her head shyly, kissing the back of his fingers, and he was so lost, so far gone for this girl.

Leaning down, he began to kiss her again. He started at her lips, content to taste. He rested his hand flat against her stomach, feeling her body rise and fall with her breath. Her hands were in his hair again, soft, her fingers rubbing a tiny patch of his scalp. The movement was so tender his heart felt like it might break.

He used his nose to tilt her chin up so he could kiss her neck, delighting in her little whimper when he dragged his teeth lightly along her skin. He traced a single finger along the strip of buttons that ran down the middle of her shirt. Of course she was wearing a button down shirt. It was so her - innocent and yet bewitching.

At first, he thought her little groans were those of pleasure. But as his hands roamed her body, eventually, other facts made themselves known.

She was shaking. Quite hard.

Her hands were clenched in fists at the back of his shirt, the fabric stretching taut along his chest.

He pulled back suddenly. "Bella?"

Her face was pinched, her breath uneven. Afraid he'd hurt her, Edward tried to put some distance between them, but she clung to him.

"I'm sorry," she gasped. "I don't know why I'm shaking so hard. I... I'm okay, but I can't stop shaking."

Cupping her face, he looked at her carefully. "Bella... are you a virgin?"

The way her eyes widened before she looked away, her lips tugging down, was all the answer he needed. He exhaled in a gust. "Oh, sweetheart."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yes. I know. I suck for leaving it there. Just trust me. You know I don't leave you long between chapters.
> 
> Thanks to twitina and barburella!
> 
> Much love to all of you.


	10. Clandestine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello, lovelies. Kisses to you all.

Bella's mind and body were at complete odds with each other.

Though she'd been nervous and regretful about her lack of experience, Bella was sanguine with the promise of what tonight meant. It wasn't how she'd daydreamed it might be - she and Edward had tripped and stumbled and nearly fallen getting to this point - but such was life. How could she be unhappy at how it played out as long as she got the ending she wanted?

And she did want him. She was driven to distraction by a yearning that existed on her skin. It was so obvious to her, she wondered how anyone could be oblivious, had wondered earlier that evening - when she kissed everyone goodnight - how they couldn't read her thoughts and desires. She felt like Edward's name must be written across every part of her, every inch of skin she'd imagined him kissing or touching or...

At times she felt utterly frantic for him. How could she not? He succeeded with a look in connecting with her on levels other men couldn't touch with their lips, soft caresses, and sweetly whispered words.

Yes, she wanted him. Yes, she was sure.

But when his hands were on her body, so intimate, so different than anything she'd experienced before, when she was flat on her back in his bed, watching the tenderness in his eyes mix with desire, lust, her body betrayed her. The tremble began at the center of her bones, vibrating her body even as she returned his kisses. At first she could contain it, could brush it away as nerves because she wasn't scared, she didn't want him to stop.

He did, though, when he realized how hard she was shaking.

A wordless panic made Bella hang onto him, cursing anything that could rob her of the happiness she'd been in just minutes before. There was still some lingering part of her afraid to believe this could be happening at all, that expected to wake up and find it had all been a dream, ephemeral as a bubble popping into and out of existence in the space of a few heartbeats.

"We don't have to stop," she whispered, not really realizing she'd spoken out loud until her voice reached her ears. The tone was so reedy. Bella squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for him to push her away.

Instead, he began to stroke her cheeks with his thumbs, his hands still cupping her face. He leaned his forehead against hers but didn't seem inclined to pick up where they'd left off. For a minute, they both just breathed.

Bella was scared to open her eyes, afraid to read rejection in his expression.

He swallowed hard, and Bella braced herself.

"Stopping is probably a good idea anyway," he said quietly.

She stiffened, but he was quick to move on.

"Bella. It's not that I don't want you." His chuckle was wry. "You have no idea how much I want..." He sighed, and brushed his hand through her hair. "Please open your eyes."

Still feeling more vulnerable and callow than was comfortable, Bella breathed in slowly through her nose and out again before she opened her eyes.

His expression was soft but also cautious. He smiled gently when his eyes met hers. "There you are, pretty girl," he murmured, brushing his fingertips over her lips. His features tightened and his lips pursed as if he was thinking very hard about his words. "I'm sorry. I did get ahead of myself. One way or another it's been a confusing few days for us, hasn't it? We've been hot, cold, slow, and too fast. It's not a bad idea to take a minute to breathe. Talk."

Strange as it was - she'd been in love with him for so long - Bella realized with his words what a whirlwind romance they'd been caught up in. Confusing was a good word for it. She'd also been to both extremes of terror and elated.

And talking wasn't running.

Loosening her grip on him, Bella started to sit up. He came with her and they rearranged themselves so their backs were against the headboard. Bella still felt self-conscious - the tremors hadn't stopped - and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, willing herself to calm down.

Bending forward, Edward retrieved the spare blanket that usually lay folded at the foot of his bed - in case the summer nights got colder, which wasn't atypical in Forks. He wrapped it carefully around her shoulders, rubbing her arms.

"I have to admit, I really just don't understand," he began quietly. "At all. You're gorgeous and so smart. You're sweet and funny. It's completely impossible you didn't have your pick of almost any guy you could possibly want."

 _Except the only one I wanted_ , she thought but didn't say.

Blowing out a breath, Bella tried to joke, needing the nervous heaviness of the atmosphere to blow away like storm clouds in the wind. "I guess your kiss was a lot to live up to."

He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes on hers - tight around the creases. He whispered her name with some dismay. "Tell me you didn't do this for me, because of me."

She shook her head, realizing suddenly how it must sound. "Yes. No. I mean..." She blew out a long breath, feeling ridiculous. The last thing she wanted was to be treated like a little girl. She needed to explain her thoughts like the adult she was. "I don't know, really," she admitted. "Yes and no."

"I don't understand."

"You were the one who told me never to settle, and I didn't." She smiled at him, a small smile, feeling slightly calmer. "I was the one teenager who actually listened when you told me what my expectations should be, and I took your rule as gold."

Pride flashed across his face, but there was still wariness there, and... guilt?

"That's not fair," he finally muttered. His eyes were full of regret as he looked up at her. "You have to see how unfair that was - how unfair it still is. This is exactly why a thirty-year-old man should never take advantage of a sixteen-year-old girl. If you've held on to this idealized vision of me-"

Irritation flared, and Bella interrupted him. "You're trying to protect me, and that's very noble and sweet of you. But I'm not sixteen anymore." Her tone was flat. Final. This point needed to be absolutely clear. Maybe he was the elder, but as adults, they were equal - they had to be if they were to have any kind of relationship. "I don't need your protection. You're afraid I idolized you and put you on a pedestal? I did. Absolutely, I did, but to assume I'm confusing that moon eyed nonsense with reality is just insulting. I'm not a child. I know what I'm saying and I know what I want."

Feeling more confident, Bella shrugged the blanket off her shoulder and straddled him quickly, more because she needed to face him than for any more nefariously sexy purpose. He looked surprised, but he didn't resist her. His hands went to her hips, their weight reassuring.

"Why shouldn't I want you?" She cupped the back of his neck, shy about what she was going to say but knowing she needed to say it. "Why shouldn't I want someone who has always been supportive of my dreams and aspirations? Someone I can talk to about anything. And you're so beautiful, Edward. So kind and..." She stopped because there was too much, too many reasons why he was amazing.

With a sigh, she bent her head closer to him, breathing in his scent, reveling in how right it felt to be with him like this - more than a friend, more than a confidant, just more. "I've been in love with you since before I really understood what love meant. And through everything - when I was angry and hurt, when I tried to think of anyone but you - I always came back. No one ever compared, and I'm not going to apologize for not forcing myself to find something lesser just because our circumstances haven't ever been ideal or normal."

His arms around her tightened and he kissed her then. It was a very thorough kiss, one that drove all thought and reason from her mind. He pushed forward and she fell backward, her fingers pressing tight against the hard muscles of his back.

"You love me?" He was breathless when he asked, and it took Bella few seconds to turn the sounds - nonsensical in her incoherent mind - into words.

She caressed his cheek. "Yes."

His smile was breathtaking, and he leaned down again, pressing a slow, soft kiss to her lips. "I do love you, Bella. I do."

Giddiness rose in her, and she kissed him back, a tiny peck to his lips. Then, laughing, she kissed his chin and along his jawline before he sought her mouth with his.

He rolled them onto their sides without breaking the kiss, his hand tangled in her hair at the back of her head. The kisses were heated but innocent, hungry but not as ravenous as they had been.

When their lips parted, he only moved away enough to give attention to the underside of her chin, her throat. He kissed her skin lingeringly, skimming the line of her neck with his nose. Bella sighed, content. She closed her eyes and merely luxuriated in his caress. She traced the shell of his ear and ran her fingers through his hair, finally allowing herself to imagine she could have him just like this.

"You know what else I love about you?" she asked when he'd worked his way back up to her lips again.

He kissed her once, his grin widening at the word love, and swept her hair away from her face, off her shoulder. "What's that?"

Bella leaned in slightly, her expression mischievous. She still felt so giddy. "You're a closet geek."

His eyebrows furrowed. "I am not a geek."

"Mmmhmm. Geeks are the only ones who can quote  _The Empire Strikes Back_  word for word." She kissed his lips teasingly.

Edward scoffed, shifting them again so she was on her back. His arm rested easily around her, over her stomach, and he propped up his head on his free hand. "Does  _Star War_ s even count? Anyone with a childhood can quote  _Star Wars_."

"You used it as a pickup line. That's what makes it count." She grinned at him. "Geek."

"Geeks take bites out of raw fish."

"You love sushi."

"And they swallow lightbulbs," he finished. Ducking his head down, he kissed her again. He lingered and the atmosphere between them got serious again.

Breaking their kiss with a soft sigh, Edward laid his head on the pillow, his nose nuzzling her neck. "We have a lot to sort out. It's not going to be easy." His voice was a rumble that vibrated against her skin sending shivers down her spine.

"Someone told me once, most things worth doing are difficult."

He raised his head again so she could see his smile. "Sounds like a smart person."

Bella hummed in assent, tracing the bridge of his nose with the pad of her finger. "He is smart - my man."

Again that smile - wide, proud, and adoring. "Your man," he repeated. His tone was gravely. "I like that. A lot."

"Well, that makes two of us."

**_~0~_ **

Edward woke to someone pounding on his bedroom door in the morning.

For a brief moment, he panicked, thinking someone was about to burst in on him and Bella. It took him a few seconds to realize she wasn't there, that his arms were tightening around nothing. He frowned automatically, a little crestfallen because he knew he'd drifted to sleep with his arms around her.

But while it would have been nice to wake up with her, it was just as well they'd been stalled in their lovemaking. He had work to do today and technically she was on call.

He rubbed the back of his neck feeling a little sheepish about how ready he was to pounce on her the night before. Even if she hadn't been a virgin, it was a bad idea for so many reasons. There were several people in the house Edward didn't want finding out about him and Bella by catching them stumbling out of the same room.

Someone pounded the door again, and Edward jumped having forgotten what woke him in the first place. "Who is it?" he called, rubbing stiffness out of his neck.

"It's me."

Jasper.

Sitting up in bed, Edward dug the heel of his palms into his eyes. "Come in."

His friend peered around the corner cautiously and pretended to sniff the air before looking over at Edward. "I don't believe it. After all that you didn't seal the deal?"

Edward couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "I'll thank you not to be so crass about my girl."

Jasper blinked at him for a few seconds before he guffawed so loud and long he bent over at the waist, his hands on his knees. "This is hilarious."

"Obviously." Edward was only slightly irritated at his friend. Nothing could touch him today.

"Well. Another of our fine bachelor ranks bites the dust, I suppose. It's hilarious because you're so pleased, and I know you didn't fuck... excuse me, you didn't make sweet love to her yet."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"It's going to take a bit to get used to this you. I'm used to you being so unflappable around women." Jasper chuckled again, then crooked his head, looking curious. "So wait, does that mean she's moving to Chicago?"

Edward felt his smile fall along with his brow.

"Ooooh." Jasper hissed, wincing. "Man, I broke the blissful glow. That hurts." He clutched at his heart. "Okay, no more questions. Sorry. I'm not used to speaking couple talk. I have no tact."

There was awkward silence.

"So... work?" Jasper suggested.

"Work," Edward agreed.

**_~0~_ **

It turned out, it was difficult to work when a pretty girl he just couldn't stop kissing was just so present.

Damn his mother's love of windows.

Jasper snapped his fingers in front of Edward's face. "Focus, jackass, we're almost done."

Grudgingly, Edward looked away, trying not to think about how much he'd rather be out on the lawn where Bella lay on a blanket on her belly, feet kicked up in the air as she devoured a book.

He wanted to spread his hand over the small of her back, inching up her shirt so he could feel her skin. He wanted to nuzzle the side of her head, read passages in her ear.

"Cullen. I swear to Christ-"

"I got it," Edward said, turning back to his work.

He lapsed twice. Once, when he saw her head upstairs by herself, he stalked after her. He took her by surprise in the hallway, pinning get up against the wall and smothering her squeal of surprise with his kiss. It took her only a moment to reciprocate, and then her hands were in his hair and her body was pushing up against his as she kissed him just as voraciously.

"I hate being away from you," he whispered raggedly against her mouth, breathing hard because he'd been absolutely oxygen deprived for minutes.

She giggled. It was a gorgeous sound. "We're in the same house."

He just growled because this girl, this woman, made him absolutely insane, and he knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't help it.

He was in love.

The second lapse was her fault.

Everyone was bustling. The remaining crew was wandering the house, making sure they hadn't forgotten anything as they packed up, ready to leave the Cullen house. Carlisle and Esme were offering what assistance they could. Edward was lending a hand until Bella appeared at the fringes of the chaos.

When she looked at him, her expression shy but coy, he forgot what he was supposed to be doing. He strode through the crowd like a man on a mission and fell into step surreptitiously behind her. He let his hands brush her waist, needing to touch her in some way even in that small amount of time. He hooked his finger into one of the loops of her jeans, letting her lead.

They ended up in the laundry room. Edward lifted Bella up onto the washer. It was a new angle and one he found he enjoyed thoroughly. He stepped between her legs, stretching up to kiss her while she stooped down.

She felt amazing underneath his hands. She was small and soft - perfect. He groaned when she wrapped her legs around him. An image flashed through his mind, and he wondered suddenly what she would taste like, wondered what it would be like to spread her legs and bury his head between her thighs.

He broke their kiss with a gasp, resting his head against her chest as he tried to calm down. They would be missed sooner than later.

"This is so clandestine," he murmured, taking a deep breath.

Her hands in his hair felt heavenly.

When he felt in better control of himself, he kissed her again, slow this time. A slow burn.

They were going to smolder into ash.

"Edward? Where the hell are you?!"

It was probably minutes before Jasper's voice reached them. Even then, they didn't listen at first, their tongues still lapping lightly at each other.

"Edward!"

"Fuck." Edward cut off their kiss with a growl. With a sigh, he pressed his lips to the tip of her chin.

"Go on," she said reluctantly. "I'll stay here until it's safe." She winked at him, her expression teasing.

He smirked at her. "Soon, pretty girl."

_**~0~** _

It felt like a million years passed before most everyone was out of the house. Just the family, Jasper, and a couple of various crew were left.

"This calls for alcohol!" Jasper declared. "A celebration and a thank you to our hosts."

"You're not going to find any decent place in Forks," Rosalie says wryly, finishing getting Henry into a fresh change of clothes.

"What's the nearest town with a nice place?"

"Port Angeles, but that's-"

"Let's do it," Jasper said resolutely.

"It's an hour away," Emmett looked perplexed.

"Well I've got nothing better to do." Jasper raised his eyebrow at Edward. "I mean, I've got all my work done."

It took Edward a few seconds to figure out what his friend was trying to do for him. Once he did, he could have kissed Jasper.

Clearing his throat, he made an excuse about work still left to do and encouraged his parents not to feel bad.

"I think I'm going to stay too," Bella hedged when everyone was about ready to go. "I don't really feel like drinking."

"Since when?" Alice asked with a snort.

Bella glared and Jasper began hurrying people along.

Finally,  _finally_ , they were alone.

There were going on a million things they should be talking about, he knew. Yes, he was ready to put his guilt over what he'd done when she was sixteen away. It didn't weird him out as much as it could have, that he hadn't been a virgin when they met and, sixteen years later, she still was. But there were so many other complications that, as adults, they should have been concerned about. They both knew relationships could not exist on physical attraction or even love alone. Even if she didn't know that, he certainly did.

But as soon as the hum of the last car backed down the driveway, Edward's will snapped.

After all, so many of the things he needed to communicate to her took no words at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know. Believe me, I know.
> 
> Thanks as usual to barburella and GinnyW. Special thanks to Rose Masen Cullen for looking this over for me.
> 
> So. What's on everyone's mind now? Hmm? Edward and Bella have a whole house to themselves...


	11. Night In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So you all are expecting them to watch a movie right?

Whenever they left Bella alone in the house, Esme and Carlisle always reminded Bella to immediately lock the door behind them. When she was young, she knew they would wait to hear the sound of the lock turning. It was so much a habit that though she was all grown up now, Bella still followed her surrogate parents to the foyer and locked the door behind them when everyone left.

After everyone left, Bella lingered. Her heart was pounding fast against her ribs, her face felt hot, almost feverishly so, and the thrill of anticipation was like a constant vibration thrumming just under her skin. She closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against the cool wood of the door, trying to get her head on straight.

Just because they'd been stealing secret kisses all day didn't mean anything was going to happen now that they were alone in the house. Early that morning, just before she'd drifted off to sleep in his arms, Edward had murmured quietly that they had so much to talk about.

It was the responsible thing to do, right? Talk?

Of course, that could be a tall order considering her capability for concrete thought flew straight out the window whenever he was near. His footfalls on the wood floor drove any thoughts of talking away in an instant.

There were other things she wanted to be doing with her lips.

Still, she wanted to show him, prove to him she was an adult fully capable of not thinking with the lust that seemed to grow stronger with each step he took.

But before she could turn to face him, he was too close, his body enveloping her personal space. He leaned against the door, his arms out, palms resting on either side of her head though he did not press forward, did not pin her against the wood. He paused like this, his breath hot on her hair, not touching her but completely surrounding her.

Bella turned, leaning back against the door but reaching out, her hands at his waist. He ducked his head, pressing his lips first against her hairline, her cheek, before he found her lips.

With a sigh, Bella pushed away from the door, wrapping her arms around him, pulling her body flush with his. She no longer felt so restless. The vibration beneath her skin, that hum she couldn't seem to quiet, rose in tune with the way his form wrapped around her. Anticipation turned to lust, and when she pulled back minutely, she saw that emotion reflected in his eyes.

He wanted her.

His hands slipped from the door and he pressed his palms against her back, dipping his head to kiss her again. Bella let her mouth open, inviting him in, welcoming his tongue with hers, the movements languid, echoing the way their bodies bent together.

Edward's movements became possessive, his hands roaming her body until he cupped her ass, pulling her to him. His lips were aggressive, but she pushed back just as hard. As it seemed everything between them went, this was escalating quickly. Any thought of talking went straight out the window.

Maybe they only had these two settings: ice cold or scalding hot.

Bella preferred scalding, would take the ache of the burn to frigidity any day.

They stumbled, their feet trying to tangle as thoroughly as their arms were, as if they could entwine like Cirque du Soleil contortionists.

It was no small miracle that they got to the living room unscathed.

As he pushed her horizontal on the couch, his body a pleasant weight on top of her, Bella let her hands wander, taking him in with every sense she had. She cupped her hands at his face, a thrill going down her spine as she felt the way his jaw tensed as his lips moved with hers and the scratch of stubble against her palms. His scent drew her in - a musky scent that was pure male. Who needed cologne when he smelled like that? His taste was heat on her tongue, and the glimpses she caught, when her eyes fluttered open, told her he was just as caught up in her as she was in him.

What an empowering thought, that she could own him this way. She was his, body and soul. That thought wasn't as frightening as it could have been. Not with him. He'd always loved her, though that love was taking a new shape now. He'd adored and cherished her.

He would take care of her, as he always had.

So when the atmosphere between them shifted again, the frantic energy calming into something more smooth - a contained burn rather than a wildfire - Bella wasn't surprised. He broke their kiss, stilling his hands as he caught his breath, and pulled back to look at her. His smile was gentle, his expression tender, and the way he cupped her cheek made Bella feel treasured. She put her hand over his, stroking his thumb with hers.

He moved his hand, stroking her cheek, her neck. His fingers lingered at the collar of her shirt, his eyes searching hers. "Can I touch you?"

Her heart crashed against her chest. The nerves were inevitable but not so bad she shook. The tightness of her throat made it hard to speak though, so she only nodded, moving her hand to rest on his shoulder.

Tilting his head, he kissed her sweetly, his deft fingers working the first buttons of her shirt. Bella couldn't help her gasp when his fingertips brushed her skin.

She had been groped and petted before, but nothing ever compared to the sensation she felt then. As small as his touch was - he hadn't even opened her shirt yet - the intimacy, the connection she felt to this man, made the tactile experience that much more intense.

Her breath wheezed a bit, and Edward's eyes were on hers in an instant, his fingers stilled. "Are you alright?"

Biting into the flesh of her lower lip, Bella nodded fervently. She was more than alright. His gentle touch was the greatest pleasure she'd known. It wasn't the ecstasy type of pleasure, though she understood absolutely his touch could get her there. This pleasure arose from a general rightness and a deep joy.

Somehow, the look in Edward's eyes told her he understood. His smile was gentle and his kiss playful as he nipped at her lips, his fingers continuing their journey downward.

When he'd undone every button, he again broke their kiss, propping himself up on his elbow so he could see her. One of Bella's hands rested at his waist, the other behind her head.

He hummed, the sound a low, sexy rumble, as he pushed her shirt apart, exposing her simple crimson and black bra, tied together at the front with a little black bow. Bella's lips parted, her breath quick and her eyes intent on him, waiting for his reaction.

Edward sucked in a breath, worrying his finger over the little bow. "Jesus Christ," he muttered.

Bella's lips quirked up. She could tell by the flush on his face he liked what he saw. A lot.

"You are so lovely." He dipped his head, kissing her collarbone. "Beautiful." He kissed a spot above her right breast. "Divine." He lingered, his lips between both her breasts, right above the bow. "And Bella? This silly little bow is so fucking provocative, I don't even know what to do with myself."

Bella's throat went absolutely dry. It was unbelievably erotic to hear Edward - refined, proper Edward - talk this way. While he was on top of her. With his fingers playing at the skin of her breasts that peeked above the silk. She wished she had some game, and she might have told him she had a few ideas what he could do with himself, but as it was she was hypnotized.

But a second later, she couldn't be worried about her lack of feminine wiles. Edward dipped his head again, taking one of the ties between his teeth and pulling. He stared at her from underneath his eyelashes as he brought his head up, his eyes positively wild with desire.

Bella whimpered as the bra opened and the fabric fell to the side. Her nipples, already hard from his handiwork, coiled almost painfully tight in the slight chill of the air. Looking down, Edward licked his lips, and it was all Bella could do not to buck her hips up against him.

He brushed the backs of his fingers over one breast and then the other, letting his knuckles feather over her nipples. She heard him swallow hard, his breath a shuddery thing, before he leaned down. As he brought his hand to cup her breast, he kissed her hard but slow, moving his tongue in time with with his squeezes, his thumb circling her.

Moaning into his mouth, Bella moved her hand to the back of his head, threading her fingers into his hair.

The sensation was too much, and Bella couldn't control herself any longer. She wiggled beneath him, seeking sweet friction - the touch of his body to hers. In response, he leaned into her, his hips meeting hers, his hand on her breasts just a little rougher.

He growled against her lips.  _Growled_. "I need..." He swallowed. "I want to taste you," he amended. "Will you let me?"

The noise she made was a cross between a whine caught at the back of her throat and a fervent yes. Somewhere in the back of her mind she felt a little trepidation. She'd been touched there but never tasted. But just then, she couldn't care. She was desperate for him in whatever way he chose to take her. She would have agreed to anything.

She gave a groan of protest when he backed off her, his hands and lips leaving her. His smile broadened - he had such a maddeningly sexy grin - as he got to his knees at his end of the couch.

Taking both her hands, he pulled her upright, tugging at her shirt until she shrugged all the way out of it, letting both that and her bra slip to the floor. Shy again, she hesitantly pushed his shirt up until he got the idea and pulled it over his head. She pressed her lips together, her eyes taking in the cut of his body: muscular enough that his chest, shoulders, and abs were lightly defined - smooth and beautiful - but not lumpy like a true bodybuilder.

She liked it.

A lot.

Edward cupped her cheek as he laid her back down again. He stroked her face adoringly, her neck, the valley between her breasts. He tickled her stomach making her gasp and giggle, writhing a little under his touch.

He chuckled - such a deep sound it seemed to resonate, vibrating her body like a tuning fork being struck, but then again, everything he did had her worked up. His expression became more serious as he hooked his fingers into her waistline, tugging at her jeans.

Pressing her lips together, feeling at once a little foolish and very turned on, Bella raised her hips up off the sofa, letting him pull her pants and panties down together. He watched this part of her as he exposed her, and she watched him, reading the desire in his eyes and the tension of his jaw.

If she didn't know any better, she'd have thought he was having to hold himself back from ravaging her.

But once he pulled her pants down and off her legs, Bella kicking a little to help him, he was over her again. He kissed her softly, reaching his hand between them to cup her between her legs. Bella moaned at his touch, her thighs giving a little spasm as she automatically widened her legs the slightest bit.

"Fuck me. You're so wet, pretty girl," he rumbled, his voice vibrating against her skin as he began to kiss his way down her body. He flicked her nipples with his tongue in passing and she moaned his name, tangling her fingers in his hair, pressing her hips up against his hand. "You want me to use my tongue on you, beautiful? Hmm?" He kissed a moist trail down her stomach, tickling her belly button with his nose. "Would you like that?"

"Yes. Please. Edward. Please." Her tone was a mere breath between gasps as he'd pushed his fingers inside her, his thumb pressing down on her clit.

"You'd like that?" he asked again, curling his fingers up inside her, stroking slowly.

"Please," she begged again.

With his other hand, he spread her legs wider and lowered his head.

Bella's entire body jolted when he took her clit gently between his teeth, sucking rather than biting, flicking his tongue rapidly against it. "Holy crow," she exclaimed in shock. He wasn't going to ease into this, and how could she be anything but glad. She'd already been worked up, the pressure between her legs, at her center growing as the night wore on, but now.

Fuck.

If the noises she was making sounded ridiculous, Bella was entirely unaware. If the way her body rose to meet his tongue, grinded against his face was embarrassing, Bella was blissfully oblivious. There was not a single thought in her head. Her entire existence was given over to this feeling rising in her, this pleasure so absolute she was helpless to control it or do anything but let it build inside her.

For the love of all that was holy, he knew exactly what he was doing. He alternated, going fast for a minute before he switched to long, slow laps. He used his tongue on her clit but then switched, thrusting it inside her.

Her back arched, her moans coming to a crescendo. Her hands were in his hair, tracing the shell of his ears, tugging them a little mindlessly.

"Edward. Fuck. I. I..."

He held onto her hips, lapping as her walls began to spasm and she came, her body rocking with the strength of her orgasm.

Bella blinked sporadically, trying to see past the spots in her vision. Her breath was ragged, her chest heaving.

She expected Edward to be wearing that smug look as he raised his head, but he wasn't. His smile was small and pleased, the look in his eyes unlike any expression Bella had ever seen him wear.

This was her look, she realized. It was only hers. This combination of love, complete devotion, and tenderness.

Her hand was trembling as she rested it against his cheek. He turned his head, kissing her palm as he lay beside her, tucking her close against him so they were on their sides. Stroking her hair away from her face, he kissed her forehead lingeringly, holding her tight. He ducked his head, his nose tickling her neck as they just breathed together.

As her bliss settled and coherent thought returned, Bella began to wonder if she was supposed to be doing something. He seemed content holding her, but at the same time, the way she was pressed against him, she could feel he was hard.

Well, it was something she knew - how to reciprocate.

Splaying her hands over his chest she sought his lips, kissing him softly. It was erotic, tasting the salty flavor of herself on his lips. She shifted, bringing her knee up to rub against his length.

He groaned, tilting his head up to break their kiss. "Bella, wait."

She stayed still, pulling back to look at him questioningly. His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"I'm fine, I just want to stay like this for a little bit."

Warmth spread over Bella's chest, and she tucked her head under his chin.

Minutes passed just like that. They moved very little. His fingers trailing up and down her bare back felt delicious, making Bella want to purr in satisfaction.

How completely surreal. She was twenty-two years old, laying naked in the living room of the house she'd grown up in. It was slightly risque. This was where her family gathered for major holidays.

Where  _his_ family gathered.

A lump rose to Bella's throat. "We should probably talk soon," she muttered.

The way she felt about him, the fire that took away all reason and self-control, Bella was well aware they couldn't press their luck for long. Jasper and Alice had seen through them in a heartbeat. Their family wouldn't be oblivious forever.

Edward grumbled. "You're right" he said quietly. Then he chuckled, running his hand through her hair. "Well, if you expect me to be able to concentrate, you'd better cover these up."

Blushing, Bella smirked at him. "You're a boob man?"

His grin was mischievous. "No." He goosed her for emphasis. Squeaking, Bella smacked his arm, and they wrestled playfully, pulling themselves upright in the process.

Edward pulled his shirt over her head, looking as though he might burst with satisfaction at the sight of her. Bella smiled indulgently. He waited only long enough to let her get her panties on before he pulled her back against him, laying down again.

Holding hands, they played with each other's fingers for a prolonged minute.

"They're going to freak out, aren't they?" Bella asked finally.

Edward tensed and released a long, slow breath. "I'm not sure."

More silence.

"They're going to have a lot of questions," Bella murmured.

"I know."

More silence.

Bella rolled over, wrapping her arms around his neck. "We probably should have answers."

"It's a good idea," Edward said, but his eyes were on her lips. There was that hunger in his expression she wasn't at all used to or remotely tired of.

It had definitely been a bad idea to try and have this conversation when they were tangled together. When she wasn't wearing pants and...

Dear God, his chest felt amazing under her hands.

Who knew which one of them moved first, but soon, they were kissing again.

Somewhere along the line, they must have nodded off because the next thing Bella knew a sound was breaking into the peacefulness of her sleep. There was an urgency at the back of her mind, but she ignored it, burrowing closer to Edward. He was so warm, his arms so right around her.

Content again, she was about to fall back to sleep when a gasp made her eyes fly open.

"What. The. Fuck?!"

In a panic, Bella scrambled to untangle herself from Edward's limbs but her leg was caught between his and she only managed to send herself spilling onto the floor.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was gravelly from sleep. He leaned over her, but then looked over to what she was staring at. He sucked in a breath. "Oh, no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to barburella, jfka06, and GinnyW for all your help.
> 
> I'm just going to be… under my desk.


	12. Face the Music

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not too bad of a wait, right? Welp. Let's see how this all goes down.

Not making out in the couch when your family was due back at some undetermined time was a lesson Edward thought he had mastered in high school.

Then again, those days were nearly 20 years in his past. He didn't think naturally in terms of sneaking around. And of course, with Bella in his arms, it was difficult to think of anything rational at all.

Just one more kiss and he'd pull them upright so they could talk. He even thought it might be nice to lure her to his room. With her, there was a thrill he hadn't felt in years at the idea of having a woman in his bed again - even if he didn't live in this house, that room would always be his.

Just a few more minutes. She smelled like girl and sweat and sex. It was a heady odor and an intoxicating one. And she was wrapped around him, surrounding him with warmth, so much of her skin still there for him to touch.

Warm and more content than he could ever recall being, Edward had slipped into the arms of sleep before he even realized he was at all tired.

Now they were both in a world of trouble. This was not how he would have chosen to be found out by a long shot. There was still so much he and Bella needed to discuss, needed to know for themselves before they even thought of going to the family. But nodding off in the living room, with so many of their clothes still scattered around, they'd robbed themselves of that leeway space.

Emmett was glaring. Rosalie was behind him holding Henry, her mouth gaping in shock.

His elder brother's eyes narrowed before he came forward, looking for all the world like a charging bull. Edward was on his feet in the next heartbeat, instinctively putting himself between his infuriated brother and Bella. Logic hadn't quite up with him. Emmett was no danger to Bella, of course.

All of his anger and shock was aimed at Edward.

"You son of a bitch!" Emmett shoved him, but Edward was prepared and only stumbled back a step. "What have you done? What the fuck have you done?!"

"Emmett! Stop!" Bella scrambled to her feet just as Emmett reached out, grabbing Edward by the shoulders and shaking him. She threw herself between them, and Edward grabbed her waist, tensed in case he had to get her away from him.

If Emmett even noticed Bella's presence, he didn't let on. His eyes were still locked with Edward's over Bella's head, his hands in fists by his side. "She's our sister, you sick fuck. What the hell do you think-"

"Emmett Cullen! Stop. Stop this right now. You're scaring your son," Rosalie hissed scathingly.

Sure enough, Henry was awake now and watching the proceedings with trepidation in his teary eyes. He was whimpering softly, clinging to his mother as if his life depended on it.

A contrite look flashed over Emmett's face and he grudgingly took a step back. Bella stayed with her back against Edward's front like a little guardian, fierce and ready to defend. She found his hands and threaded their fingers together.

Emmett's eyes raked over her form, his lip twisting with fury and disgust. Edward was all too aware that they were both half dressed, with Bella not wearing any pants. "Did he hurt you? Did he?" Emmett demanded, taking another step toward him.

"What?!" Bella protested at the same time Edward growled, "I would never hurt her. Never." Edward tried to step out from behind Bella, furious at his brother's accusations, but she held fast to him.

"Go upstairs and get some clothes on," Emmett snapped at Bella.

"Don't talk to her that way," Edward demanded, furious, defensive, and above all, protective.

His brother glowered. "Don't you-"

"What is going on in here?" Esme's voice startled all of them. Edward's heart dropped like a stone right into his gut, twisting uncomfortably as it went. "What- Oh!"

She stopped so suddenly, Carlisle barreled right into her. He reached out to steady them both before his eyes fell on the scene in the living room.

"Oh, fuck," the Cullen patriarch breathed audibly under his breath.

Edward squeezed Bella's hand spasmodically, both of them gasping. Even Emmett's eyes bulged in their father's direction, registering shock at a word none of them had ever heard leave his mouth.

Suddenly, the room was filled with too many voices, all clamoring at once. It was completely nonsensical, and Edward wanted nothing more than to get Bella out of there. If one of them was going to face the family's wrath, it most certainly should be him.

But perhaps luckily, Rosalie took over.

"Emmett, calm him down and see if you can get him in bed," she commanded, putting a weepy Henry in her husband's arms.

While she was doing this, Alice, who'd snuck in with Jasper behind Carlisle and Esme, ducked in between everyone, grabbing Bella's wrist. "Come on, hon." She tugged, trying to get her away from Edward.

Edward felt Bella's fingers tighten around his and she looked over her shoulder, uncertain. The last thing he wanted to do was let her go, but Alice would take care of her.

Squeezing her hand once, he carefully unwound their fingers, his mind reeling, trying to figure out what he was going to say to his mother and father who were still staring at him with shell shocked expressions.

But Rosalie had other plans. "Bella, go with Alice. You," she looked at Edward, "come with me. Henry, Mommy will be in to kiss you goodnight in a minute, okay? Everyone else... sit tight. I'm sure we'll be right back."

Before anyone could protest, Rosalie was dragging him up the stairs. Edward twisted as he walked, trying to find Bella, but she and Alice were right behind him.

"Come on, lover boy. You'll see each other in just a minute," Rosalie muttered impatiently, pulling him into his room, across the hall from Bella's, and shutting the door.

Edward didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until he was suddenly gasping and dizzy.

"Sit before you fall," Rosalie said mildly, folding her arms and leaning against the door.

Stumbling backward, Edward sat heavily on the bed, his head in his hands while he tried to catch his breath.

What the hell just happened?

"Okay. How long?"

Edward peered up at Rosalie. "Days."

She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. "Truth, Edward Anthony Cullen. Now."

Jesus, Henry was so screwed. "I don't know how to answer that."

She pursed her lips, her eyebrows arching. As she stared, her eyebrows progressively inching higher up her forehead. "Oh. My. God." She scoffed. "I knew I was competing with someone, but a sixteen year old girl?"

"Rosalie," Edward groaned, putting his hands over his eyes and rubbing tiredly.

"No. No." She gave a little laugh. "It's just a long held mystery to me. To finally know..." She shook her head, smiling a little. "Wow, if she could get you worked up back then, I can only imagine what she's doing to you now."

Edward gave her a look. "You could really tell?"

"Well, I'll tell you one thing. You and I? We were cool as ice, baby. No heat whatsoever. And that's fine, because you brought me where I needed to be. But whatever this thing is..." She gestured at him. "Look at you, Edward. You were so caught up in whatever it is you were doing with her you didn't even hear the door open. Does that sound like you? You used to interrupt whatever we were doing to answer a text."

"You don't think it's weird?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Edward. I fell in love with your brother over three visits with you, my boyfriend, to your family's house."

"While I was kissing you in front of Bella to ward her off," Edward said with a grimace.

"Yeah. That sure sounds like you." She went to his suitcase, digging out a shirt and throwing it at him. "For fucks sake, put that on."

As he put his shirt on, Rosalie came to sit beside him. "Yeah. They're all surprised right now, and this is not going to be the easiest night of your life," she said quietly. "But ultimately? This is you and Bella. What do you want?"

"Her," he said quietly. "I want her."

Rosalie nodded and smirked a little. "This is so classically Edward," she said fondly, patting his cheek. "Okay. Just a couple important questions, and then you're going to have to go face the music before they all come storming up here. Most important one." She looked him right in the eye. "Did anything happen when she was sixteen?"

Edward ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck guiltily. "I kissed her."

"Okay. Whatever you do... do not mention that.  _Ever_. Ever, ever, ever."

_**~0~** _

Bella emerged from her bedroom at almost the exact same time Edward did.

She didn't realize how nervous she was until their eyes met, but when he smiled, his expression a little wane but genuine, the knots in her stomach loosened just enough that she knew they would get through this.

He reached for her, taking her hand and entwining their fingers. Bella smiled then.

"Bella," he whispered her name, tugging her hand so she stepped up to him. He wrapped his arm around her, his free hand warm at the small of her back. He kissed her sweetly, not minding the two other women in the hallway with them. "I just need to know one thing." He rubbed her back gently, looking into her eyes. "I know we have a lot to talk about, figure out. But do you want to be with me? You know I love you, and I know you love me, but do you want to be an us?"

She pressed her lips together, trying to taper down the ridiculously big grin that threatened to break through the nervousness she was feeling. "Yes," she sighed.

His answering smile was radiant. He tilted his head, catching her lips in a kiss.

That was quickly interrupted by footsteps pounding up the stairs. Bella ducked her head, her hands on Edward's chest. She was relieved when it was only Jasper.

The blond man smirked at them. "You'd better get down there before your brother drags you down."

Edward gave her an encouraging smile, not dropping her hand as they descended the stairs together.

The family was gathered in the living room, Carlisle and Esme seated, their hands clasped together. Emmett was pacing the room, his arms crossed and his expression fierce.

"Christ," Edward muttered under his breath.

There was a tense silence that made Bella want to go right out of her skin. It had been years since she'd felt like this. Esme and Carlisle had never needed to raise their voices or hands when their children made mistakes. Their disappointment made her sorry enough.

Now, it made her irritated. She was happy. Edward was happy. Why were they freaking out?

Esme took a deep breath. "Sit," she directed, gesturing at the opposite couch with her chin.

Edward and Bella glanced at each other but sat, still holding hands.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "I'm not sure what we walked in on-"

"Oh, I know exactly what we walked in on. Some perverted, incestuous bullshit is what," Emmett snarled, more worked up than Bella could ever remember seeing him.

He was a little frightening like this and more than a little annoying.

"Emmett," Carlisle said warningly. He looked back to Edward and Bella. "We're going to give you a chance to explain."

Edward blew out a long gust. "The truth is, we're just trying to figure this out for ourselves."

"Yeah," Emmett scoffed, stepping forward threateningly. "Must make it easier to think without any clothes on."

"Emmett, for fucks sake," Rosalie growled at her husband in exasperation.

"This is fucked," Emmett argued.

"Just what is it you think is going on here? Maybe we should start there," Edward challenged, sounding annoyed.

"What I think is going on is you taking advantage of a kid who's always looked up to you. She used to follow you around like a little puppy, and for you to twist that to get what you want. It's sick. Sick." He was striding across the room as he spoke, intent on getting in Edward's face. Edward stood up, his expression furious.

"Whoa. Okay." Bella got between them again, holding her hand out to stop Emmett's forward motion. "Not that I don't appreciate you looking out for me, Em, but give me a break. I'm not a little kid. Edward didn't do anything wrong."

"Are you kidding me with this? He's your brother."

"No, he isn't."

"We weren't raised with her, Emmett," Edward pointed out, restlessly running his hand through his hair. "She isn't my sister - not biologically or otherwise. I never felt like she was my sister."

"Bella, you've introduced me as your brother for fucks sake."

"I've introduced  _you_ as my brother." Bella rubbed her arms in a self-conscious motion. "You're the perfect big brother. That's how you feel to me. It's never been the same with Edward. Not ever."

"Just how was it?" Carlisle's tone and expression extremely uncomfortable.

Edward's eyes narrowed. "What are you asking?"

"How long has this been going on, Edward?"

"Days," Bella said quickly, before Edward's guilt could make the situation much more volatile than it needed to be. "It's all... very new."

"Like I said, there are a lot of things we need to figure out," Edward agreed.

"I just don't understand," Esme said. "You've been so estranged for years. These last few days, I've just been happy that you were finally able to stand being in the same room together, let alone working together."

"What are you worried about?" Bella asked, not knowing if she wanted to know the answer.

"So much. Is this... The relationship you two had when you were younger, Bella. Was it right of us to let him be the one who comforted you? You went to him before you came to us about anything." She frowned. "I suppose I'm worried you might have become dependent."

"Mom. Do you really think I would take advantage of something like that?" Edward sounded hurt and aghast.

Esme gave her son an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I don't know what to think right now."

"Even if that was the case, it's like you said. We've been apart for years," Bella pointed out. "I got distance." She looked at Esme, Carlisle, and Emmett in turn. "I know what I want."

The three of them still looked displeased.

"Even if he isn't your brother, the age thing is just... weird," Emmett said moodily, the look on his face suggesting he'd just bitten into a lemon. "And either way you look at it, you're family. It's like... getting together with your creepy uncle."

"Thank you for that, Emmett," Edward said, rolling his eyes.

"Well, you're close enough to 40, and B is just a baby. I mean, no offense, kid. I know you're an adult and all, but it's just... gross."

"Yes, you're the epitome of mature," Rosalie said, a scathing expression on her face. "Ewww, it's gross," she mimicked.

He screwed up his mouth at her, but the look he gave wasn't as fierce as before. "Come on, babe. Think about it. What if Henry's future wife is sixteen right now? Probably already lost her virginity and-"

"I'm not sure being so lewd is necessary in this case, Emmett," Carlisle interrupted, giving his son a stern look. He ran a hand over his mouth, his expression suggesting he was searching for the right words. "I think you can understand, this is a lot to take in."

He looked up, meeting Bella's gaze. "Sweetheart, we've always known we couldn't replace your parents in your heart. Neither of us expected that." He looked to the side, and Esme nodded in fervent agreement. "Still. I've never treated you, never thought of you differently than I would have my own daughter by blood."

"I know that," Bella said softly. "You are my parents. My mother and father." She took a deep breath, looking over at Edward, reaching out to take his hand again. "And I know that makes this... unconventional. But think about it. All my life, you've told me you've wanted for me whatever made me happy, just like I'm sure you wanted for Edward. Well, you know what kind of a man Edward is, and what kind of a woman I am. If you think about us, your children, separately wouldn't a guy like Edward be great for a girl like me and vice versa?"

This thought was met with silence, but at least it wasn't met with arguments.

"Dad, you said just a few days ago you thought I was unhappy," Edward pointed out. "You weren't wrong. But now..." He looked at Bella and his expression was so open, so tender, it stole her breath. There was no doubt. His love for her was written all over his face. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. "I'm not unhappy anymore," he said to his father though he didn't look away from Bella. "And I choose not to be lonely."

Again, they were met with silence.

"This is so fucking weird," Emmett muttered under his breath, rubbing his eyes as if he could undo what he was seeing.

"Well, I hope you try to get used to it," Edward said flatly. "This isn't a dalliance. This isn't going away. Bella and I have a lot we need to discuss, so I'm going to ask you to respect that first and foremost."

"That's worrisome on so many levels," Esme said, hand to her cheek. She closed her eyes. "But no. You're right. Maybe the best thing is to get a little sleep on it, let it settle."

Carlisle and Emmett gave begrudging nods. "You're right. We're all a little defensive right now. It's best to take a step back," Carlisle agreed. His word was final.

Bella felt the pressure on her shoulders and chest ease considerably. She was itching to be out of the hot seat.

Carlisle stood, pulling Esme with him. He looked at Edward and Bella pointedly. "Breakfast tomorrow. I'm sure we all have much more to say."

When everyone had agreed, Carlisle and Esme hugged and kissed them both. "You know we love you."

"Of course."

Edward tugged Bella's hand, as eager to get away as she felt, apparently. They got to the stairs first finding a very amused looking Jasper and Alice sitting, waiting for them. "You're the epitome of a late bloomer, Edward. It's a little late to hit the benchmark of getting caught getting down with your girl on the couch."

Bella made a face and Edward glared. "Move," was all he said.

Laughing, Jasper got up, drawing Alice to his side. "You're not my sister, are you sugar?"

"Oh, hell no," Alice snickered.

"Thank goodness for that." He tossed Edward another smirk, patting his arm as they branched off, going into the guest room they now shared.

Beside her, Edward sighed, but he slipped his arm around her waist, leaning down as they continued up to the third floor. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he murmured in her ear, soft enough that only she could hear.

Bella grinned, pleased. She'd been afraid he would want to keep his distance. "Yes," she whispered back.

He stopped a moment, brushing her cheek with the backs of his fingers, his smile moving more toward serene again. He leaned in to kiss her softly only to be interrupted by someone clearing his throat very loudly.

Edward and Bella both looked up to find Emmett standing at the end of the hallway, staring at them pointedly.

With an impish grin, Edward flipped his elder brother off, pulling Bella with him into his room and shutting the door.

They heard the boom of Emmett's laughter.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Phew! Well. That's over. How we doing out there?
> 
> Thanks to GinnyW, jfka06, and Barburella for all they do! Oooh and Shug. I've got a great team.


	13. The First Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication: To dag21. Happy belated birthday, lovely!

The instant they were behind closed doors, Edward gathered Bella into his arms, burying his nose against her neck. "For the love of all that's holy. Did that just happen?"

Given that he could hear his brother's chortling as he retreated down the hallway, Edward knew it had all happened.

Wrapping herself around him, Bella suddenly giggled.

Then Edward started chuckling.

Because really, the situation was a little hilarious. Now that all the anger had passed, at least for the time being, how could they all help but laugh?

So they laughed until their bellies ached and fell down on his bed, still tittering.

He kissed her then softly, his hand brushing along her side. "They're going to want more answers in the morning," he mumbled against her lips.

She hummed, not really able to say much as he kept kissing her and she didn't stop him.

But eventually, she broke their sweet kisses with a sigh, snuggling against them. "What are we doing, Edward?"

His heart gave a nervous twist, and he laughed again. "I don't even know where you live, you know that?"

"I live... here, I suppose."

"Well, but you must have a plan now that you've graduated. A job you want? Or at least a city you want to live in."

"I was thinking of taking the rest of the year off, maybe traveling," she said quietly, laying her head on his chest as he rolled onto his back. "I... Well, I have a lot to think about in regards to my future."

Her fingers were tracing delicious patterns on his chest.

Edward knew what he wanted, but he didn't know if he had the right to ask.

She tilted her head up, kissing the underside of his chin. He was suddenly overcome by images of her naked on his expensive couch, in his bed... wrapping his arms around her waist, kissing her neck as she stood in his kitchen.

Yes, he wanted it. It was an ache so deep it made him dizzy.

"Bella, have you ever actually been to Chicago?"

She raised her head. "No, actually. I haven't."

"If you want to travel, maybe you might consider making that the first destination," he suggested lightly.

A smile spread slow across her lips. She quickly readjusted, making her expression serious. "You got stuff in Chicago?"

Wrapping his hands around her waist, he rolled onto his back, bringing her with him. He waggled his eyebrows at her playfully. "I have some things for you to see in Chicago."

"Just in Chicago?" She bit her lip, bucking her hips a little against his.

Edward bit a lip, muffling a groan. "Minx," he rumbled, claiming her lips again, his hands cupping her face.

_**~0~** _

Consciousness came slowly. Edward could not remember the last time he'd slept so well, that he'd woken up so completely content.

A soft sigh brought him fully into wakefulness.

For the first time in a long time, he was not alone in his bed.

Better than that, for the first time in his life, he woke with Bella in his arms.

It was the first time, and yet this feeling was as old as the world, as natural to him as breathing. He'd never been a cuddler before, always too restless at night to keep in one position. But last night, he must not have moved because he'd drifted off in exactly this pose, his arm around her waist, her head tucked under his chin.

He tilted his head down now, pressing a long kiss to the back of her hair. He smiled contentedly, picking out small things - the way the sunlight glinted gold on the little hairs that stuck up wildly, the way her quiet sighs were so undeniably light and feminine, though Bella's voice was usually deep and scratchy.

"Mmm, Edward," she hummed in her sleep.

Speaking of deep and scratchy.

Edward closed his eyes, tilting his forehead against her and breathing deep, trying to control his automatic reaction to hearing his name tumble from her lips. She wasn't making it easy, the way she was wiggling against him. It was all he could do not to use his legs to push hers open and bury himself inside her just the way he wanted.

But he needed to wait, he knew that.

For now, it was enough that she'd stayed despite...

Despite the convening of the Spanish Inquisition Tribunal.

Thinking of their family, their reactions, helped Edward calm down considerably, but it sparked his ire.

Their shock was understandable, and it wasn't as though he hadn't had nearly every thought they'd hurled at him himself.

It did bother him though that they'd even entertained the thought he would hurt or take advantage of her. He hoped it was the simple shock that had given them such pause.

One thing Edward knew for certain, if he had to, he could live without his family's approval. He'd come a long way in the last few days, and now that he'd woken up just like this, he had absolutely no intention of letting Bella go ever again.

She stirred then, coming awake with one of those yawns that whined at the end. Only when she began to turn did he loosen his hold on her. She smiled, her eyes hooded with sleepiness, and tucked both her hands under her cheek as she looked on him.

"Hi," she said shyly.

She was so precious to him.

"Hi," he replied, his own voice raspy. He stroked her cheek gently, adoring the light blush that blossomed under his fingertips. "You are so lovely," he murmured and kissed her because he absolutely couldn't help himself.

She responded, hitching her leg up over his waist, making his head spin with all the things he wanted to do, all the ways he wanted to touch her. But...

He broke their kiss regretfully. "Promise me something?"

"Anything." She was breathless, and the sound did magnificent things to his body.

"As soon as we can, I want to just spend an entire day in bed with you. We don't even have to do anything. I just... really like this."

Her smile was back, wide and gorgeous. "Yeah," she said softly. Her eyes glinted with a hint of mischief, and she ducked her head a little - both shy and sultry. "Though I'm not sure I can agree with the not doing anything part."

He gave a little growl, tilting back her chin with his nose so he could suck lightly at her neck, making her giggle and writhe a bit.

Panting a little, his head resting on her chest, Edward again reminded himself their family would be waiting downstairs shortly if they weren't already.

"Come on, pretty girl. Time to face the day."

_**~0~** _

When they were both showered and dressed, Edward and Bella descended the stairs together, again holding hands.

Jasper was just coming out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee in his hands. He set them both down on the end table next to Alice and went to Edward, patting his shoulder with a mock-serious expression. "Edward, I want you to know. I love you like a brother." He leaned in, narrowing his eyes. "Which is not an invitation to make out."

Alice snickered, and Edward rolled his eyes. "Hilarious, Jasper," he muttered moodily.

Intensely happy despite the fact she knew they'd have to face more scrutiny from their family, Bella sighed and leaned against Edward's side, feeling light enough to tease. "That's too bad," she said with a slight pout, looking from Jasper up to Edward. "It'd be hot to see you two kiss." She winked before she headed for the kitchen leaving Jasper and Alice guffawing and Edward staring behind her.

In the kitchen, her confidence wavered for an instant when she saw Esme and Carlisle were already there. But Carlisle kissed her cheek and handed her a cup of coffee, and Esme hugged her tightly before asking if she wanted eggs.

"I think I'm going to get eggs and bacon going," Esme said decisively.

"Scrambled then. You can't really go wrong with scrambled," Bella said, nodding with mock seriousness. "I'll make pancakes."

"Do we have blueberries?"

They all three turned to see Edward leaning up against the wall, his eyes on Bella. Though she was hyper aware Esme and Carlisle were watching them, Bella smiled back at him - a private smile - and he grinned at her, the expression intimate even though they were across the room from each other.

Esme cleared her throat. Her voice carried a hint of forced lightness. "I think we do."

"Excellent. I'll help."

The atmosphere between them all wasn't precisely comfortable, but it wasn't so very awkward either. Even when Emmett, Rosalie, and Henry made it down, it wasn't too bad.

Emmett did stare warily every time Edward and Bella got near enough their bodies brushed. And when they were all seated and Edward pressed a chaste kiss to Bella's forehead as he set her plate in front of her, Emmett shuddered, jumping a little in his chair. "Ugh. That gives me the heebie jeebies."

Edward only looked at his brother coolly, not commenting as he began to cut into his pancakes. Bella slipped her hand beneath the table, wresting it on his knee. The tense set of his body relaxed considerably when she did.

They ate in relative silence except for Henry's cheerful babbling as he gnawed on a piece of bacon.

It was Esme who chose to address the elephant in the room. "Edward, Bella, I just want to apologize for some of the things we said last night," she began quietly. "It's not to say we don't have concerns, but there was probably a more tactful way of approaching the situation."

Edward snorted softly. "Well, it probably wasn't very tactful of us to fall asleep in the living room like that," he acknowledged.

Bella blushed furiously, staring down at her food.

"Good thing your anniversary is coming up pretty quick," Emmett muttered to his parents. "I'm going to have to replace that couch for you, or else I won't be able to set foot in that living room again ever."

"Emmett, maybe we should all try to be a little more respectful of each other," Carlisle suggested lightly.

"Hey, I have to laugh. I mean, it's either laugh or be mad, right? For now? I'm sure I'll get used to it." He eyed them again, and Bella was almost sure he could see her hand on Edward's knee beneath the table. Emmett grimaced. "Well... maybe."

"I don't want you to think we aren't supportive of you," Esme said, her tone back to her usual gentleness. "All I've wanted for my children is to see them happy and settled. And like you said last night, Bella, you are both such wonderful people. You will be good for each other.

"It's just difficult not to be worried. Your situation is complicated."

"Every relationship is complicated," Bella interjected, her voice steady. "You worried for Rosalie, being with Edward first and living in Chicago when Emmett lived in Seattle. That worked out."

"It did," Esme agreed. "You're right, every relationship has its complications. Have you considered the... breadth of yours?"

Bella glanced and Edward and she back at him. Their troubled past with each other and their guilt over their part in the last six years had seemed like the biggest hurdle they needed to clear. They were still learning how to be comfortable with each other, how to be together physically.

"There's time to figure all that out," Edward said, sounding a bit annoyed. "We've told you - this is very new. It's not like we're going to run off and get married tomorrow."

"You can't blame us for being worried. Of course, as your mother, I'm going to worry about you regardless, but it's bigger than that. Your relationship will have a repercussion on our family one way or another."

Carlisle nodded his agreement. "There's a lot for you both to think about. I know your age difference is not so terrible, but it's not something that can be merely brushed aside either," he said softly. "You can't deny you're in completely different places in your life. Bella, you're just starting out. Edward, you're settled at your job and in your life. I won't assume to know what you want, but what if you want a family sooner than Bella is ready to give you one?"

Bella bit her lip and Edward's fork clattered as he set it down a little too forcefully against his plate. "That is... getting very much ahead of ourselves."

"Well, it's something to think about," Rosalie said thoughtfully. "You remember Vera, don't you?" she asked Edward who nodded brusquely. "Well, she married with about the same age gap as you and Bella. They had kids pretty quickly. He was ready. She was caught up in the honeymoon period of their relationship. Now she's... conflicted sometimes. She's not miserable, but she has real low moments, regretting all the things she didn't do because she jumped ahead in her life to keep up with her husband." Rosalie cupped her hands over her son's ears despite his protest, lowering her voice as she continued. "Last year, she flew across the country fully intending on having a little affair with this woman she met online. She didn't do it, but it was close. You know?"

Edward had dropped his hand beneath the table and was playing with Bella's fingers, simply staring at his breakfast now. Bella felt a prick of anger, and her stomach twisted. They were going to give him a complex he didn't need to have.

"We're going to figure it out," Bella said firmly, grasping Edward's hand as she spoke.

"I know you will," Esme said, nodding. There was a tightness around her eyes. "I do want you to be happy. What I don't want is, if things go wrong, for our family to be split apart. I'm not going to choose between you on holidays."

"Begging your pardon. I know it's not my place, not my family, but Edward is my friend," Jasper -silent to that point - interjected, his tone polite but completely serious. "Don't you think you're putting a heap of pressure on both of them when they've told you they're only beginning to figure things out?"

Now it was Carlisle and Esme who stared down at their plates, looking guilty. Even Emmett grimaced, concentrating on ripping apart his pancake and throwing the pieces into a river of syrup.

Edward blew out a sharp breath. "Neither of us is children," he said, glancing at Bella and giving her hand a squeeze. "I told you last night, this isn't a dalliance. It's not a tryst. It's not something I'm entering into lightly."

Bella's head spun. Carlisle and Esme's concerns had their intended effect. Suddenly, Bella was overwhelmed. There were too many question marks in her future, and while she couldn't fathom wanting to let Edward go, she was also having a hard time wrapping her head around the idea of a forever relationship.

She was still a virgin who'd never so much as had a boyfriend. Edward had expressed his fears that he was an old man who had no business pining after a woman as young as she was with her whole life ahead of her.

What if the real question was, did she have any business being with an established man who was likely ready to settle down when her life was anything but settled?

_**~0~** _

After breakfast, Bella wandered out the back door, feeling too crowded by her well meaning family gathered in the kitchen, all cleaning together.

Outside, the crisp air felt better on her overheated flesh. She breathed deep, appreciating the way the clean, cold air soothed the ache in her chest.

Staring out at the green, Bella thought about life. She remembered being a confused child, not sure of her place anymore, knowing one family was gone and not sure about this other family. She remembered feeling weightless when Edward shifted her onto his back and ran with her through the trees. She remembered roughhousing with Emmett who let her believe she - a puny seven or eight year old - could wrestle him - a bear of a man - to the grass. She remembered birthdays, and holidays, conversations, good times and bad times with this family who was hers, but wasn't.

What would the coming years bring to her memories of this place? Already the woods held a hint of mischief. When she remembered how Edward had pulled her into the trees to kiss her to ask her if they could spend the night together, her cheeks flushed and her pulse raced. Remembering the urgency of his kisses, the way he surrounded her as he caged her between his arms, his body, and the tree, Bella's thoughts began to wander.

She was in a confusing place. On the one hand, she was experiencing the unbelievable roller coaster that was first love at twenty-two, eons after the majority of her peers. Despite her maturity, she found she wanted to revel in those little moments. Making out, getting a little naughty on the couch, stolen kisses... She wanted the stories she'd been missing out on from the innocent - playing footsie under the booth when they went out to dinner - to the not so innocent - long weekends where they ignored everyone and everything because they simply couldn't get enough of each other.

But at the same time, the adult in her knew this was not a normal relationship. They weren't strangers who met in some serendipitous moment. They had a history, a complicated one at that. As much as she wanted to get lost in the romance, she knew they had to have a serious discussion sooner rather than later.

Bella about jumped out of her skin when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist. But she quickly settled down, leaning back against him, closing her eyes as his warmth enveloped her.

"You're a million miles away," he murmured against her ear. "What are you thinking?"

What a loaded question that was. "Nothing important." She folded her hands over his.

"Hmmm." The way his voice vibrated with his chest against her back sent thrills through her body. "I think you're lying."

Bella sighed. He'd always been able to read her so well. She was silent, wondering how to articulate how she was feeling. On the one hand, they really needed to talk. On the other hand, she could stay here like this with his arms wrapped around her forever.

Or at least for a little while longer. She hated to be the one to burst this lovely little bubble of contentment.

Before too long, though, Edward unwound his arms from around her. Bella pressed her lips together to contain her whimper, turning slightly to look at him. He was studying her, a contemplative expression on his face.

A gentle smile played at his lips then. "I'm going for a walk," he declared.

Then he extended his hand toward her.

Bella studied it, her mind scrambling, as if she wasn't quite sure she understood what was happening.

Then she took his hand and walked beside him into the woods, to the place that she hadn't been since she was a teenager.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to dizzygrl28 for stepping in to beta and to GinnyW, Barburella, and jfka06 for all their help making my documents an ... er... colorful place.
> 
> So we're nearing the end here folks. I thought I should give you fair warning. I can't foresee this being more than a few chapters more.
> 
> You never know, though. E/B totally run wherever they want to. I have no control over these two.


	14. Contentment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This might be the first time I've written the obligatory meadow scene. Weird!

The closer they got to their destination, the less Edward could deny there was a sense of trepidation in the air. Bella was silent, caught up in heavy thoughts it seemed, but she didn't let go of his hand. In any event, the atmosphere was not so oppressive Edward couldn't enjoy both the company and the lightness of gaining something he thought he'd lost forever.

The sanctuary of the forest was theirs again.

He couldn't confess to know what she was worried about - likely some of the same things he worried about - but somehow, now that they had the forest back, he felt it would all work out.

An idea ran through Edward's head and he mused at it for a few steps, considering for a moment. Tugging Bella's hand, he stopped and turned slightly. "Climb on, Princess."

Bella's eyes went wide. "Are you..." She laughed. "Edward, I'm not as light as a six year old anymore."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Precisely why I didn't simply pick you up and put you on my back." He tugged her hand. "Come on. Up you go, Princess."

His words were purposeful. The first time he'd uttered those words, a tiny Bella had giggled as she locked her skinny arms around his neck.

_"I tol' you. I don't wanna be the Princess, Edward! I wanna be Mario!"_

Bella - her full grown incarnation, smiled and blushed but wrapped her arms carefully about Edward's neck, taking care not to choke him. "I'm still no Princess, Yoshi."

"Well, I don't see any mustaches either, Mario." He hooked his arms under her legs, pulling her tight around him as he began to walk forward.

She rested her cheek lightly against his head. Edward wondered if there was a greater contentment than this. Her weight in his arms, against his back, was soothing. "Don't throw your back out," she teased near his ear.

He scoffed, looking over his shoulder at her. "Are you calling me old?"

"Not old so much as fragile."

"Ha!" As they had reached the meadow, he set her down and took her hand again.

Together, they looked around, both smiling. Bella let go of his hand only long enough to hop up on her old stump throne. He came to lean with his hands against the trunk, between her legs.

It was fitting they were back here now that they were together, now that their relationship had evolved. This place was their beginning. It was right that it had been forbidden to them when they were apart. Now, he was ready to reclaim it.

Only once he'd captured her lips with his for a long, slow, serious kiss did Edward take a step back, keeping her hand in his.

"Talk to me," he entreated.

She sighed, staring down at his fingers. "I suppose, I feel a little... unprepared. No, that's not the right word." She screwed up her lips, considering, and scoffed. "I feel young."

"This again," he growled playfully.

Bella smiled but continued. "You want to know a secret?"

"Of course."

It concerned him - the look on her face. She was guilty about something. "I haven't got a clue what I'm going to do with my degree." She did look up at him then as if begging him to understand. "I mean, I'm not even interested in the field anymore."

Edward contemplated this for a moment. "Okay. Well, a lot of people don't end up liking the fields they chose when they were eighteen," he pointed out. "The question here is not what you've done, but what you want." He sat on the grass, looking up at her. "So what do you want?"

She looked somewhat confused as she blinked at him. "Edward... doesn't it scare you? Doesn't it give you even the least bit of pause that you're well established in your career and I'm still flitting around with no plan for the rest of my life?"

Now it was Edward's turn to be confused. He tilted his head, and then realized what she might be worried about. "This is about what my mother said earlier, isn't it? You think I'm ready to settle down, have babies."

Her cheeks tinted pink. "It wouldn't be an abnormal thing for you to think about," she said quietly.

Edward thought a moment and then extended her hand to him. She took it and let him pull her down onto the grass beside him.

"I'm not going to lie to you. Kids... a family... it's something I've always wanted." He bumped her shoulder lightly. "But we're talking as an abstract idea. For heaven's sake, I was perpetually single just days ago. I'm not going to want a baby tomorrow, or even next year just because you're with me."

He looped his arm around her pulling her close. He nuzzled the side of her head so he could murmur directly in her ear, his voice low and husky. "Hell, if you want to know the truth, Bella, I don't intend to share you with anyone - children included - for quite some time."

Bella shivered, turning her head so she could brush her lips against his. He didn't need a second invitation. He laid back, pulling her down onto the soft carpet of grass with him, kissing her as he did.

He pulled back with a soft sigh and traced the lines of her face as he put together his thoughts. "Long story very short - kids, a family, marriage... these are not things I was actively working toward. I'm not derailing any plans being with you." He put his fingers under her chin, tilting her head up so he was sure she was looking him in the eye. "Even if you never want that, it is not a deal breaker to me."

"No, I do," she said quickly, a little breathless. "There are just things I want to do first. So many things you've already done."

"Well... Let's backtrack a bit. What field of work do you want to go into?"

"Patent law," she said without hesitation.

Edward's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Yeah." Her smile was bashful. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well, no. You're certainly smart enough. It's just... I'm just curious. How did you arrive at that thought?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Life? I'm not sure. It just happened over time that I got this kind of fascination with technology and software. But I don't have the patience for coding or anything like that. In patent law, you get to work with a wide variety of technologies, and you get to talk to all sorts of interesting people... inventors. It's exciting."

"You see... this is what you get for playing Dungeons and Dragons on weekends instead of partying hard. Come on. Admit it. You played, didn't you? You had to have to be around so many geeks and nerds long enough to get interested in that kind of thing."

"Played? I was a Dungeon Master. Respect."

Edward laughed, completely enthralled with this beautiful woman. "Well," he said in a light, sing-song voice. "Have you thought about schools at all?"

"No. I was going to take the rest of the year to research..." She trailed off, searching his face.

He cupped her cheeks in his hands. "Please understand, if this is not what you want, then we will figure something out," he said slowly, seriously. "But there  _are_ many great law schools in Chicago."

She grinned and tilted her head, kissing him. "That's something I'll have to look into."

"Good. That's settled then. We'll have you well on your way toward boring the hell out of people at parties in no time." He winked at her.

Bella smacked his shoulder, but she was smiling.

Edward stroked her cheek adoringly. "I know we have a lot to work out, but we'll get there. We have a short term plan. I'm not worried."

She tilted her head, looking him straight in the eye. "Really?  _You_ aren't worried?"

She knew him too well. "Oh, I'm utterly terrified," he admitted in a voice that belied his words. He laughed a little at the stricken expression on her face. "How could I not be, Bella? The last time I messed up, we hardly spoke for six years." He grimaced.

"Extenuating circumstance," she excused, running her thumb over his lips as though she were trying to straighten his frown. "We're not going to do that again."

"No. We're not," he agreed and sealed that promise with a kiss.

"Just... be patient with me," she said when they broke again. "I don't know how to be a girlfriend."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I know how to be a boyfriend? Really, I have just as much experience as you there." He stroked her hair back, staring up at the hazy sky as he mused aloud. "Rosalie and I... it wasn't a real relationship. We were on two completely different planes of existence most of the time, running in opposite directions."

"I guess you're right," Bella said thoughtfully, resting her head on his chest. "Hey, Edward?"

"Hmm?" Edward hummed. He was beginning to zone out a little, wanting to float wrapped in this moment with her for a while. Her body was warm against him, and he liked playing with her hair as they laid in the grass in their special place.

"As much as everything is changing... it's nice to have my confidant back. I'm glad I could talk to you about school." She sighed quietly. "I think you're still the only one who would take me seriously."

Edward smiled and stroked the hair away from her forehead so he could kiss her softly there. "I want to be everything I was to you and more."

She raised her head, her expression so adoring. "You already are."

_**~0~** _

One great thing about everyone knowing? Bella didn't feel the need to slip out of Edward's bed before everyone was awake as she'd done the first time.

The previous two days, Edward had gotten a jump on her, and she'd woken to his kisses at her neck, his hands cupping her breasts and between her legs. He nibbled on her earlobe and whispered gloriously filthy things in her ear - all the more titillating because holy Christ, Bella never would have guessed Edward Cullen would say those things in a million years, let alone to her.

Today, though, she woke first and had the pleasure of watching him for a little while as he slept.

He was precious. Beautiful and hers.

And maybe this morning, it was time to show him she could - and wanted to - reciprocate.

He was sleeping only in a pair of pajama pants, so his chest was bare as she trailed her fingers from his neck down to his stomach. He shifted in his sleep with the tiniest of moans at her titillating touch, rolling onto his back with one arm thrown up above his head. Bella smirked and pressed a kiss to his scruffy chin.

Even though Edward was still asleep, Bella still blushed as she slipped her hand under the waistband of his pants. Even though his would not be the first cock she'd ever touched, everything was different with him.

For one thing, the setting was a thousand times more intimate. Edward's arm curled around her automatically in his sleep as she laid her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, memorizing the feel of his body beneath her fingers, the smell of him in the early morning, his heart thumping beneath her ear. She took her time, winding her fingers through the coarse tangle of hair at the apex of his thighs before she moved down.

He was hot and thick in her hand, and she tilted her head upward to suck lightly just underneath his chin as she began to stroke.

His breath quickened, and she felt his throat contract under her lips as he swallowed hard once, twice. He whined - the sound still stuck in the back of his throat.

"Bella," he murmured, the sound scratchy and sexy and perfectly breathy. Bella raised her head so she could kiss him, moving her hand down so she could run the tips of her fingers over his balls while her palm continued to stimulate his shaft. "Fuck. Baby. What are you doing?" he rumbled his question against her lips.

She raised her head and smirked at him, amused by the confused look in his sleepy eyes and emboldened by the darkness in them - the desire.

Pressing kisses to his chin, his chest, Bella began to descend his body. He whimpered when she released him, but she only did so long enough to pull at his pants. He got the idea quickly enough, lifting his hips so she could get his pants down his legs.

His hands were gentle and tender as ever as her lips wrapped around him. He brushed his fingers through her hair, ran his thumb over the shell of her ear, traced her chin and around her lips as he slid in and out of her mouth.

"That's so pretty," he whispered hoarsely. "So good."

She loved that she had this power, to make him make those little noises. He whimpered. He moaned. The sounds were high-pitched, like he had absolutely no regard for being macho. She unraveled him, and he told her so. "God, you drive me so crazy. I love you, Bella."

She released him from her mouth, wrapping her hands around him, only long enough to whisper, "I love you," back.

Working him with her hands, her mouth, her tongue, she brought him to orgasm fairly quickly, loving the way he couldn't control the jerk of his hips the closer he got. He tried, she could tell, but in the end he pushed up into her mouth, his groan more of a whine when he hit the back of her throat.

He tugged on her ear a little frantically when he was about to come, but she held him fast, swallowed, and licked him clean, looking at him from underneath her eyelashes.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered breathlessly, caressing her chin with trembling fingers.

Feeling somewhat smug, she rested her cheek on his stomach, just watching him as he tried to catch his breath.

"Do you have any idea..." He swallowed and tried again, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "How did you do that?"

She snorted lightly, blushing, pleased that he was so pleased.

In all honesty, she didn't have so much experience. She'd just paid attention to his body, to which movements of her tongue, her lips, her fingers seemed to make him react most. She'd found she wanted to please him, thrilled at the thought she could bring him pleasure.

And of course, as she was quickly discovering, every act was that much more intense when it was done in love.

He chuckled, probably realizing there was no good way to answer that question, and tugged playfully on her hair. "Come up here," he requested, his voice a low rumble that sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

She crawled up his body and he immediately enveloped her in his arms. He kissed her once, fervently, before he rested his head on her chest and promptly fell back to sleep.

Bella lay away for a few more minutes, idly twisting a lock of his hair around her finger, feeling warm, cherished, and very much in love.

_**~0~** _

It was a restful afternoon. Jasper - who had extended his stay supposedly so he could be around for Edward's birthday but who really was having trouble separating himself from Alice - and Alice had gone out to explore Bogachiel State Park together. Emmett, Rosalie, and Henry had long gone home to Seattle. Carlisle and Edward were in the backyard, bent over the BBQ that everyone had been meaning to fix but no one had gotten around to yet.

Bella was in the sitting room pretending to read. Really, though, she was distracted, watching Edward, amused by the intense look of concentration on his face as he examined the BBQ with his father.

She was so enraptured, she didn't hear when Esme entered the room. Bella jumped when she heard Esme's quiet sigh.

"Hey," Bella murmured, abashed at having been caught staring. She sat up properly so Esme could come sit beside her.

Smiling, Esme sat. "Watching you these last couple of days, I keep wondering how I missed all the signs." She patted Bella's cheek gently. "A mother is supposed to know when her daughter falls in love for the first time."

Bella blushed furiously, looking down at her knees, but she absolutely couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. "Well, it was kind of a hectic time."

"Maybe," Esme allowed. She tilted her head and patted Bella's knee. "So... tell me all about him."

At first, Bella didn't understand what Esme was playing at. Then she realized, this was her way of trying to be like any other mother asking her daughter about her boyfriend.

And Bella found she wanted to gush, wanted her mother to know how very happy she was. "He's... amazing. He's so good to me and considerate. He's always looking out for my needs first, above anything else."

Esme's eyes sparkled. "Handsome?"

Ducking her head, Bella grinned. "You can't imagine. And he has this hair... so unruly."

"Oh, his hair." Esme laughed. "You know, when he was going to have his first school picture taken, he had a cowlick. Didn't matter what I did - it would not go down."

Bella laughed. "Really? I didn't know that."

"I think he hid all those pictures. I have some though." Taking Bella's hands, Esme gave them a tight squeeze. "He makes you happy." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. He really does."

"That's what I want. That's what I want for both of you," Esme said fervently. She took a deep breath. "I am sorry about how I approached this at first. It was hard to know what to think. And it isn't to say I don't worry for you. For both of you, of course, but for you especially. Worry and reservation come with the territory of being a mother." She smiled wryly. "But he's what you want?"

 _For longer than I could ever explain._ "Yes," Bella said out loud, her voice firm. She'd never been more certain of anything in her life.

Esme's smile was genuine. "Then it will work out. I'm happy for you."

There was a weight on Bella's shoulders she hadn't really realized was there until it was lifted with Esme's words. She flew forward, throwing her arms around this woman who had been her mother for the last sixteen years. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to jfka06 for letting me pick her brain, and to barburella and GinnyW for all their help. MWAH.
> 
> Well, folks... I really think we have just one chapter and an epilogue left. Again, thank you so much for your response. I read and appreciate each and every one of your reviews. Big puffy hearts to you all.


	15. The End Is The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication: To GinnyW's team. I'm sent my WIN mojo in return for a beta. Don't ask me what sport - I didn't ask.
> 
> Also – please send positive thoughts in Shug's general direction. I'd appreciate it.

"You know, this thing is ancient. It might be more prudent just to get a new one," Edward muttered, poking at the BBQ as if he knew what he were doing.

"Maybe," Carlisle allowed. He laid back on the grass, staring straight up.

"Very helpful, Dad," Edward said, chuckling.

"Come sit with me a second," his father answered, his voice more serious.

Automatically, the tone had Edward on edge, anxious. His jaw clenched, but he put down the screwdriver he'd been wielding. "If you're planning another lecture..."

"Not a lecture," Carlisle assured. "Just listen."

Edward sat attentively still.

For a moment his father said nothing, his lips pursed as he stared up at the sky. "I was unfair to you the other night, and I know some of my questions hurt you." He looked at Edward, his expression sincere. "I'm sorry for that."

"I won't pretend that didn't hurt," Edward said slowly. "I understand you were shocked, but that it even crossed your mind I would hurt Bella in that way, take advantage of her..." He shook his head, his throat tight.

Carlisle frowned. "In many ways, it's a very different thing to raise a daughter than a son. Bella was such an easy child in many ways, especially when it came to boys - men." He smirked a little. "Even when she was just a baby, Charlie was very specific about what his policy would be when his little girl started dating."

"The fourth degree, is it?" Edward asked wryly.

"Exactly. Your mother and I, we've always been mindful of how Charlie and Renee would have wanted her to be raised." He set his lips in a firm line. "No excuses, Edward. Obviously, no matter what the circumstances, I do know you better than that. I was naturally more concerned for Bella. She is still so very young, and while I know she's pragmatic, it's difficult not to worry. But you've been so very aware of Bella's needs almost her entire life."

"It's an awkward situation." He huffed a little. "Believe me, it's no small... bump in our relationship. Redefining what we are given what we have been hasn't been easy."

"But worth it?" Carlisle suggested with a smile.

"Very much so."

"You do look happy, Edward."

"Well, I am happy. I..." Cocking his head, Edward looked off, his lips turning up at the corner of one side of his mouth. "It's like... I don't know, Dad. I've had a good, full life thus far. I've met amazing people. I've worked hard. I've done some amazing things, and somehow, with her, with the possibility of us, it feels like my life is just beginning."

Carlisle sat up, studying his son. He clapped his arm. "I'm glad. Truly. What I told you before isn't untrue. Your mother and I have wanted this for you for a long time."

"Just not with Bella," Edward suggested with forced lightness.

"Well, it's complicated, but then such is life." He took a deep breath. "In retrospect, she's a good match for you, Edward, and you for her. Bella wouldn't tolerate many of the men her own age. She's naturally more mature than that. And she has always lightened your... naturally heavy nature."

Edward chuckled. "Like I said - she makes me happy."

"Then I'm happy for you. Your mother and I both are." Carlisle's tone was sincere. "And on the other end of the spectrum... I have the utmost confidence you'll treat my little girl the way she deserves to be treated."

Edward laughed but quickly sobered and offered Carlisle his hand. "You have my promise, sir."

_**~0~** _

The day before Edward's birthday saw Edward and Bella in the tiny community of Sekiu, WA at the Chito Beach Resort.

As much as they loved their family, they were ready to spend a little guaranteed alone time together.

"This is perfect, Edward," Bella said with a sigh, looking out at the little cabin and the view of the ocean.

"It's very lovely," he murmured, stroking her cheek with the back of his knuckles.

She gave him a look letting him know he was a cheesy bastard but smiled and turned her head quick enough to kiss his fingers.

Edward chuckled and grimaced a little. "I didn't really want this cabin."

"Why? I love the view of the East Bay," Bella protested, twining her fingers with his as they walked up the steps.

"It's the name. I didn't much care for it. I was trying to get the Bird House but ended up with the Wolf Den instead."

Bella was confused. "Why does that matter?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "It just does."

"Well, I think it's great." She stood on her tiptoes to peck his lips.

Edward caught her around the waist, holding her to him for a more prolonged, much more thorough kiss as he walked her backward until she ran out of room. He kept coming, resting his hands on either side of her head as he pressed his body against hers, ducking down to keep their lips connected. His tongue stroked hers languidly, and he sighed contentedly when her hands ran up his sides.

He kept his lips pressed to hers, one arm around her waist, but he dug into his pocket, fishing out the key they'd just retrieved from the front office.

How he managed to get the door open with his eyes closed, Bella didn't know or care. She was glad when they were inside, though she would have let him take her up against the door if that was what he wanted.

"We should unpack," he mumbled against her lips. "Or go to the grocery store. There's a kitchenette here somewhere." He wrapped both his arms around her, pulling her body flush with his.

"Not hungry," she lied.

She was hungry and wanting, but not for food.

Edward smiled against her lips, kissing her once more as his eyes fluttered open. He pulled slightly away, looking around. "Christ, we get it," he muttered.

It took her a second to figure out he was scowling at the art scattered around the cabin's tiny living room.

The walls were covered in wolves - paintings and pictures.

Bella rolled her eyes, holding his chin and turning his face back toward her. She nipped at his lips with tiny little kisses. "Are you sure you care?" she asked in a lilting voice.

He sucked in a breath, his hands roaming her back and cupping her ass. "Not at all."

When she had to breathe, Bella rested her head on Edward's shoulder, leaning up against him. He kept his arm around her waist, stroking her back as they both looked around.

"It's small," he noted. "Smaller than I thought."

"It's perfect," Bella returned.

It was quaint and private. There was a tiny living room, a tinier kitchen and dining area and a bedroom with a queen-sized bed. Everything they needed for a single evening.

They both knew what they were doing here.

Smiling down at her, Edward released her long enough to duck outside and grab their suitcase. He set it just inside the door, going back to her side as if even that little trip had been too much. "Do you want to take a walk by the beach? Explore a bit?" he offered.

Feeling shy, wishing she could be supremely confident about what she wanted, Bella swallowed down her nerves as she reached for his hand. His fingers squeezed hers, and she immediately felt more at ease.

Maybe she wasn't going to be smooth, but she was secure in the fact he wanted her. She could see it in his eyes - that hunger mixed in with the adoration, the love.

Suddenly, his eyes brightened. "Oh. I have something for this moment. You know. To set the mood." He winked at her.

His wink made her feel as giddy as a schoolgirl.

Edward took on a serious expression, holding her at arms length. He took a step away from her.

"What are you-"

He held up his finger, asking her to wait, and then finally looked up, his eyes and demeanor reeking of complete sincerity. "Scully, you have to believe me. Nobody else on this whole damn planet has or ever will." He stared right into her. "You're my one in five... now closer to seven billion."

Bella pressed her lips together, blinking as she figured out what he was doing. Then she burst out laughing.

He smirked, but cleared his throat and continued.

"The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down. There was one thing that remained the same. You... were my friend, and you told me the truth. Even when the world was falling apart, you were my constant... my touchstone."

Bella couldn't even help herself. As Edward recited some of the more romantic lines from the history of the X-Files, she was swooning... more than a little.

But she couldn't help but tease him. "Taking a page from Mike's book again, are you?"

He narrowed his eyes.

"Maybe I would have been better off with the original. Oh, Mike. How will I go on?"

Edward growled, rushing forward, claiming her lips again with a ferocity that knocked the breath out of her. She laughed and kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck.

His fingers ghosted against her side making her giggle breathlessly.

"Geek," she accused, and Edward laughed, pushing her back onto the bed.

He was on his knees above her, grinning down at her, and Bella was sure her face was flushed, her hair wild around her. She could have felt self-conscious, ridiculous to have been chortling so loudly, but the way he was looking at her, she only felt cherished and beautiful.

The laughter faded from the air, replaced with something more intense. The sweet, light-hearted atmosphere left behind by their playful banter remained - a rose colored tint around the edges of their present vibrant reality. There was an intensity to the bubble around them, a heat she felt on her skin and a delectable thrill that sparked in her bloodstream. His eyes searched her face - the expression in them a reflection of the emotion that welled in her - so overwhelmingly large and frightening and yet...

So very, very good.

Bella reached up, tracing the line of his face with her fingertips. "I love you," she whispered.

His face lit up from his smile to the twinkle in his eyes. Even his skin seemed to glow more radiant with his happiness. He leaned down, holding himself aloft on both his hands. "You're everything," he said simply.

Cupping his face in her hands, she smiled up at him, so at peace with this moment. Her hands drifted down as though this were the oldest habit of hers, of theirs. As if it were the most natural thing to do, Bella began unbuttoning his shirt.

And really, this expression of attraction, of mutual want, was as old as time was long. It was right - this thing that existed between them, this pull she felt that could only be sated by his touch.

They were meant for exactly this.

Edward straightened again, pulling Bella up with him into a sitting position. He kissed her soft, slow, stoking a fire in the pit of her belly that burned with delicious heat. He didn't need words when he could show her exactly how he felt; he was making love to her already though he'd barely touched her.

His fingers were strong against her back. He massaged her skin above the waistline of her jeans before he broke their kiss long enough to pull the shirt over her head.

She reached for his belt but he caught her hands. "Let me take care of you," he entreated.

At first, she thought of protesting; she so wanted to prove she could take care of him, too. But then she realized how much he wanted to do this for her.

There would be time, afterall. They had time ahead to give and take of each other.

So Bella laid back on the bed, watching him, letting herself get wrapped up in the moment and the way he awakened her senses. She simply hadn't known she could feel alive in this way, completely cherished. As he took off the rest of her clothes, he caressed and kissed and otherwise titillated every inch of her body as he exposed her. She was aroused at his touch, the pretty words he whispered against her skin. If she was ever asked to draw love, it would be the look in his eyes as he watched her react.

When she was bare before him and he was likewise uncovered, Bella was somewhat surprised to find she wasn't nervous at all.

He lined up their bodies, his weight on her, though he supported much of his torso on his arms. He rained tiny kisses across her nose and cheeks. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She could feel him hard against her thigh. Her body called for his - eager, aching even. Part of her wanted to reach between them, to take him in her hands and guide him inside of her where she most wanted him to be.

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I love you," she reminded him, and pulled his head down to hers for a kiss. Her legs widened and he moaned into her mouth as he slipped against her.

"I love you," he echoed.

He kissed her slow, soft as he pushed inside her for the first time.

It was incredible, the way she stretched to fit around. Yes, she felt the burn as he thrust deeper into her, but she was more wrapped up in the way her body was made to accept his. It was an idea as old as time and yet so new to her.

She was suddenly glad she'd waited for him. This man had been inside her head and her heart, it was only right he would be the only one ever to be inside her body. As old as this act was, Bella knew what she had was rare. Even amongst lovers, it was rare to be such a part of someone else - two parts of the same whole.

"Look at me," he whispered. "Open your eyes."

Bella hadn't even realized she'd closed her eyes until she suddenly remembered why she had.

It was almost too much, when she looked into his eyes. Like this love they shared was too big to fit inside their human bodies. Like it would consume her whole.

Bella let one hand slide off his back and snaked it down between them.

Feeling the heat from his cock as he slid in and out of her, the slickness of their bodies where they were joined, was far and away the most erotic moment of Bella's life. Edward moaned, apparently enjoying the feel of her fingertips skimming him even as he rocked deeper inside her.

The ache inside her was lessening. Bella lifted her legs along his side, welcoming him deeper.

"Oh, God," Edward groaned, his voice a rasp near her ear.

Completely caught up in the feel of him, the emotion of the moment, Bella was beyond words. She hitched her legs up around his waist, her heels digging into his back, urging him deeper, faster.

"Bella," he rasped her name, losing himself to an easy yet steady rhythm. He kissed her once, twice, before he could only pant. They shared their breaths as they shared their bodies.

She actually saw his eyes roll back into his head when he came, felt him pulse inside her. She wrapped her arms around him, wiping the dampness from his skin as his back rose and fell with his erratic breaths. She'd never felt such peace as she did when he laid his head on her chest, his body draped over hers.

They didn't need words just then to communicate what they were feeling. They didn't need to say out loud how they fit, how they were perfect together - perfect for each other. It was as though he'd been part of her always, made to be exactly what she needed. He'd been her best friend, her protector, her confidant. He'd been her comfort and her hero. Now he was her lover. Nothing, no age difference or complicated circumstance, could change what was ultimately simple fact: they were always meant to end up here together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to my team.
> 
> Quick rec for youz guyz: Refunded, Darling by Iambeck. Gorgeous writing. Intriguing storyline. I'm really enjoying it thus far and it updates regularly.
> 
> Guys. Seriously. Your reaction to this story has been ossim. It's been a genuine pleasure writing for you. See you at the epilogue!


	16. All In The Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedication: To Shug, even though she's abandoned me. *sadfase*

It was just before the dawn when Edward woke, blinking in the strangeness of the room. A moment passed before he realized where he was.

For the last three years, the day before his birthday, Edward and Bella found themselves back at the Chito Beach Resort - thankfully not in the Wolf Den. It was the first of many traditions they'd created together.

Edward rolled onto his side, smiling privately as he took in the sight of the gorgeous woman beside him.

She'd rolled onto her belly at some point during the night and had her arms around her pillow. She was nude, the blankets low on her waist. Edward ran his fingers down his favorite expanse of skin. He rested his hand flat against the small of her back considering that if it were at all possible, he would move into the divot where her back met her ass. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss there, smiling against her skin when she sighed.

At home, in his private office, he had a picture of her hanging at eye level beside his desk. It was of just this image - Bella asleep in their bed, her bare back on display - all smooth skin and perfect curves. The light was hitting her just so and she looked ethereal - so angelic.

She was precious, she'd always been precious to him. From the sweet, heartbroken little girl she'd been to this strong, brilliant, beautiful woman she'd become - she'd owned him from the very first moment.

He began to kiss up her back, his fingers tickling as they moved upward.

"Edward," she whined a bit as she stirred. He loved her like this - hair snarled and wild, voice scratchy with sleep - deep. "I'm not awake."

He just hummed, continuing, brushing her hair over one shoulder so he could kiss along the skin of the other.

"Edward," she said again.

"Hush you," he rumbled, pressing his lips to her ear. "You want me to get up for Comic Con in a couple weeks to wait in lines for four days, you don't even have to move for this. Much."

Bella snorted, burrowing further into her pillows. "Don't even pretend you don't like Comic Con. You legit fangirled when you met Kevin Smith last year. Fan girled, Edward. You squeaked."

Edward ran his hand down her back, giving her ass a little squeeze before he slipped his fingers between her legs. "I'm allowed one squeak. Your voice doesn't come out of that high pitch for at least a week, afterward."

She laughed and then moaned when his fingers moved over her clit. She shifted, spreading her legs as she cradled her head in her arms.

He used his knees to guide her legs further apart, positioning himself on top of her. He nuzzled her neck with his nose, murmuring into her ear that he loved her as he pressed himself slowly inside her.

This was a good position for them - intimate and easy. Bella was agreeable to making love in the morning as long as he didn't ask too much of her. As they'd been plenty athletic the night before, Edward was more than content to just enjoy the way her body felt under his, her small frame tucked just right against him. She sighed and pushed up into him, reaching back to run her fingers through his hair.

He could tell she was awake when she pushed up onto her knees, letting him slip deeper. Edward knelt behind her, his hands on her hips, pulling her body up toward his.

When he was spent they both curled up, content to fall back asleep. He woke her again at a more acceptable hour with his head between her thighs - one good turn deserving another.

The day passed much like this. They finally roused themselves from bed where they made breakfast side by side, Edward admiring Bella in his shirt, Bella admiring his toned physique without it. They took a walk out on the beach and made love again on the private patio's lounge chair.

Their lives in Chicago were busy. Bella was only a semester away from completing her degree, and Edward had just come off a slew of back to back shoots across the country. It was good to reconnect here where they'd first found themselves.

They were curled up on the couch, Bella's legs over his, pretending to watch a movie when Bella noticed Edward kept glancing at his watch. "Got a hot date you're not telling me about, Cullen?"

He smirked at her, leaning in to nip playfully at her nose. "As a matter of fact, I do." He glanced again. "But you're going to have to give it... oh, three minutes."

Bella rolled her eyes, rubbing his knee with her foot.

"Actually. I need to get something. Be right back."

He laughed when she protested but was out the door in minutes.

Outside, he saw no sign of his brother, but Emmett had kept his promised, as evidenced by the package that now sat in the backseat of the rental car. Edward smiled, glad his brother had come through.

Then his throat abruptly went dry with what he was about to do.

"Edward?" Bella called from the porch, peering at him.

Edward quickly threw a sweater over the package and went to join her.

"What is that?" she asked suspiciously as he climbed the steps back to her.

"Never you mind," he dismissed, taking her hand in his free one and leading her back inside.

"Okay. It's been more than three minutes."

Edward grinned. Bella's curiosity was insatiable once piqued. "Fine, Miss Impatience." He gave her a serious look. "Now. It's past nine at night which means somewhere on this continent, it's already my birthday."

She wrapped her arms around his neck, scooting closer to him on the couch. "Then happy fortieth in Florida," she murmured, kissing his lips softly.

He lingered a moment, kissing her back before he got back to business. "Good. Then I have something for you."

"Edward," she protested in a groan. "It's  _your_ birthday. You're not supposed to give me gifts on  _your_ birthday."

"Birthday boy gets what he wants. That's your rule, remember?" he said sternly.

Her expression was coy. "Well, yeah, but usually I expect you to ask for sex."

Edward chuckled, taking out the package from behind his back.

Bella's eyebrows shot up. "Is that... a shelf from my room?"

It was indeed one of the cut out shelves from her room - the one made to look like the question mark box from the Super Mario games.

He held it above his head. "You know the drill, Swan. Bop the box for treasures."

Edward was frankly amazed his voice was holding steady, as nervous as he was.

Bella gave him a look but indulged him, reaching up to whack the box. He shook it forward at the same time and a smaller box fell out falling onto her lap. She snatched it up, her eyes shooting to his. "Edward..."

Swallowing, Edward took the box from her, opening it and resting it in her upturned palms. "My love for you has always been total and unconditional," he said softly, holding her eyes as she looked up from the engagement ring nestled in the little box. "Marry me, Bella, and I promise I will love you the rest of your life."

Her eyes were shining. She flew forward into his arms, knocking him breathless as she kissed him again and again. "Yes," she said in a whisper. "Yes, yes I will."

The joy he felt was unlike any other. There was a fervent scramble wherein he managed to get the ring on the appropriate finger just before she pushed him onto his back, straddling his hips.

Some time later, when they were sated and she lay on top of him, her hand splayed across his chest and her head resting against his shoulder, she laughed.

"You asked me to marry you on your birthday - technically. And it was a geeky proposal, too," she mused.

"I'm not ashamed to hedge my bets."

Bella raised her head. "Silly man." She kissed him sweetly. "This is just a formality. I've been yours."

His smile spread so large he hardly had enough face to contain it. He traced her lips with his finger. "As I am yours," he promised in a whisper."

_**~0~** _

Edward had been surprised when Emmett agreed to help him with his proposal without a single word in jest. Of course, he should have known better. It turned out, his elder brother was just saving it for his birthday celebration.

"But where are you going to put the aisle?" he asked with an expression of faux concern.

Edward reached out to take Bella's hand, giving it a squeeze. "What are you talking about, Emmett?" she asked.

Completely straight faced, Emmett answered, "There's only one side. Usually you have a bride's side and a groom's side with an aisle down the middle, but you guys are just going to have one big group of people. So where's the aisle?"

"Emmett, are you giving your brother grief?" Esme asked as she came into the living room. "You know I am not above putting you in the corner, young man."

Henry thought this was hilarious and chortled merrily at the idea of his father being made to stand in the corner.

Emmett pretended to look hurt. "I'm just looking out for them, Ma! It's a valid concern."

"Maybe we won't have a traditional ceremony," Edward said easily.

"Non-traditional?" Rosalie raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing extreme. I actually really like the Celtic handfasting ceremony," Bella said, looking a little shy. "Each party comes forward as equals, promising to bind their lives together as their hands are bound."

"Sounds kinky," Emmett said.

"What's kinky?" Henry asked, wrinkling his nose.

Rosalie glared. "Thank you, Emmett."

"But Carlisle was so looking forward to walking you down the aisle," Esme said with a small frown.

Carlisle shook his head. "It's more important that you're happy," he said firmly.

"Well, nothing is set in stone," Edward said, squeezing Bella's hand again.

"Don't worry, Dad." Emmett patted his father's shoulder consolingly. "You'll still get to make the obligatory toast." He lifted his beer bottle. "I'm not looking at this like I'm losing a daughter... nor gaining a son... I'm pretty much breaking even."

Edward sighed. His parents pretended to glare, but they couldn't help but snicker. Shaking his head, Edward leaned down to whisper in Bella's ear. "I'm beginning to think Jasper and Alice had it right, sneaking off to Vegas."

She smiled, tilting her head to whisper back. "Meet you at the car? We can get out of here while they're still sniggering at us."

He pulled back giving her lips a quick peck.

At least he never had to fear his wife wouldn't be able to put up with his family.

Nor, he supposed, would he ever have the crazy in-law problem.

As the family continued their discussion, Edward simply sat back, basking. Even with his brother's gentle teasing, how could he be anything but happy? Though it had been an interesting start, they were part of the fabric of their extended family, fitting in easily, normally.

And even if their family had not ever accepted them, Edward would have counted himself lucky. Whatever their circumstance, an incredible woman had agreed to marry him, and life promised to be so, so good.

He thought of the future that loomed ahead of him, his mind naturally drifting to the snapshots he would take some day. He thought of how Bella would look on their wedding day - her hair no doubt ornately done - Alice would see to that - her skin cream and roses, her smile radiant. He thought further ahead, already knowing that when she was round with their baby, he wanted to capture her in their meadow with her hand cupped lovingly over her belly. He thought of how they would grow together, how their family would only grow from here.

He'd told his father once, back when this all began, that though he was almost forty then, it felt like his life was only beginning. How right he'd been in that assessment.

He wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulders, bringing her closer to him. She looked up, smiling as she reached out to take his hand.

Again, at forty, he considered that his life - their life - was only just beginning.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you to 2old4fanfic for the imagery of E taking pics of preggo B in the meadow. Too precious!
> 
> Well, folks, we come to the end of another tale. I am particularly proud of this little work, and I'm just so tickled at the support I've gotten.
> 
> So many thanks to Shug, who gifted me with this little bunny, GinnyW, jfka06, and barburella for everything.
> 
> And to you. It's been so awesome to read your reviews and your reaction. I'm so happy you've enjoyed the story.


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